The Tailor's Son
by riftintime
Summary: Lonely, sombre, twenty year old Ianto Jones is struggling to continue his late father's legacy, when a confident, handsome, older man suddenly enters his life. Can they overcome their differences and find happiness together? Jack/Ianto AU.
1. Chapter 1

"**The Tailor's Son" by riftintime**

**Summary:** Lonely, sombre, twenty year old Ianto Jones is struggling to continue his late father's legacy, when a confident, handsome, older man suddenly enters his life. Can they overcome their differences and find happiness together? Jack/Ianto AU story.

**Pairing:** Jack/Ianto

**Rating:** NC-17/Adult

**Genre:** Romance

**Warnings:** Explicit sexual situations and adult themes, occasional coarse language, references to past sexual trauma, romance, fluff, angst.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters created and owned by the BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Author****'s ****Notes:** This is an alternate universe story, using some of the Torchwood characters, and set in an alien-free world.

Enjoy and please review if you're able to and let me know what you think. All feedback is gratefully appreciated, and I do my best to reply to all reviews. Thanks for reading.

Thanks to my friend and beta Prothrombintime for invaluable support, encouragement, suggestions, and feedback.

Thanks also to Furious Dee for very generously providing feedback and encouragement.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

It was precisely six-thirty when the alarm buzzed insistently, filling the dark room with a shrill, unapologetic tone. An arm shot out from beneath the bed covers, accompanied by a despondent groan, and the alarm clock was silenced for a precious few minutes. Groaning again, Ianto Jones buried his face in the pillow and pulled the covers up tightly over his shoulders.

His sleep-fogged mind dimly registered that it was Saturday morning, his final work day for the week. Sunday was his solitary day off, his supposed day of rest, but, as always, it would be consumed by the mundane tasks he didn't have the time or inclination for during the other six days. The cycle would then start all over again, seemingly endless and forever unchanging.

Curling himself into a tight ball, Ianto pushed away his troubled thoughts. Taking comfort in the warm cocoon of his bed, he drifted back towards blissful unconsciousness.

All too soon, the alarm blared out again, and Ianto reluctantly threw back the covers and clambered to his feet. Shivering slightly as the cool air made contact with his skin, he retrieved his dressing gown from its hook behind the bedroom door and pulled it on over his flannel pyjamas. Stifling a yawn and rubbing at his eyes, he wandered through to the kitchen. He began his morning routine with his usual unerring precision, his mind on autopilot as he prepared the vitally important cup of fresh, strong coffee he needed to kick-start his day.

Invariably, his eyes drifted to the calendar hanging next to the doorway, and an irrational feeling of cold dread surged over him. In just under two months it would be his twenty-first birthday. It was an event most young men would eagerly anticipate. It was meant to be the true coming of age, a time of celebration with family and friends. However, Ianto didn't have anything to celebrate, and the looming day served only as a gut-wrenching reminder of everything he didn't have.

Like the year before, he planned to dull the pain by consuming a large quantity of alcohol. For that one day, he would succumb to self-pity and descend into a mindless, drunken stupor. At least that was something he could look forward to, he thought grimly as he sipped his coffee and readied a bowl of cereal.

The tiny kitchen, in his small and shabby flat on the outer-east side of Cardiff, was suffused in dull, grey, morning light, imbuing the space with a dreary, depressing atmosphere. Ianto choked back a sob as he sat eating his breakfast, the all too familiar sense of hopelessness once again taking hold. With each passing day, the loneliness and sense of isolation grew a little deeper. It was consuming him piece by piece, slowly eroding his strength and will to live. He tried to fight against the cowardly thoughts, but sometimes he wanted nothing more than for it all to end. Some days he wished he could just fade away into the darkness. He doubted anyone would even notice he was gone.

It was a while later, having eaten, showered, shaved, and dressed, when Ianto locked his front door and made his way down to where his car was parked at the rear of the building. He tightly clutched the brown paper bag containing the lunch he'd carefully prepared. Buying pre-made food was a luxury he simply couldn't afford. With a little forethought and effort, he managed quite well without the unnecessary indulgence.

Ianto walked with long, graceful steps, his shoulders pushed back, and his head held high. Groomed to perfection, and attired in an impeccably tailored three-piece, charcoal-grey, pinstripe suit, he was the perfect illusion of a confident, self-assured, albeit sombre, young man.

As he climbed into his modest and unassuming blue Audi A3 hatchback, Ianto focused his thoughts on the tasks for the day, carefully constructing a mental checklist. Routine, order, and organisation were the cornerstones of his existence. They gave him clarity of purpose, helping to assuage the heaviness in his heart and the darkness in his soul.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Ianto started the car and made his way out into the unremarkable, gloomy morning.

###

Jack Harkness looked dubiously across the street at the small and somewhat tired looking shopfront. The old-fashioned signage with bold white lettering on a dark green background proclaimed '_Jones __and __Son__ – __Master __Tailors'_.

He couldn't figure out why John had suggested, out of all the shops in Cardiff, that he should come to this particularly uninspiring example. There were countless other shops that would undoubtedly cater far better to his needs. Shaking his head in confusion, but deciding that he had nothing to lose, he strolled across the street and pushed his way through the heavy timber-framed glass door. A bell jingled above his head to announce his arrival.

Jack gazed around with curiosity as he stepped inside. The shop was small as he'd expected, and it seemed to be devoid of life. The space was neat and tidy – it was obviously well cared for – but the fixtures looked old and dated, and the overall atmosphere was rather dismal. Jack felt like he'd stepped back in time.

"Good morning, sir," said a deep voice with a mellifluous Welsh accent, cutting through the oppressive silence. "Can I help you with anything?"

Jack spun around with a jolt of surprise. He'd been examining the suits displayed on several mannequins at the front of the shop, and was on the verge of walking out the door, convinced the shop was of no value to him. He was startled to find an austere young man dressed in a perfectly fitting suit standing placidly in front of him. Jack belatedly noticed a heavy red curtain hanging across a doorway at the rear of the shop. Presumably, it led to a backroom from where the man must have silently emerged.

As he studied the other man, Jack barely managed to hold back a gasp of astonishment. He swallowed hard and began to open his mouth to respond, but found that he'd temporarily lost the ability to speak.

The man was lean and tall, about the same height as Jack's own six-foot stature, a polite but wary smile gracing his features. He gazed at Jack inquisitively with piercing blue-grey eyes. Despite his sombre attire of a grey, pinstripe suit and a crisp, white shirt, paired with a blue and grey stripped tie, he looked very young. He couldn't have been much more than eighteen or nineteen years old, Jack thought. Short, neatly styled, chocolate-coloured hair complemented his smooth, pale, and virtually flawless skin. His features were almost child-like, and they accentuated his youthful appearance, yet there was an undeniable sense of maturity and masculinity about him. His soulful, expressive eyes seemed at odds with the rest of his features. They seemed to radiate a depth of pain and experience beyond his tender years. The man wasn't exactly classically handsome, and yet, Jack couldn't help but think that he was, nonetheless, quite beautiful.

"Hi there." Jack was relieved to find that he'd recovered his voice. He offered up a broad, friendly smile. "Yeah, um… I'm looking for a new suit."

A furrow formed between the young man's eyebrows, and he looked at Jack doubtfully. "You understand that we specialise in bespoke suits, sir? If you're after something off the rack…"

Jack noted the last three words were uttered with a subtle hint of disdain. "No, I understand. I was recently promoted at work, so I thought I'd treat myself. Smarten up my image a bit. A friend suggested I should try your shop."

"It's always flattering to receive a recommendation from a satisfied customer." The man's expression became curious. "May I ask the name of your friend?"

Jack nodded. "His name's John Smith. I work with him. Well, actually, he's my boss. Do you know him?"

A look of recognition passed over the other man's features. "Ah. He and my father were friends. I don't know him very well, but we've met a few times. He's a bit… er… eccentric."

Jack chuckled, completely unable to deny the truth of the man's politely spoken description. In fact, he was certain that John would take it as a great compliment. "Your father owns the business?" he asked, continuing to gaze around.

The man tensed, a flicker of emotion passing over his features. "He did. He passed away a while ago. I own it now."

Jack hoped he'd managed to hide his surprise. He'd assumed that the man was an assistant of some kind. He hadn't considered that he might be the owner. "I'm very sorry," he said awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

"Thank you." The man's voice was stoically polite but devoid of emotion. "Do you have something specific in mind for your new suit? I'm sure I can manage any style you might be interested in."

The words might have sounded arrogant, Jack considered, but coming from this polite, unassuming young man, they seemed to merely reflect a quiet confidence in his ability.

"I'll need to take your measurements," the man continued. "Then once you've decided on the style and fabric, I can give you a quote on the cost for me to make it."

Jack felt his eyes widen in surprise. "You do all the work yourself?" he blurted out. "I mean, you make an entire suit from scratch?"

"Yes," the young man replied, somewhat stiffly. "I can assure you I'm quite capable. My father taught me everything he knew." A sad ghost of a smile briefly crossed his face. "He was one of the finest tailors in Wales," he said with obvious pride.

"I'm sorry," Jack said quickly, realising that he'd inadvertently offended the other man. He seemed far too young to have mastered such a specialised skill. Apparently the young Welshman was some kind of Einstein of haberdashery. "I didn't mean to question your abilities."

The man shrugged. "It's understandable. I know I must seem quite young."

They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Jack gestured at the suit the man was wearing, hoping to redeem himself. "Did you make this one?"

"Yes," he replied with a terse nod.

Jack reached forward tentatively. "May I?"

The man nodded again, and Jack lifted the lapel of the man's jacket, gently tracing the soft, finely woven wool between the pads of his fingertips. He felt his heartbeat quicken as the warmth of the man's chest prickled the skin on the back of his hand. Smiling, Jack quickly drew his hand away.

"What do you think?" the man asked, raising a dark, well-groomed eyebrow, apparently challenging Jack to find fault with his craftsmanship.

"Gorgeous," Jack replied sincerely.

The man's eyes widened for the briefest of moments. Then they seemed to soften, and Jack hoped that his earlier transgression had been forgiven.

"Are you interested then, sir? Would you like me to make you a suit?"

Jack hesitated, not sure exactly what he was getting himself into. He didn't want to risk offending the man any further either. "How much are we talking about here? Just a ball-park figure so I know if it's within my budget."

The young man nodded in understanding. "Do you want two or three piece?"

"Er, two," Jack replied.

"Single or double breasted?"

"Um, single."

"Two or three button jacket?"

"Hmm. Ah, two, I think."

The man frowned in concentration for a moment, apparently performing some mental calculations. Then his expression cleared, but he seemed to be regarding Jack with uncertainty, perhaps questioning his commitment to what he obviously considered to be a serious undertaking by both parties.

"You'll be looking at upwards of twelve-hundred pounds," the man stated. "Possibly up to fifteen-hundred depending on your choice of fabric."

Jack couldn't help but blow out a low whistle of surprise. It wasn't that he couldn't afford it, and he wasn't exactly known for his lack of extravagance on occasion, but he knew that he could buy two, or even three, decent off the rack suits for the same price.

The man cleared his throat. "Erm… if you're looking for a more inexpensive option," he offered, apparently picking up on Jack's uncertainty. "I can suggest some other shops that might…"

"No," Jack hastily replied, wondering if he was imagining the tone of disappointment in the young man's voice. "I want you to make a suit for me." He shrugged and grinned. "What the hell, it's only money."

The man continued to look at him doubtfully. "Are you sure, sir?"

"Positive. And please, none of this 'sir' business." He thrust out his hand. "I'm Jack… Jack Harkness."

The young man seemed to study him appraisingly for a moment, probably unsure of what to make of the brash American who had entered his domain.

After an awkward pause, he clasped Jack's hand, gripping it firmly. "Jones… Ianto Jones. It's a pleasure to meet you, Jack."

Jack felt a surge of warmth wash over him as they shook hands, and it was with a surprising feeling of reluctance that he finally withdrew his hand from the other man's grasp. The way that Ianto had said his name in his lilting Welsh accent, drawing out the vowel, was unlike anything he'd heard before. Jack's single syllable name usually sounded harsh to his ears when spoken by other people, but in Ianto's dulcet tones, it sounded beautiful and almost sensual.

Shaking himself mentally, Jack smiled at the other man. "Yan-toe," he said slowly, trying out the unusual name in his distinctive American accent. "The pleasure is all mine."

Jack widened his smile. "So, let's get my suit underway shall we?"

Ianto gave him a brief smile in return and reached for his measuring tape.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone for the amazing response on the first chapter. Hope you enjoy this one too. Thanks as always to my patient and talented beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

It was almost an hour and a half later when Jack said farewell to Ianto and departed from the small, unassuming tailoring shop.

They'd discussed the style of his new suit at length, with Ianto showing him numerous photographs while explaining the pros and cons of various options. Finally, they'd agreed on a classically styled suit with a contemporary update, featuring slightly narrower lapels, a clean-cut, two-button, tailored jacket, and more tapered, fitted trousers. Ianto had seemed pleased with the selection, assuring Jack that the style would be flattering for his height and build.

After deciding on the style for the pockets, Ianto had shown him a wide selection of fabrics. Jack had finally decided on a sumptuous wool and cashmere blend in a warm, medium-grey. The young tailor had explained that it was a highly versatile selection, and he'd proven his point by pairing the fabric sample with a wide range of shirt and tie combinations. Jack already had a darker grey suit along with a couple of navy ones, so he was more the happy to go with something a little different.

For Jack, the best and worst part of the process had been the measuring up stage. Ianto had measured him with fastidious precision from head to toe. While Ianto had been a consummate professional, Jack had struggled to keep his reaction to the close physical presence of the other man in check. It had been especially difficult when Ianto's warm breath had ghosted over his skin as he'd reached around Jack's shoulders and chest, the man's complex, alluring, masculine scent filling Jack's nostrils. The couple of times that Ianto's hand had brushed perilously close to Jack's crotch hadn't been easy either. He'd had to bite down on his tongue several times, earning him several bemused looks from the young man.

It had taken almost all of Jack's resolve not to make any flirtatious comments about the more innovative uses of a measuring tape. He was fairly certain the young tailor wouldn't have appreciated his lewd suggestions.

Ianto had explained that Jack would need to return for two fittings, and then a third and final time to collect the completed suit. He'd told Jack to expect the entire process to take around two weeks depending on how busy he was with work for his other customers. Jack had paid a deposit, given Ianto his mobile phone number, and they'd parted company.

As Jack walked down the street to his car, he found himself eagerly looking forward to his new suit. Even more so, he was relishing the opportunity to see the fastidious and intriguing young Welshman again.

He knew that it was ridiculous to consider that anything might happen between them. Ianto was too young, and although Jack thought that Ianto had looked at him with curious interest several times, he had no way of knowing if Ianto was even interested in men.

Jack could allow himself to dream though, and it wasn't often that he met someone with whom he was so immediately fascinated. He wondered if perhaps they might become friends. He had the impression that Ianto was rather sad and lonely, and spending day after day on his own in a shop, which seemed trapped in a bygone era, surely wasn't helping his situation.

Perhaps Ianto could use a friend, Jack thought. As he recalled the younger man's gentle but wary smile, his melancholy eyes and his beautiful, deep voice, Jack decided he'd very much like to explore that possibility.

###

Ianto stood at the counter and watched as Jack gave him a friendly wave before leaving the shop. He continued to stare at the doorway for a minute or two, feeling unsettled as an unfamiliar sensation twisted in his stomach.

The brash American was unlike anyone he'd met before. There was no denying that Jack was insanely good-looking; the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome, with sparkling, mischievous blue eyes and a devastating smile. He'd thought that Jack was somewhat of an obnoxious git at first, but he'd soon found the older man had a confidence and easy-going nature that was strangely disarming and infectious.

Despite himself, Ianto had quickly warmed to the man's flirtatious charm and found that he'd enjoyed taking Jack through the suit selection process. Jack had been surprisingly attentive, listening carefully and showing interest and an eye for detail with everything Ianto had shown him. Ianto took his work seriously, and he was pleased that Jack seemed wholly committed to the project.

While measuring the older man, much to his mortification, Ianto had felt the almost irresistible urge to push Jack up against the nearest wall and kiss him until they were both gasping for breath. He hoped that he'd managed to hide his rebellious libido from the other man's notice.

Ianto prided himself on his professionalism and emotional reserve. It would show an inexcusable lack of dignity to throw himself at some random bloke who just happened to walk into his shop, no matter how ridiculously attractive the man was. He'd never allow something like that to happen, he assured himself resolutely. Besides, the last thing he needed was to become involved with a man who was probably the best part of ten years his senior. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to be involved with a man, regardless of their age. Not after his last experience. He shuddered as he firmly pushed those disturbing memories back into the dark recesses of his mind.

The American's appearance was an unexpected treat. It had become rare for Ianto to have the opportunity to create a new suit from scratch, especially for a man who was closer to his own age. Most of his work these days was simple alterations, and while it kept the business going, it wasn't particularly challenging. Ianto liked a challenge. He liked to stretch his abilities and to prove himself. It felt like a criminal waste of the skills his father had bestowed upon him to do such menial work. But, like many other creative professions and their highly skilled artisans, fine tailoring was quickly being overthrown by mass production.

Not for the first time, he wondered about the decisions he'd made, or more to the point, the lack of decisions. He sometimes wondered if he'd allowed himself to be drawn to a path that wasn't actually what he wanted – if he'd become trapped in a life that wasn't of his own choosing.

Nonetheless, he'd been granted a welcome reprieve from the mindless tedium of his usual work. A rare smile tugged at the normally down-turned corners of his mouth. For the first time in what seemed like a very long while, he had a task to challenge him. With a sense of determination, he decided that Jack's new suit would be the finest piece of tailoring he'd ever created.

###

It was Thursday afternoon of the following week when Jack returned to Ianto's shop. He was ostensibly on his lunch break, but after a long morning of pouring over a new manuscript, he'd needed a respite. The timing of Ianto's call had been perfect.

Jack had recently been promoted to the position of assistant editor of Cardiff-based Torchwood Publishing. It was a small, independent publishing house with a focus on promoting talented, local authors. Jack's friend and colleague, John Smith, currently occupied the position of editorial director. Jack loved his job, and he liked to think he was pretty damn good at it. They were a small but dedicated team, and Jack admired the company's efforts and willingness to take risks with new authors. It was a company he admired and felt proud to work for. He enjoyed the camaraderie of the team, and he couldn't imagine working for a larger publishing firm that cared about nothing but the bottom line.

Jack was happy with his career and with living in Cardiff, but his personal life was far less successful. With an abysmal track record of half-hearted relationships, he'd given up on finding that elusive someone special, and was instead putting his efforts into a more attainable goal. He'd recently purchased his first home; a run-down terrace on the outer edge of Splott (or 'Sploe' as the real estate agents liked to pronounce it, much to his amusement), bordering Cardiff Bay. It had needed complete modernisation, and he was still waiting for the major work to be completed by his contractors. Then he could get started on the more cosmetic refurbishments. The house wasn't yet habitable, but he hoped that it wouldn't be too much longer before he'd be able to move in. In the meantime, he continued to live in comfortable and modern, but somewhat soulless, flat in Grangetown. It had been his home for the past three years since he'd escaped from the relentless bustle of London.

Pushing open the door, Jack entered the shop. Ianto was standing at the counter, his head down while he wrote on a notepad. He looked up and smiled politely as Jack strolled towards him.

"Afternoon, Jack."

"Hey, Ianto." Jack grinned widely while roaming his eyes admiringly over the young tailor. Ianto was as immaculately dressed and groomed as the first time they'd met.

Jack rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I've been looking forward to this," he said with undisguised enthusiasm.

Ianto raised an eyebrow as he placed his pen down neatly on the counter. "I'd better not keep you waiting any longer then."

He walked briskly through the curtain at the back and returned a moment later, carefully carrying a pair of suit trousers and a jacket. Jack eyed them eagerly and then wondered why he was so excited about what was, after all, simply a new suit, no matter how finely tailored.

"This is just a shell of the final suit at the moment." Ianto passed the suit trousers to Jack. "Be careful, it's only loosely stitched together. I need to check the cut and make sure all the seams are correct."

Ianto gestured towards the pair of changing cubicles in the back corner of the shop. "If you can put the trousers on, and then I'll help you with the jacket."

"Right. I'll just be a minute," Jack said and retreated to do as he'd been instructed.

A few minutes later, Jack was standing in front of a full-length mirror on the side wall scrutinising his new trousers as Ianto carefully eased the jacket onto his shoulders. Ianto moved around him, fussily tugging at the material with long, agile fingers and examining every aspect with a critical eye, his brow furrowed slightly in concentration. He alternated between judiciously pinning the fabric and writing neatly in a small notebook as he worked.

"Please stand still, Jack," Ianto admonished from where he was kneeling in front of Jack while Jack twisted back and forth, trying to get a good look at himself from every angle.

"Ianto, does my butt look fat?" Jack asked in a plaintive tone of voice as he tried to keep a straight face. The urge to ruffle the young man's stoic demeanor was just too tempting to resist.

He peered into the mirror and tried to get a better look at his backside.

"No," Ianto replied in a curt tone as he continued to work.

"Are you sure? I can't see properly."

Looking down, Jack noticed a hint of a smirk playing over Ianto's lips before it quickly disappeared behind his usual impassive mask. "You have a very handsome backside, sir."

"Really?" Jack asked shamelessly, wondering if Ianto had intended his use of the word 'sir' to sound quite so suggestive.

"Absolutely." Ianto cleared his throat. "Very, erm… pert. I'm sure it's greatly admired by many."

Jack grinned down at him and winked, delighted by Ianto's dry retort. The young Welshman was really quite adorable. Ianto quickly glanced up and then ducked his head. Jack noted a definite tinge of pink blooming across the younger man's cheeks.

"I really like this material and the colour," Jack said as he continued to watch both himself and Ianto in the mirror.

"Me too," Ianto muttered in a distracted tone as he worked. "It's quite flattering on you."

After a further few minutes of fluttering about, Ianto finally seemed satisfied. He stepped back, arms folded across his chest and looked steadily at Jack's reflection in the mirror. "What do you think, Jack?"

Jack wasn't especially modest about his physical attributes, but he thought he had probably never looked better. Even in its unfinished state, the sharp lines of the suit seemed to accentuate his height, giving him a sleek, dashing appearance. He felt confident that the finished article would look superb. He suspected, with a touch of despair, that he'd never be satisfied with his other suits after he started wearing this masterpiece.

He turned and beamed at Ianto. "I love it," he exclaimed. "You're a tailoring marvel, Ianto. I can't wait to see the finished product."

"Er… thank you," Ianto mumbled, looking a bit flustered from Jack's praise.

He moved forward and gently eased the jacket from Jack's shoulders. "I'm going to need to adjust a few of the seams," he said conversationally as he spread the jacket out over the counter and proceeded to make some further notes.

Jack nodded. "I'll just go and get changed."

Jack changed back into his clothes and grimaced at how inferior his current suit felt by comparison. It seemed to merely hang on his well-proportioned physique rather than enhance it. He idly wondered if Ianto's tailoring sensibilities were offended by the sight of it. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, and Ianto seemed to be far too polite to actually say anything openly derogative. He had no doubt that Ianto wouldn't be caught dead wearing such a clearly inferior garment.

Moving across to the counter, Jack handed the trousers to the young tailor and smiled. "You'll call again when you want me back for the final fitting?"

"Yes, of course." Ianto looked up at Jack after putting the trousers down next to the jacket. "Should be around the middle of next week."

"Great." Jack paused and took a deep breath. "Um, so I was thinking of grabbing a coffee before I head back to work. Feel like taking a break and joining me?"

Ianto's eyebrows shot up, and he looked almost shocked by the suggestion. "Oh… um, no… I mean… I can't," he stammered.

Jack tried not to show his disappointment. "It's okay if you don't want to," he said quickly. "I just thought…"

"No, it's not..." Ianto shook his head. "I've got a customer coming in to pick-up some alternations. I can't leave the shop at the moment."

"Okay. Well, how about tomorrow?" Jack asked, hoping he didn't sound too eager but certain that he was failing spectacularly. "I don't work that far from here and I'm always looking for an excuse to escape from the office for a while."

Jack inwardly cringed as soon as the words had tumbled out of his mouth, and wondered when he'd become so socially inept. He was just relieved that he wasn't trying to ask the young Welshman out on an actual date. A simple invitation for a cup of coffee was proving to be quite enough of a challenge.

Ianto frowned. "What time?" he asked cautiously.

"Say around two?" Jack suggested.

"All right," Ianto agreed after a moments pause. "Should I meet you somewhere, or…" he trailed off uncertainly with a look of confusion.

Jack smiled reassuringly, surprised by how pleased he was that Ianto had accepted. "How about I just swing by here and pick you up? We can go somewhere nearby."

"Oh… er... okay," Ianto said, offering a small, hesitant smile in return.

"Well, I should get going." Jack reluctantly moved towards the door. "Thanks for everything with the suit. See you tomorrow, Ianto."

"Goodbye, Jack," Ianto called after him as Jack disappeared out through the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Slightly early post this week. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Thanks as always to my brilliant beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

Ianto looked at his watch for what must have been at least the tenth time in five minutes. He groaned under his breath in frustration. He was being completely ridiculous.

He felt unaccountably nervous as two o'clock rapidly approached. After a restless night, he'd worked diligently on Jack's suit all morning, thus ensuring that the source of his discomfort remained firmly at the forefront of his thoughts. That certainly hadn't done anything to help alleviate his nerves, he thought ruefully.

Since his father's death, Ianto had led a very insular existence. He'd always felt like a misfit and an outcast, never seeming to really belong. He'd had his share of bullying and teasing at school, he'd struggled to make friends, and for a while he'd fallen in with the wrong crowd, culminating in a conviction for shoplifting. He'd never forget the look of disappointment in his father's eyes.

Those feelings of disassociation had intensified in recent times. He didn't think he was anti-social as such, but he'd never seemed to develop the skills required to actually connect with other people. Instead he'd fabricated a facade of detached politeness to hide his deeply entrenched insecurities. He didn't date or socialise, and his few remaining friends from school, if he could even call them that, had moved on with their lives. He'd been left behind. His happiest times had been the long hours spent with his father, studiously learning to become a tailor. He'd adored his father, admiring his quiet, gentle, compassionate nature and occasional dry wit. Losing him so suddenly and so soon felt like a gaping wound in his heart that would never heal.

He wasn't sure why he'd agreed to Jack's invitation. The older man had caught him off-guard, and he wondered if his acceptance had been a case of simple vanity. It wasn't as if he regularly received offers to socialise from handsome, charming, older men. He would have been lying if he'd said that he hadn't been at least a little bit flattered. The problem was that, despite himself, he genuinely liked Jack. He also couldn't deny that he found Jack very attractive. He just couldn't figure out why someone like Jack would waste time on him. As far as Ianto could tell, they were worlds apart in every possible way.

Except, perhaps, for one rather important way... he couldn't be sure about that though, and it was quite possible that Jack was simply being friendly in a purely platonic manner. The worst possible scenario was that Jack felt sorry for him; that he saw Ianto as some poor kid who deserved a token gesture of kindness. Jack was also his client, and Ianto's innate sense of professionalism was at odds with the idea of interacting with the older man in an informal setting. If for some reason Jack wasn't happy with his new suit, it could make things quite awkward.

With a deep sigh, Ianto involuntarily lifted his hand and straightened his tie. He gazed critically around the immaculately neat shop, looking for a distraction, hoping to find something to clean or tidy. He had nothing to worry about, he reminded himself. They'd have a cup of coffee together, Jack would discover that Ianto was unworthy of his attention, and that would be the end of it. He would complete Jack's suit, and their paths would never cross again.

It was at that moment the man in question pushed open the door, smiling broadly as he caught sight of him, projecting charm and confidence with his bright blue eyes, heart-stopping dimples, and perfect, white teeth.

Ianto felt his breath catch as the door closed and Jack strolled towards the counter where he was standing. He firmly decided that it should be illegal for anyone to walk around looking so gorgeous.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Jones," Jack drawled in his pronounced accent, smile still securely in place. "Ready to escape?"

"Hello, Jack." Ianto didn't quite manage to stop the corners of his mouth from pulling upwards, much to his chagrin. "Yep. Let's go."

They ended up at Myfanwy's, a bakery and coffee shop a couple of blocks from Ianto's premises. The conversation had been stilted as they'd walked, with Jack making small talk, asking about the business and how Ianto's day was going. Ianto had begun to feel slightly panicked, as Jack had chatted away, wondering what they would find to talk about once the usual small talk was exhausted.

They chose a small table in a corner at the back of the quaint shop. The lunchtime rush had passed and it was fairly quiet, with only a few of the other tables occupied.

Ianto took a tentative sip from his cup and found the coffee was passable. He glanced furtively up at Jack, finding it frustratingly difficult to keep his eyes off him. The older man was intriguing, and Ianto was curious to learn more about him. But he was still puzzled as to why Jack was there. He couldn't imagine what Jack could find appealing about him, and the American surely had better things to do with his time than drink coffee with his tailor.

"Hmm," Jack murmured as he took a sip from his cappuccino. He gestured towards the chocolate donut on the plate in front of him, a sizable chunk of which he'd already devoured. "Sure you don't want one?"

"Positive." Ianto took a sip of coffee. "I just had lunch a little while ago."

Jack pushed the plate towards Ianto. "Just try a bite then. It's really good."

Ianto was about to decline, but as his eyes met Jack's intent gaze, he decided it would be more polite to just indulge the older man. He carefully tore off a small piece of the donut and popped it into his mouth. Jack grinned at him triumphantly.

"Mmm… very nice," Ianto agreed, licking his lips and picking up his cup again.

"Have some more," Jack suggested.

Ianto shook his head and gently pushed the plate back towards Jack with his free hand. "No, I'm fine. Thanks."

Jack nodded and took another bite. "So, how old are you, Ianto? I've been trying to figure it out."

Ianto looked up from his cup in surprise. It was an innocent enough question he supposed, but it made him feel uncomfortable. "That's a rather direct question."

Jack shrugged. "Well, how old do you think I am?"

Ianto stared at Jack for a moment, pretending to carefully consider the question. "Thirty-five," he replied evenly, trying his best to hold his features in an impassive mask.

"Hey! I don't look that old." Jack looked outraged, and then he frowned. "Do I?"

Ianto quirked an eyebrow, amused by Jack's reaction. "No, of course not." He decided to take pity on him. "Twenty-eight?"

"Close. I'm twenty-nine. Thirty next March." Jack leaned forward and looked at him pleadingly. "So, are you going to tell me?"

Ianto sighed and put his cup down. He was both amused and annoyed by Jack's tenacity. "Oh, all right. I'm twenty. I'll be twenty-one in August." He wondered what age Jack had thought he was. "Does that surprise you?"

Jack shook his head. "No, that's about what I thought. I just couldn't decide if you're older than you look. What date's your birthday?"

"Um, the nineteenth."

"I'll have to remember that so I can send you a card." Jack smiled. "Big celebration planned?"

"No," Ianto mumbled, averting his eyes from Jack as the familiar pain threatened to resurface. He took a deep breath. "My mum died a few years ago. Now dad's gone too…" he trailed off, feeling his throat constrict.

Jack reached forward and rested his hand gently over Ianto's. Ianto looked up sharply, shocked by the unexpected and intimate gesture.

"I'm sorry," Jack said softly, squeezing his hand. "I lost my dad too a few years ago. It was… well, it was a really terrible time to put it mildly. It took me a long time to get over it."

Ianto just nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak. Looking down at where Jack's hand rested over his own, he focused on the pleasant sensation. It felt nice to just have that moment of contact with another person, and Jack's hand was warm and gentle, and strangely comforting.

He savoured the sensation for a moment, but then feeling conspicuous, he eased his hand away and pushed it down between his knees. He took a sip of his coffee, glancing up at Jack who was looking at him with concern.

"I know we've only just met," Jack said. "But any time you want someone to talk to… well, you've got my phone number. Feel free to use it anytime, okay?"

"Um... thanks," Ianto mumbled, surprised by the unexpected gesture. Jack's eyes were compassionate, and his tone was nothing but sincere. Even though he doubted he would ever take Jack up on his offer, he was touched by Jack's kindness.

Ianto took a deep breath to steady himself. He looked back at Jack and attempted a feeble smile. "You haven't told me what you do or where you work," he said, grasping for something less upsetting to talk about.

"I haven't have I?" Jack chuckled. "That's not like me at all. Usually people can't shut me up. I'm an editor at Torchwood Publishing. Well, assistant editor, actually."

"Really?" Ianto looked at Jack in surprise. "Novels or non-fiction?"

"Novels, mostly. It's an interesting job, and it's a great company to work for. We're a small publishing house, but we try to do a lot of work to encourage new authors." Jack looked at Ianto curiously and grinned. "You seem surprised. What did you think I do?"

"Oh, I dunno," Ianto mused, giving Jack a cheeky smile. "Undercover CIA agent, maybe?"

Jack laughed. "Infiltrating the nefarious world of Cardiff's black-market haberdashery? Actually, that could make a great storyline for a book."

"I tend to have a slightly overactive imagination," Ianto admitted, still smiling as he sipped his coffee.

"You're not too disappointed?" Jack asked in a teasing tone.

"No, not at all." Ianto shook his head a little. "It sounds fascinating, actually."

"And you? Have you always wanted to be a tailor?" Jack asked, popping the rest of the donut into his mouth.

Ianto shrugged. He wasn't sure how to answer that question. He loved suits, and he found the process of creating a suit from nothing more than a stretch of finely woven fabric very satisfying. But it seemed like he'd never seriously considered anything else, and in a way, it had never really been a conscious choice on his part. His father had never pushed him, that hadn't been his way, but it just seemed to have been assumed that Ianto would follow in his footsteps.

"I suppose," Ianto replied hesitantly. "It's a family tradition, going back to my great-grandfather. It's up to me now to keep it going."

Jack frowned but nodded. "Well, I can't pretend to know anything about the tailoring business, but you're very talented."

"Thanks, Jack."

Ianto was once again both flattered and embarrassed by Jack's praise. He ducked his head a little and stared down into his coffee cup. He wasn't used to being complemented on his work. He'd always believed that the reward was in the satisfaction of a job well done. Nonetheless, it felt nice to have his skills recognised and appreciated.

He looked up at Jack again and the older man just smiled at him. Ianto grappled for something else to talk about. "Were you born in America?"

"No, Scotland actually," Jack replied. "My mom is Scottish, my dad was American. I grew up mostly in the States though, so the accent stuck."

Ianto nodded. "I like it... your accent."

"I like yours too." Jack grinned. "All those beautiful Welsh vowels." He paused for a moment. "So, do you have a girlfriend? Or maybe a boyfriend?" he asked casually. "A dashing young man like you… they must be lining up around the block."

Ianto blinked. He wondered if Jack was having a go, but the other man's expression seemed genuine, his striking blue eyes gazing at him with intense curiosity. "No. There's no-one. Um… you?"

"Nope. There was someone for a while, but he moved up to London for his work. It was hardly a great romance, but it wasn't bad for a while. I miss him sometimes… well, not him so much, but I miss having company." Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I don't seem to have much luck with relationships. Haven't found the right person I guess."

Ianto had to fiercely push down the spark of hope born from discovering that Jack was both unattached and liked men. There had been a hint of wistfulness in Jack's voice, and Ianto was surprised to realise that the older man might be lonely. He'd never considered the possibility that someone like Jack could be lacking for companionship. In hindsight, he realised that had been a ridiculous assumption. Perhaps that's why he and Jack were here. Jack just wanted some company.

"So, um… you're… gay? Or bisexual?" Ianto asked hesitantly, keeping his voice low. When Jack didn't immediately answer, he was worried he'd offended the other man. Jack's directness seemed to be rubbing off on him. "Sorry, if that's too personal…"

Jack shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. "It's fine, Ianto. I haven't got anything to hide." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I was just trying to figure out how to answer. I suppose bisexual is as good a description as any. I don't really think about it like that though. If I like someone, it doesn't matter whether they're male or female. Labels are convenient at times, but sexuality and emotions… love… they're too complex to slot into neat little categories. At least, for me."

Ianto nodded. He couldn't help but admire the other man's honesty. Jack's viewpoint was refreshing and unusual, at least to him. Ianto had spent so much effort on trying to define his sexuality, trying to make sense of it all and figure out what he was. He envied Jack's openness and how comfortable he seemed to be with himself. He wished he could be more like that.

Jack looked at him curiously. "Having said that, if I'm being completely honest, I'd have to say I prefer men." He chuckled slightly. "Maybe that's just because the female mind continues to mystify me. But I've been with women too."

"I… I think I might be the same… bisexual, I mean. It took me a while to figure it out. Even longer to accept it." Ianto looked cautiously into Jack's eyes and wondered if he'd imagined a flicker of hope.

"It can take a lot of soul searching," Jack said, after a moment. "Sadly, some people battle with it their whole lives." He smiled reassuringly. "If you've come to terms with that side of yourself at your age, I think you're doing pretty damn well."

"I suppose." Ianto wasn't quite sure if he entirely agreed with Jack's assessment.

In truth, he'd never really thought about it that way. He'd been confused for so long, and he'd never had anyone to talk to about it. He thought that his father might have suspected, but it wasn't something they'd ever discussed. He regretted that now. As scared as he'd have been to open up, he thought that his father might have understood. Jack's forthright manner was surprising. It was comforting to be able to talk to someone and not feel like he had to completely hide himself.

"What is it?" Jack asked, breaking Ianto out of his reverie.

Ianto shook his head in bemusement. "I've never told anyone that before," he admitted awkwardly. "There's never been anyone I could talk to."

Jack smiled at him gently. "Well, maybe that's changed now?"

"Yeah, maybe." Ianto felt a small but genuine smile play across his lips. He'd never been much of a talker, but he liked the idea that there was someone he could talk to.

With their coffees finished, Ianto glanced down at his watch and cleared this throat. "I should be getting back to work."

Jack sighed and nodded. "I need to be getting back too," he said, standing up. "I'll walk back with you."

Ianto reached for his wallet as he rose to his feet. "Wait, I need to pay you for my coffee."

Jack reached out and touched his arm. "How about you get the bill next time?"

Ianto looked down at where Jack's hand was lightly resting on his forearm. He looked back up at Jack in surprise. "All right."

Jack grinned and ushered him forward. "Come on, let's get you back then. You've got my suit to finish."

Ianto couldn't help rolling his eyes in an exaggerated manner at Jack, earning himself a laugh in return. He loved the sound of Jack's laugh. It was so completely free and uninhibited. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed like that. Perhaps he never truly had.

They made their way back to his shop with Jack chatting away about nothing in particular. Ianto reflected that their outing had gone much better than he'd expected. He'd actually enjoyed himself, and Jack was good company. However, he refused to consider the possibility of anything happening between them. Their age difference was an insurmountable obstacle, and while Jack had been charming, attentive and mildly flirtatious, he was probably like that with everyone.

But perhaps they could become friends. It surprised Ianto to realise that the idea of having Jack Harkness as a friend wasn't in the least bit unappealing.


	4. Chapter 4

I've drifted a bit from my posting schedule but hopefully no-one will mind getting another chapter earlier than planned. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone for giving the story a go and for the reviews so far. I really appreciate the encouragement and feedback. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

It was early Wednesday afternoon of the following week when Jack arrived at Ianto's shop again. It was his second and final fitting before his completed suit would be ready.

After exchanging greetings, Jack once again donned his new suit, and Ianto fussed around him, occasionally murmuring to himself as he worked. Eventually he stepped back, and his eyes roamed critically over the length of Jack's suit-clad body.

"Do I pass inspection?" Jack asked with a grin as he spun around dramatically in front of the mirror.

"Yes... very smart," Ianto replied.

Jack turned and met the other man's studious gaze. "Come on, Ianto. Admit it. I look gorgeous."

"Modesty really isn't one of your strong points is it, Jack?" Ianto retorted dryly, his eyebrow twitching upwards.

With a laugh, Jack took a step closer to Ianto and smiled at him. "I was taught to always tell the truth."

He took another step closer, keeping his gaze locked on Ianto's captivating blue eyes. Ianto blinked and visibly swallowed. "I love the suit," Jack said sincerely. "Thank you."

"Ah… you're welcome, Jack," Ianto muttered, straightening his tie and then tugging at the bottom of his waistcoat. "I'm glad you like it."

They stared at each other for a long moment. It took all of Jack's admittedly limited self-restraint not to take another step forward and pull Ianto into his arms. Tearing his eyes away reluctantly, he stepped back towards the mirror.

He took a deep breath and tried to suppress the warm rush of desire surging through him. Squaring his shoulders, he eyed himself critically one more time. The suit was stunning, and it fitted him like a glove. While Ianto had explained that it wasn't quite finished yet, Jack thought it already looked perfect.

The young tailor had featured heavily in Jack's thoughts since they'd gone out together for coffee. He'd been looking forward to seeing Ianto again and having an opportunity to spend some more time with him. He'd thoroughly enjoyed their time together so far, and he'd been elated to discover that Ianto was both unattached and potentially interested in men. Yet, Ianto seemed somewhat skittish. Jack liked a challenge, but he realised that if he wanted to pursue Ianto, he'd have to tread carefully. If he came on too strong, he might ruin his chances. Somehow he knew this was something he didn't want to risk screwing up.

There was no denying he was intensely attracted to the Welshman, and the young tailor had quickly become the singular focus of his fantasies, particularly during the lonely hours of the night when sleep was elusive. More than once, he'd been stunned to find himself murmuring Ianto's name, his thoughts consumed with what might be hidden beneath those impeccably tailored suits as he slipped over the edge. Just the mere thought of Ianto's soft, pink lips coming into contact with his own was enough to heavily arouse him.

However, his thoughts about Ianto went beyond simple lust. His heart ached for the young man's situation. Losing his father had obviously devastated him, yet he was valiantly carrying on the family business on his own. He supposed it was the only thing that Ianto knew how to do, and he'd perhaps never considered a different path. It was clear that Ianto was intensely proud and self-reliant, but beyond the polite, stoic mask, Jack suspected that Ianto was profoundly lonely and unhappy.

Ianto stepped up behind him and deftly slipped the jacket off his shoulders. "You can get changed now, Jack," he said as he put the jacket onto a hanger.

Jack nodded and retreated to the changing cubicle, once again disappointed to be exchanging the beautiful new suit for the inferior one he'd chosen to wear that morning.

Returning to the front of the shop, he passed the suit trousers to Ianto and was just about to take a chance and ask the other man if he'd like to meet after work for a drink, when Ianto spoke first.

"I was thinking about making some coffee," Ianto said hesitantly, glancing at the curtain that led through to the back of the shop. "Would you like a cup? If you don't have to get back to work right away that is."

Jack grinned at him in delight. "I'd love a coffee, Ianto."

Ianto smiled back and moving to the back wall, he held the curtain aside and ushered Jack through.

"So this is where the tailoring magic happens?" Jack asked as he looked around the previously concealed space with interest.

It wasn't a large area. Jack estimated that it was only about a third of the size of the total floor space of the premises. It was dominated by a large, square, wooden table, which Jack assumed was used primarily for the laying out and cutting of material. Next to it were two somewhat dated looking sewing machines, each on their own separate wooden desks. Almost every square inch of available wall space was filled with dark timber shelving and drawers of all shapes and sizes, all filled with everything from huge bolts of fabric, glass jars full of buttons, to large reels of cotton. A substantial skylight suffused the area with natural light, while various antique light fittings and lamps were present to provide additional illumination. At a glance, the space appeared cluttered, mainly due to its small size, but everything was neatly and precisely organised, and Jack could see elegant handwritten labels on all the drawers, jars, boxes, and various other containers.

Once again, Jack felt like he'd stepped back in time. However, he could clearly see that this was the workshop of a true artisan, and he imagined Ianto and his father working here side-by-side, a younger Ianto studying the craft with intense dedication. Jack was enthralled.

"Yep," Ianto replied as he moved over to a compact kitchen area against the far wall. It consisted of little more than a sink, small refrigerator, electric kettle, and some basic coffee making apparatus. "Take a seat, Jack, while I make the coffee. Do you take milk or sugar?"

"No sugar, and black's fine, thanks."

Ianto nodded, and Jack sat down on the nearest chair at the large table. He watched Ianto adeptly prepare two cups of coffee with obviously well-practiced precision, carefully grinding the beans and filling a small cafetière. Jack was beginning to realise that Ianto didn't believe in taking short-cuts for convenience sake. He idly wondered with amusement if instant coffee had ever breached Ianto's lips.

"What are you smiling about?" Ianto asked, his eyes narrowing as he carried the two white cups and saucers over to the table and put one down in front of Jack. Putting down his own, he settled himself on a chair at the other side of the table.

"Oh, nothing important," Jack said, realising he'd been caught. "Just admiring the view."

Ianto lifted an eyebrow. "So, what do you do when you're not editing books and flirting with your tailor?" he asked dryly.

Jack laughed. "Oh, you know… this and that. Actually, I'm renovating a house at the moment. Just a little place on the outskirts of Splott, close to the bay area. I've been renting up until now. Anyway, that's to say, I bought a house, and I'm paying people to fix it up for me. It was in a bit of a state. It pretty much needed everything replaced and updated."

"That must be exciting," Ianto said, sounding genuinely interested. "What sort of house is it?"

"Nothing special," Jack replied with shrug. "Just a fairly standard terrace. Two bedrooms. The rooms are good sizes though, and the location is good. It should be a decent investment. Even with the cost of the refurbishments, it's not too bad. Well within my budget, anyway."

Ianto nodded as Jack took a sip of coffee. "Wow! This coffee is spectacular." Jack quickly took another sip and groaned with appreciation.

"It's one of my talents," Ianto said, a smirk teasing his mouth as he sipped from his own cup.

"One of many it seems," Jack observed, not quite managing to resist grinning suggestively. "Master tailor… coffee god… any others I should know about?"

"That would be telling, Jack," Ianto replied, the glimmer in his eyes betraying the seriousness of his expression.

Jack very nearly choked on his coffee, his mind immediately filling with several lewd possibilities. With each passing moment, he was becoming more enamoured with this unusual young man, and they hadn't shared so much as a kiss yet. "Sorry," he mumbled, clearing his throat.

Ianto just continued to drink his coffee as he gazed at Jack steadily, his impassive expression giving nothing away.

"So, where do you live?" Jack asked conversationally, having recovered his composure.

"I rent a flat in Roath. It's not much, but it's enough for me." Ianto shrugged slightly. "And it's a short commute."

Jack nodded absently as he suddenly had an idea. "Right, well that's convenient. Um… when do you think I'll be able to collect the suit?"

Ianto looked slightly startled by the sudden change of subject. "Oh, I should have it ready by Friday. There's not much more to do really."

"Great. So, I was wondering… are you doing anything on Saturday?"

Ianto frowned. "I work on Saturdays."

"Yes, of course," Jack said hurriedly. "But you could finish up a bit early if you wanted to?"

"I suppose," Ianto said cautiously. "Why?"

"Well, I was just thinking… You could come and have a look at the house on Saturday after work. I could really use a discerning eye to help with choosing some paint colours. And you could bring the suit with you. I can pay for it today before I go. Afterwards, we could go back to my place, get some takeaway... maybe watch a movie?" Jack gave Ianto what he hoped was his best winning smile.

The furrow between Ianto's eyebrows deepened. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Jack hesitated. Ianto was frustratingly unreadable. He wasn't sure if the younger man was pleased or horrified by the prospect. "Sure, if you like," he replied carefully. "Obviously it wouldn't be a proper date, like dressing up and going out to a restaurant. If you prefer, just think of it as two friends hanging out."

Ianto just continued to look at him, and Jack groaned inwardly at his ineptness. "I'm actually not normally so terrible at this," he added self-deprecatingly.

A hint of a smile ghosted over Ianto's lips but he didn't immediately respond. "If you don't want to…" Jack hedged.

Ianto shook his head. "No, it's just…" He paused and chewed at his bottom lip for a moment. "Our age difference doesn't bother you?"

Jack took a moment to decide how to respond but then decided that he just needed to be honest. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it. But no, I don't see it as a problem. We're both adults, and you seem to be very mature and level-headed for someone your age." He chuckled wryly. "Hell, you're more mature than most people I know who are the same age as me or older. And that's including me."

Ianto nodded thoughtfully but remained silent.

"Does it bother you?" Jack asked, trying to keep any sign of disappointment from his voice. "Do you think I'm too old for you?"

"No," Ianto replied, shaking his head again. "More the other way around. That I'm too young for you."

Jack frowned in confusion. "Is there a difference?"

"I think so." Ianto glanced down and squirmed slightly in his chair. He looked back up at Jack with a nervous expression. "I don't have a very exciting life, Jack. What you see here, that's pretty much it. Compared to someone like you…" He trailed off and looked back down at the table.

Jack suddenly thought he understood. Ianto probably saw him as worldly and experienced. Compared to the younger man, Jack supposed that was true to a point. Ianto was perhaps thinking that he didn't have anything to offer, and despite hiding it exceptionally well, Jack suspected that the Welshman was quite insecure. The two of them probably weren't so different in that respect, Jack mused. He knew that he was good at presenting the illusion of self-confidence. It wasn't entirely an act, but it wasn't the entire truth either.

He wasn't sure what to say to reassure the younger man. Jack actually found Ianto's unassuming and quiet, gentle presence to be incredibly refreshing. There didn't seem to be anything disingenuous about his nature, unlike other people he'd been with in the past. Beneath Ianto's stoic demeanor and dry humour, Jack imagined there was a truly beautiful and sensitive soul. Ianto was unlike anyone he'd ever met before, and that only made him all the more fascinating and appealing in Jack's eyes.

Edging his chair closer to Ianto, Jack gently reached forward and took the other man's hand in his own. Ianto looked up sharply in surprise, but Jack was relieved that he didn't pull away.

"None of that matters, Ianto," Jack said quietly. "Not really. Experience doesn't necessarily equate to maturity or wisdom. And there's nothing about you I've seen that I haven't liked so far." He gave Ianto's hand an encouraging squeeze and then reluctantly let it go.

Ianto eyes widened almost imperceptibly but he gave Jack a small yet seemingly genuine smile. "I could finish up on Saturday at about four," he suggested.

Jack smiled at him warmly. "Perfect."


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again to everyone for all the reviews and encouragement. I'm still catching up on review replies, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting too long for the next chapter. Hope you like it! You might notice at the end that I've taken a liberty with the timeline compared to the real world - as the story begins late June, 2011 and this chapter occurs early July. Thanks as always to my amazing beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

Ianto completed the hand-stitching on the final button-hole of Jack's new suit and examined his workmanship with a critical eye. He'd created what he thought was an exceptionally fine looking suit, and he hoped his father would have been proud of his efforts. At the same time, he tried not to dwell on what his dad might have thought about him going on a sort-of-date with the male owner of the suit in question.

It was early Saturday afternoon, and he'd been in a state of nervous anticipation since Jack had suggested the date three days earlier. Jack continued to be a source of confusion. On the surface, he seemed brash and extroverted, projecting an air of indisputable self-confidence, almost bordering on arrogance. Yet beneath that flirtatious exterior, there seemed to be a kind and surprisingly gentle, sensitive man. But even more of a mystery was why Jack seemed to be interested in him of all people.

Ianto didn't consider himself to be immodest. He took pride in his appearance, and he thought that he was reasonably good-looking, albeit in a somewhat boyish, innocent, wide-eyed fashion. None of his features were particularly noteworthy, but he didn't think the overall package was unattractive to the average eye. He wasn't in Jack's league though. With his film-star good looks and easy-going nature, Jack could probably have just about anyone he set his sights on. Jack could undoubtedly find numerous people who were better looking and far more exciting and outgoing than Ianto could ever hope to be. He liked Jack, but he didn't know what the older man actually wanted from him, and he wasn't sure how much he was willing to offer in return.

It had been a slow day. By a quarter to four, with no sign of any further customers, and after expelling some of his nervous energy in a vigorous cleaning frenzy, he decided to finish up. He quickly changed into the casual clothes he'd brought with him, having agonised over the choice that morning. Deciding that he didn't want to look like he was trying too hard, he'd settled on jeans, a black t-shirt, a black and white striped button-down shirt, and a casual, black cotton jacket. Since he spent most of his time attired in suits, his selection of casual clothes was quite limited. He'd firmly refused to consider buying anything new for the occasion. He couldn't afford to buy new clothes anyway, and such an act would have spoken of a desperation to impress. That was something he was determined to avoid.

With everything in order, he sent a text message to Jack, letting him know that he was on his way to Splott. Then he collected the garment bag containing Jack's new suit and locked up the shop.

###

"Wow!" Jack's eyes swept over Ianto as he climbed out of his car and walked towards the older man. A wide grin spread across Jack's face. "I love the suits, but I'm loving the casual look too. You look incredible, Ianto."

Ianto, meanwhile, was completely preoccupied by the car Jack was casually leaning up against. It was a dark grey Audi TT Mark 2, a model that Ianto particularly admired. When he finally moved his attention to Jack, he felt a rush of warmth fill his cheeks from the intensity of Jack's gaze. He suddenly felt conspicuous and wondered if he was being fanciful in thinking that Jack was mentally undressing him.

"Er… thanks, Jack." His self-consciousness was somewhat tempered by Jack's flattery. He glanced back at Jack's car, hoping to divert his attention. "Very nice."

"Me or the car?"

"The car, of course," Ianto replied, only barely managing to keep a straight face.

"Hey, what about me?"

Ianto tore his gaze away from the sleek lines of the stunning car and looked at its owner appraisingly. Jack was dressed in slightly faded, snug fitting jeans, a dark blue t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. Jack looked good… really good. Jack's lower lip was pushed forwards in what Ianto thought looked suspiciously like a pout.

"Yeah, you're okay," Ianto said with a shrug, allowing an impish grin to pull at the corners of his mouth.

He idly wondered how this bantering rapport between them had developed so quickly. Ianto had always had a dry, slightly acerbic sense of humour, just like his father, but when his father had died, that part of Ianto had seemed to die too. It was only since meeting Jack that it had began to slowly resurface. The realisation was both joyous and painful.

Jack glared for a moment, but then the pout vanished and he grinned back. "You're not doing much for my ego here you know."

"I'm sure you'll survive," Ianto retorted, still grinning.

"I suppose I will," Jack said with a dramatic sigh. His expression turned more serious. He stepped away from the car and moved closer. "How are you, Ianto?"

Ianto nodded. "I'm fine, Jack. How are you?"

"I'm good. Better now you're here," Jack replied, causing Ianto to look at him with a degree of disbelief. He was still struggling with the concept that Jack could actually be attracted to him.

Jack's expression wavered with a degree of uncertainty. "I've been looking forward to seeing you again."

"Oh… er… me too." Ianto was surprised both by Jack's admission and his own. He'd been looking forward to seeing Jack again, far more than he was prepared to admit.

They stared at each other for a moment. Neither of them seemed to be willing to look away. Then Jack smiled and ushered Ianto towards the front door of the unassuming, brown brick, terrace house. "Come on. I'll give you the grand tour."

The house wasn't overly large, and it didn't take long for Jack to show him around. Upstairs there were two good sized bedrooms, a reasonably spacious bathroom, and a third, smaller bedroom that could probably only be used as a study or storage area. Downstairs consisted of a fairly narrow hallway and staircase, opening into a well-proportioned living room, which continued through into a second smaller living area or dining room. There was a surprisingly large kitchen area at the rear with an adjacent downstairs toilet. Jack had explained that he was waiting for the new kitchen to be installed, the old one having already been ripped out. Gleaming new French doors led out into a small, but neat, garden area, and there was a garage at the rear, backing out into the lane behind the property.

The house had a certain understated charm, and it reminded Ianto a little sadly of the house in Newport where he'd grown up. He wondered if someday he'd be able to move out of his small, shabby little flat and into something nicer like this. Unfortunately, with the way things were going, it seemed like little more than an unattainable dream.

"What do you think?" Jack asked as they arrived back in the living room.

"It's great, Jack," Ianto replied honestly. "It'll be brilliant when it's finished."

Jack nodded. "I think so too. Assuming it ever gets finished. Everything seems to take twice as long as it should."

"You'll get there," Ianto reassured him. "Apart from the kitchen, it's really just the cosmetic stuff you've got left to do."

Jack picked up a pile of paint swatches and brochures stacked up next to the wall. "That's where I could really use some help. Will you look at these with me? I need your discerning eye. I'm hopeless."

"I'm not sure how well the eye of a humble tailor translates to interior decorating." Ianto gave Jack a little self-deprecating shrug. "But I'll try my best."

Jack retrieved an old, worn blanket and they sat on the floor together for the next hour and a half, going through paint colours, along with some tiling and flooring options. Once they were done, Ianto hoped that he'd managed to reign in Jack's more garish ideas. He'd tried to convince Jack that a more neutral colour scheme throughout would maximise the sense of space, given that the house wasn't overly large.

Jack had seemed dubious at first, having indicated what seemed like an endless selection of colours for the various rooms, much to Ianto's horror. However, Jack seemed to genuinely value Ianto's advice, and Ianto felt appreciated. It was nice to feel useful and respected beyond the confines of the shop and his profession. They'd narrowed the selection down to a few of the more muted, inoffensive colours, and Ianto had suggested that Jack try each of the colours on a section of wall under natural light before deciding. They'd also narrowed down some carpet and tiling selections so that Jack could look at actual samples before making his final decisions.

Jack patted Ianto's knee and gave him an affectionate smile. "Thanks for helping me with this."

Ianto glanced down at where Jack had just touched him. He wondered if he was imagining the tingling sensation where the warmth of Jack's hand had reached his skin. "You're welcome, Jack," he said, smiling back at the other man. "It was fun."

"So, what do you fancy for dinner?" Jack asked, rising to his feet and reaching out his hand to tug Ianto up. "It's my treat, and since you've helped me with all this, you can decide if you like."

"I don't mind," Ianto replied. However, Jack didn't jump in with a suggestion as he'd hoped, seeming determined that Ianto should make the decision. "Chinese?" he suggested hesitantly.

"Great," Jack said with enthusiasm. "There's a decent place near the Plass. We'll drive our cars over there, pick up the food, then head back to my place… is that okay?"

"That's fine, Jack," Ianto agreed, keeping his features impassive and hoping that his nervousness wasn't too obvious.

###

Ianto stood beside Jack as he unlocked the front door of his upstairs flat and then waved Ianto inside. He was carefully carrying the bag containing Jack's new suit while Jack carried a huge bag of Chinese takeaway.

"You can hang the suit up there if you like." Jack nodded at the row of coat hooks attached to the wall by the door as he kicked off his shoes.

Having already removed his own shoes and lined them up neatly against the wall, Ianto hung the suit up on the furthest hook and then turned back towards Jack. The older man had put the bag of food down on the floor and was shrugging off his jacket.

They were standing close to each other, and a whiff of Jack's intoxicating, masculine scent reached Ianto's nose. He breathed in deeply. He'd been meaning to ask Jack what aftershave he used as he'd never encountered anything like it before. He considered that perhaps the aftershave itself was quite ordinary, but when imbued with something that was quintessentially unique to Jack, it became something far more alluring and otherworldly. As soon as the thought formed, he quickly admonished himself for being fanciful.

Jack's movements caught his attention, the older man's t-shirt stretching across the muscles of his chest as he succeeded in removing his jacket. Ianto was unable to tear his eyes away from the arousing sight. Jack reached forward and hung up the jacket, brushing up against him.

Something in Ianto snapped, and all of his carefully self-imposed restraint suddenly abandoned him. He spun Jack around and pushed him up against the opposite wall. Jack let out a started grunt of surprise, his eyes widening as Ianto began kissing him fiercely. Jack's lips felt even better than he'd imagined, and he increased the intensity of the kiss, pushing his tongue into Jack's inviting mouth and exploring eagerly.

When coherent thought finally started to return, Ianto was about to pull away and apologise. Just before he could act, Jack's hands moved up, one wrapping around the back of his neck, the other cradling his face. Jack moaned into his mouth and kissed him back with the same desperate enthusiasm. Jack's tongue slipped between his lips, and with a groan of pleasure emanating from deep in his throat, Ianto promptly dismissed all thoughts of stopping. Jack's warmth, taste, and scent had completely overwhelmed his senses.

Eventually they broke apart with a gasp, holding tightly onto each other and panting for air. Jack was looking at him with what seemed to be a mixture of surprise, awe, and delight. As Ianto studied the blue depths of Jack's eyes, he was astonished by his own ferocity and desperate need. He'd never kissed anyone like that before. He'd never imagined that kissing anyone could feel that good. He hadn't dared to imagine that Jack would want to kiss him back.

"Damn, that was one hell of a kiss," Jack exclaimed, still breathing hard. "Where did that come from?"

Ianto gave a slight shrug, not sure if he had an answer, or at least not one he was willing to fully admit. "I've been wanting to do that since the day we met."

"You have?" Jack asked, his eyebrows shooting upwards.

"Yeah," Ianto confirmed, lowering his eyes self-consciously.

Jack smiled softly. "Want to know something?"

Ianto looked up curiously and nodded.

"Me too," Jack said.

Before Ianto had time to process Jack's revelation, the older man had spun them around so that it was Ianto who was pressed up against the wall, and they began kissing furiously again.

###

Ianto was lost in thought as he sipped at the remainder of his glass of wine. They'd just finished eating their Chinese takeaway and successfully emptied a rather nice bottle of merlot. The food had been good, and they'd chatted amicably, but there seemed to be an unspoken tension in the air.

He didn't regret kissing Jack. On the contrary, he'd loved every moment of it, but he just wasn't sure what was meant to happen next. He didn't have much experience, and he'd never been on a date with a man before, even an informal one such as this. He wondered if he should just ask Jack what his expectations were, but he didn't want to do or say anything to remind the older man of his inexperience or the obvious disparity of their ages. Ianto felt more confident when he knew things, and it was his current lack of knowledge that was proving to be his undoing. He belatedly wondered if he should have done some research online about the rules of engagement when dating a man.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Jack said, cutting into his thoughts. He shifted to look at him curiously as he put his empty glass down on the coffee table in front of them.

Ianto sighed and decided that he'd just have to be honest. "It's just that… well, this is all a bit new to me."

"How do you mean?" Jack asked.

"I've never been on a date with another man before," Ianto admitted and then shook his head in frustration. "I'm not sure how any of this is supposed to work."

He looked down as Jack's hand settled over his knee and squeezed lightly.

"There aren't any rules, Ianto," Jack said in a gentle tone of voice. "I'm not expecting anything to happen. I just want to spend time with you. Get to know each other a little better. I thought you might want that too."

"I do," Ianto insisted.

"Well, that's good then." Jack smiled. "How about I open another bottle of wine and we watch a movie?"

"I've already had too much to drink," Ianto said, sighing again and resting back against Jack's comfortable, linen-upholstered sofa. He'd had a beer followed by a little more than half the bottle of wine. Jack hadn't drank very much, and Ianto's nervousness had caused him to consume more than his share. "I'm not going to be able to drive home. I'll have to call a taxi."

"You can stay here if you like," Jack offered. "I don't mind. You can drive home in the morning instead."

Ianto felt the blood drain from his face, his stomach clenching with a spike of fear. "Sleep here? With you?"

Jack shrugged. "Just to sleep. No funny business, I promise."

Ianto studied Jack's features, looking for any hint of an ulterior motive, but the older man was looking back with nothing more than kindness in his eyes. "I suppose that's the best option," Ianto said cautiously. "All right. Thanks."

Jack nodded, and after patting Ianto's knee, he stood up. He gestured towards the bookcase on the far side of the room where his DVD collection was stored. "Pick out a movie if you like. I'll just go and get that bottle of wine."

Ianto took a deep breath and tried to dispel the rush of lurid images of them in bed together from his mind. He stood up and walked over to the bookcase.

He liked Jack's flat. It was probably a little less than twice the size of his own; the simple, modern interior and open plan layout with a combined living area and well-appointed kitchen gave it a spacious feel. It also had a second bedroom that Jack used as a study. Although they'd eaten in comfort on the sofa with their food and drinks spread out on Jack's wide, glass-topped coffee table, there was also a compact, round dining table positioned just beside the kitchen area. Jack's furniture was smart and surprisingly tasteful, with its coordinated, muted colours. A large, framed print of Monet's _Boulevard__ des __Capucines_ hung next to the bookcase, and he wondered if Jack had ever been to Paris. On the other side of the room hung two spectacular prints of skylines of New York and London at night, and a collection of smaller prints of what looked like rural Scotland.

He discovered that Jack's extensive film collection was as varied and eclectic as his own, and their tastes seemed to be surprisingly similar. Jack had an obvious penchant for science-fiction, but also seemed to like spy thrillers, period dramas, and classic British comedies. Ianto decided that he could overlook Jack's thankfully small collection of romantic comedies and musicals. No one was perfect, after all.

He was delighted to find that Jack had the complete set of Star Wars films on Blu-Ray. Ianto's flat-screen television was somewhat outdated – he'd picked it up on sale when he'd first moved into his flat. It had been his one indulgence beyond the absolute essentials. It wasn't high-definition though, and he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

Jack returned a moment later, bottle of wine in hand, and stood beside him. "What do you fancy watching?"

Ianto gestured tentatively at the box of films. "Can we watch A New Hope? It's one of my favourites."

He was worried that the request might seem childish. The first Star Wars movie always brought back fond memories. His father had taken him to see it for the first time during its twentieth anniversary screening at the local cinema in Newport. Ianto had been just seven years old.

Jack agreed readily, giving him a broad grin. He opened the bottle of wine, and after filling their glasses, they settled down together on Jack's sofa, losing themselves in the wonders of a galaxy far, far away.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone for reviewing the last chapter. There were a couple of reviews I couldn't reply to because the reviewer has private messaging disabled - so if you haven't received a reply but would like me to respond, just check your account settings and let me know. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta Prothrombintime.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

Jack woke the following morning and was momentarily startled to discover he had a warm, sleeping Welshman wrapped tightly around him. Ianto's head was resting on his shoulder, his slow, rhythmic breathing ghosting lightly over Jack's chest.

Jack smiled with contentment, and being careful not to disturb the younger man, he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Ianto's relaxed body pressed up against him. Reminding himself that it was Sunday, therefore he didn't have anywhere he needed to be or anything pressing to do, he drifted back into a light slumber.

It was a short while later when Ianto began to stir, and Jack opened his eyes again. Ianto tilted his head up and peered at Jack blearily. He suddenly pulled away, shifting to the edge of the bed, a look of shock contorting his features.

"Jack, oh God, I'm sorry… I…" Ianto mumbled in a sleep-thickened voice.

"Hey," Jack said gently, reaching over and pulling Ianto back towards him. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

Ianto looked at him warily and resisted for a moment, but then his expression cleared, and he allowed himself to be enveloped in Jack's embrace.

Jack pressed a kiss against his forehead. "Ianto, I woke up with a gorgeous man in my arms. To my way of thinking, that's not a bad way to start the day."

"I've never woken up with another man before," Ianto murmured against Jack's neck.

"Not so terrible is it?"

"No... no, of course not." Ianto breathed out heavily.

Jack just held onto him, lightly stroking his fingers over Ianto's upper arm, hoping to reassure the younger man. "It's okay, Ianto. I'm glad you're here."

Ianto nodded. He wriggled slightly and tilting his head up, he lifted the covers and looked down at himself and then back up at Jack. "Jack, I…"

Jack gave him a reassuring smile. He'd felt Ianto's erection pressing against him through the confines of his underwear. "I know. I'm hard too." He widened his smile into a grin. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" he teased. "I'll even go first."

Ianto snorted and rolled his eyes. "What are you Jack… ten years old?"

Jack shrugged unrepentantly. "Well, I did say you were the more mature one out of the two of us," he said jokingly. More seriously he added, "It's okay, Ianto. We won't do anything you don't want to."

Ianto looked at him doubtfully. "No. I… I want to see you."

Jack smiled again as he thought about how adorable Ianto looked in his current sleep-disheveled state. Throwing back the bed covers, Jack reached down, slipped off his briefs, and casually dropped them to the floor.

He watched as Ianto stared at his erection, looking totally enthralled. Ianto reached towards it tentatively.

"It's okay," Jack reassured him as he settled back against the pillows to watch the younger man. "We can do anything you want."

Ianto nodded, and Jack moaned appreciatively as Ianto began to touch him, his fingers lightly playing across Jack's straining length. He'd fantasised so many times about Ianto touching him like this, using those long, talented fingers to give him pleasure. It was even better in reality than anything he'd imagined. "Want to make me come?" he murmured.

"Yeah," Ianto breathed, glancing up at Jack hesitantly.

Jack watched avidly as Ianto began to stroke him. He was cautious and uncertain at first, but seemed to quickly gain confidence as Jack responded encouragingly. Jack was already fiercely aroused from having Ianto's almost-naked body pressed up against him. He knew he wouldn't last long.

Ianto paused to rub his thumb over Jack's glistening crown, causing an intense ripple of pleasure to course along the length of Jack's body. "That feels so good," he murmured as Ianto resumed stroking him.

All too soon, Jack tumbled over the edge. Thrusting up into the younger man's hand, he groaned loudly and climaxed, shooting his release up over his torso as he was consumed by a startlingly intense wave of pleasure.

Jack gasped for breath as Ianto turned towards him and their eyes met again. Ianto looked at him with something approaching awe and then looked curiously down at Jack's body again. Jack was surprised when Ianto dipped his head and began moving his mouth over Jack's stomach, his tongue lapping insistently until Jack was mostly clean again.

Ianto looked up at him sheepishly and then moved back to lie against Jack's side. "I've, ah… I've never done that before… tasted another man… I've wondered what it would be like."

Jack reached up and brushed his thumb over Ianto's moist lips. He leaned closer and captured Ianto's bottom lip in his mouth, chasing the lingering taste of himself with his tongue. "Good?" Jack asked gently.

Ianto let out a small breathy sigh. "Mmm, very good."

Jack looked at Ianto's very obvious erection, still encased in his underwear. "Do you want…" He trailed off, leaving the question hanging. "It's all right if you don't."

"I want you to. The same though… with your hand?" Ianto asked, the look of wariness returning.

Jack nodded. "Okay. You're sure?"

"I'm sure, Jack."

Jack smiled at him and moved to kneel beside Ianto as he stretched out on the bed. Jack slowly eased Ianto's snug boxer briefs down and off, tossing them to the floor. He gazed over Ianto's long, naked body appreciatively. The younger man was lean and almost perfectly proportioned, his quite broad shoulders complemented by slim hips and a flat stomach, with a musculature that was visible but not overly developed.

An alluring expanse of dark body hair began at the hollow of his throat and spread out over his chest before trailing down to a perfectly formed, sunken belly button. Spreading out again over his stomach, it merged with a denser thatch of hair at his crotch. The dark hair contrasted magnificently against Ianto's pale, smooth skin. Jack imagined that as Ianto matured, his body hair would expand and thicken, and his physique would fill out a little, resulting in an even more beautiful specimen of masculinity.

Showing a surprising degree of restraint, Jack had avoided looking too closely at Ianto's body the night before. By the time the movie was over, Ianto had been slumped against him and on the verge of sleep. Jack had been tired too, and after stopping to use the bathroom, with Jack giving Ianto his spare toothbrush, they'd made their way into the bedroom. Jack had unselfconsciously stripped down to his underwear before climbing into bed. Ianto had looked at him dubiously, but then he'd done the same and quickly slipped beneath the covers. Jack had seen only a teasing, and all too fleeting glimpse of pale flesh. He'd pressed a kiss to Ianto's cheek, and after they'd murmured goodnight to each other, Ianto had curled up on his side with his back to Jack, and sleep had claimed them.

Jack was utterly captivated as he continued to look at the younger man with admiration. He'd tried to imagine what might be hidden beneath Ianto's perfectly tailored suits. Even his vivid imagination hadn't prepared him for the breathtaking sight before his eyes.

"Am I okay?" Ianto asked, looking up at him anxiously.

"You're gorgeous," Jack replied with absolute sincerity, hearing the insecurity in Ianto's voice and wishing the Welshman could see himself through his eyes.

He traced his hand over Ianto's long, firm shaft, continuing upwards over his stomach and following the trail of dark hair until he reached the thicker patch at the centre of Ianto's chest. Ianto moaned in pleasure as Jack turning his attention to the soft, pink nipples, rubbing them lightly until they became hard.

"You really have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" Jack murmured, moving to lie next to the other man. He wrapped his left arm around Ianto's shoulders as he continued running his other hand over Ianto's chest, teasing the silky strands of hair between his fingers.

"I'm not," Ianto protested weakly as he moaned again.

"Yes, you are," Jack said firmly and pressed a kiss against Ianto's stubbled cheek. "I thought that the first time I met you."

"Really?" Ianto asked, looking at him with obvious disbelief.

Jack chuckled. "Yes, really. I thought you were one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. And that was before I knew what you were hiding beneath your suits."

Ianto didn't reply, but he gave Jack a small, shy smile.

"Jack?" he murmured a moment later.

"Hmm?"

"At the risk of sending your ego into orbit…" Ianto moaned again as Jack playfully squeezed a nipple. "I think you're gorgeous too."

"Better looking than my car?" Jack asked cheekily.

"Yeah," Ianto breathed out. "Much better."

Moving his hand downwards, Jack started slowly stroking Ianto's hard length. He kissed Ianto's throat and felt a tremor ripple through the younger man's body. Ianto moaned again as Jack twisted his hand and gave a sharp tug.

Jack continued his ministrations with enthusiasm, reveling in every response he managed to evoke from the younger man. It didn't take long, and with a couple more firm strokes, Ianto climaxed, groaning as his release shot out in long, pulsing spurts. Trembling in Jack's embrace, Ianto's eyes drifted closed, as he took short, gasping breaths. Jack repositioned himself so that he could look down upon Ianto's face, enthralled by the flush of his skin and the look of utter contentment spread across his features. It was a sight that Jack never wanted to forget.

Ianto's eyes opened again, and he watched as Jack slowly licked at his fingers, relishing Ianto's taste before reaching for some tissues from the bedside table and gently cleaning Ianto's stomach and chest. Jack leaned in and kissed Ianto softly on the mouth.

Ianto returned the kiss but then pulled back, wrinkling his nose. "We haven't brushed our teeth, Jack," he admonished.

"So, I can't kiss you in the morning until after we've brushed our teeth?" Jack asked in astonishment.

Ianto nodded. "Yep."

Jack shook his head fondly. "Lucky I had that spare toothbrush for you then, because I really want to kiss you." He climbed off the bed and tugged on Ianto's hand. "Come on."

Jack watched as Ianto reached down to retrieve his underwear and self-consciously pulled the garment back on. Deciding to follow Ianto's lead, Jack did the same, and they made their way to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, they were back on the bed, Ianto lying on top of Jack as they kissed each other feverishly. Jack was intoxicated with the sensation of Ianto's body pressing down on him. Moaning as Ianto deepened their kiss, Jack trailed his hands down Ianto's spine until he reached the waistband of his briefs. He pushed the fabric down and began to massage the soft mounds of Ianto's backside as Ianto moved against him, his hands gripping Jack's shoulders. Jack pressed his fingers into the divide between the warm cheeks, teasing an exploratory finger over the ring of muscle at Ianto's entrance, and rubbing lightly against it.

Ianto tensed and suddenly pushed himself off Jack, quickly pulling up his underwear. He moved to the top corner of the bed, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping them tightly in his arms, his eyes wide.

Jack looked at him in shock. "Ianto, what is it?"

Ianto shook his head furiously, looking panicked. Jack could see that he was physically trembling.

"Did I do something wrong?" Jack asked worriedly, starting to move closer to the other man but then deciding that it wasn't a good idea to crowd him in his distressed state.

Ianto continued shaking his head. "It's not you… it… it's me," he murmured, as he glanced around the room looking like he was readying himself to bolt.

Jack realised that the younger man was on the verge of a panic attack. "Just take slow, deep breaths," he urged gently. "It's okay, Ianto. Whatever's wrong, it's okay. You're safe here."

Ianto nodded, and after several long, anxious moments, he seemed to relax a little. Jack risked moving closer, and propping himself up next to Ianto, he carefully wrapped his arm around the distraught man's quivering shoulders.

Ianto remained tense for another minute or two but then relaxed against Jack, burying his face against Jack's shoulder as he continued to draw deep, unsteady breaths. Completely at a loss, Jack simply held onto the younger man until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry," Ianto mumbled as he looked up at Jack with fearful, shimmering eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," Jack said, keeping his voice low and even. "Do you want to talk about what's wrong?"

"No, but… I… I have to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"I thought I was over it," Ianto said hesitantly. "But when you touched me like that… I, um… I had a flashback I guess. About something that happened a while ago." He stopped awkwardly and looked away.

"It's okay, take your time," Jack said quietly, giving Ianto's shoulder a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"There was this club I went to for a while," Ianto said unsteadily. "I met a bloke there, he was older than me… probably about your age… I thought he seemed okay. We had drinks together a few times, and we'd fooled around a bit in one of the backrooms. Just kissing and wanking each other off. He gave me a blow job once, and I liked it."

Ianto paused and looked up at Jack. Jack gave him what he hoped was an encouraging nod. Ianto looked away again and drew in a ragged breath.

"I'd never had sex with another man before," he continued after a moment. "I was curious. I wanted to know what it felt like. I was pretty drunk one night." He paused and frowned. "I'm not telling this very well. It all happened not long after my dad died, and I was drinking a lot. Trying to dull the pain." He paused again. "One night, the guy showed up again. We had a drink and then went into a backroom. He said…" Ianto took another deep breath. "He said he wanted to fuck me."

Jack felt a wave of coldness spread over him. He was pretty sure he knew where Ianto's story was going. He reflexively held Ianto a little tighter.

"I wanted it, but I didn't know what I was doing," Ianto continued hurriedly. "I asked him to be gentle, but I guess he didn't prepare me properly. He just started pounding into me. God, it hurt. I'd never thought it could hurt like that." Ianto paused and shook his head as if trying to banish the memories. "I should have told him to stop… I should have said he was hurting me… it didn't seem right, but I thought maybe it was normal because it was my first time… I was scared and he was stronger than me."

Ianto paused again, looking distressed. "He had me pinned up again a wall. I just stayed still as he kept going. When he was finished, he laughed at me and said I was a lousy shag. Then he walked off and left me there." He paused, his breath hitching. "It took days before I could walk properly again. I never went back there, and I haven't seen him since. I hope I'll never see him again."

"Ianto…" Jack began, horrified by Ianto's story.

The thought of this callous bastard using Ianto like that made him feel sick to his stomach. Knowing that Ianto had been alone, and that he'd had no-one to talk to or seek comfort from made it even worse.

"Don't, Jack," Ianto said, a hint of pleading in his voice. "It was my fault. I know I was an idiot to trust someone like that." He started to pull away. "I'm sorry. I should go."

"Ianto, no, don't go," Jack pleaded. Ianto stopped and looked back at him dubiously. "Just sit for a minute and hear me out, okay? Then you can leave if you want to."

Ianto continued to look at him warily, but then nodded and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Jack moved to sit next to him as he tried to decide what to say.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you," Jack began, trying to keep his voice even and his emotions in check. He knew it wouldn't help Ianto if he got angry on his behalf, or seemed to be taking pity on him. "You're not an idiot. You were grieving, and that despicable bastard took advantage of you."

Jack paused and gave Ianto what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I like you, Ianto. I like being with you. I'd really like to see where this goes." He paused again and wondered if he was being presumptuous. "If you want that too?" he asked cautiously.

"I want that, Jack," Ianto replied, glancing up at him. "But sooner or later we'll…" He trailed off and sighed, shaking his head despondently. "I want to get past this, but I'm not sure if I can."

"Maybe I can help you with that when you feel ready," Jack suggested. "Once you know that you can trust me, it might get easier."

He moved closer and reached for Ianto's hand, entwining their fingers together. Ianto looked at him in surprise.

"Ianto, I'd never hurt you like that, and I'd never want to do anything that you don't enjoy too. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. Besides, there's plenty of other things we can do together if you want to, and I'm a flexible guy… I like being on the bottom as much as I like being on top."

The astonished look on Ianto's face caused Jack to wonder what assumptions the younger man may have made about the possibility of a sexual relationship between them. "That's not fair though," Ianto protested.

Jack shrugged and squeezed Ianto's hand. "It's not that important. Not all men like to bottom. I've been with men before who only want to be on top. Anyway, most relationships have compromises in one way or another. Just try not to worry about it, all right? We can take things as slowly as you like."

Ianto looked at him doubtfully for a long moment. "Okay," he agreed eventually.

"Good," Jack said simply, not wanting to press the matter too much. He just didn't want Ianto to write them off because of his traumatic experience, nor did he want that experience to forever sabotage Ianto's chance of having a full and meaningful relationship.

Jack wrapped his other arm gently around Ianto's waist. "Would you like to spend the day together?" he asked hopefully.

Ianto looked at him with a frown. "What are we going to do?"

Jack smiled. "Anything you like."

###

"This is fantastic, Ianto," Jack enthused as they stood together at the top of Cardiff Castle and looked out over the spectacular panoramic view of Cardiff.

Jack slid his arm under Ianto's jacket and wrapped it around his waist, holding him close against his side. He noticed Ianto glance around furtively, but there weren't any other people nearby, and he was relieved when the younger man didn't pull away.

Ianto turned to look at Jack and their eyes met for a moment. Ianto's cheeks were slightly flushed from the chilly wind of the late afternoon, while his windswept hair complemented the dark stubble adorning his jawline and upper lip. Jack usually chose to forgo some of his daily rituals on a Sunday, one of which happened to be shaving. He enjoyed the chance to shirk his usual clean-cut, suited persona for at least one day of the week, and he'd encouraged Ianto to do the same. The younger man had protested at length, but Jack had finally managed to wear him down with several compliments and a few well-timed, distracting kisses.

As Jack gazed at Ianto with yearning, wanting nothing more than to kiss him senseless and feel that prickly skin rub sensuously against his own, he knew that the end result had been well worth his efforts. Ianto gave him a timid but singularly beautiful smile, and Jack smiled back warmly in return.

After Ianto's disturbing revelation that morning, Jack had wanted to take Ianto's mind off things, and he'd chatted with him about possible activities for the day. Jack would have loved for them to spend a lazy day together in bed, but given the circumstances, he'd realised that Ianto needed a distraction. He'd hoped that Ianto didn't regret confiding in him, but it had been obvious from the younger man's demeanour that he felt unsettled and vulnerable after his painful disclosure. But Ianto seemed to be willing to give them a chance, and Jack didn't mind taking things slowly. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Ianto discomfort or any further distress.

After they'd showered separately, Jack had whipped up a batch of banana pancakes, and they'd shared a quiet but enjoyable breakfast. Pancakes were one of his indulgences on the weekend, and he'd enjoyed sharing that with Ianto. He'd been particularly pleased when Ianto had told him they were delicious. They'd headed out for the day in Jack's car and begun by taking a long, leisurely stroll around the bay. That had been followed by a simple lunch of sandwiches and coffee while sitting on the oversized steps of the Plass, and then they'd driven to Cardiff Castle.

Jack had never been to the castle before, much to Ianto's horror, but he'd enjoyed himself far more than he'd expected as they'd explored the ancient fortifications. Ianto had proven himself to be highly knowledgeable about the history of Cardiff, and his understated but passionate enthusiasm was infectious. More than anything else, Jack had just enjoyed seeing Ianto relaxed and happy.

"There are some other castles nearby, aren't there?" Jack asked, reluctantly turning his gaze away from Ianto and continuing to study their surroundings appreciatively.

Ianto nodded. "There's quite a few. Castell Coch isn't too far away."

"Maybe we could go there next weekend?" Jack suggested, glancing back at Ianto and hoping he didn't sound too eager. "Make a day of it like today?"

"You'd want to do that?" Ianto asked, looking at him in surprise.

Jack smiled. "Yeah, why not. It could be fun."

"Okay," Ianto agreed. "I'd like that, Jack."

Something about the unmistakable note of gratitude in Ianto's voice tore at Jack's heart. As much as the idea of exploring another castle wasn't at all unappealing, the motive behind his suggestion wasn't quite so altruistic. He didn't care what they did as long as it allowed them to spend more time together.

It was well after five o'clock when they arrived back at Jack's flat. Jack closed the door behind them, and turning to Ianto, he pulled the younger man into his arms and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. Their bodies seemed to slot together effortlessly, and with Ianto's arms encircling Jack's waist, the younger man returned the kiss with the same eager gentleness.

"I've been wanting to do that all afternoon," Jack murmured as they pulled apart but continued holding onto each other.

"Worth the wait?" Ianto quipped with a soft, teasing smile.

"Definitely." Jack reached up and traced his fingers lightly over Ianto's cheek, enjoying the sensation of Ianto's unshaven skin prickling against the pads of his fingertips. "I like seeing you like this."

"What do you mean?" Ianto asked with a confused frown.

"Happy," Jack said simply.

Ianto lowered his eyes. "It's been a while," he said in little more than a whisper.

"I know," Jack said sadly, his heart constricting as he irrationally wished that he could erase all of the younger man's pain. He nudged Ianto's chin until he looked up again. "I had a great time today, Ianto."

"I did too, Jack." Ianto brushed a light kiss over Jack's lips, causing Jack to close his eyes and concentrate on savouring the moment of pleasure. Ianto sighed softly. "I'd better go."

Jack matched Ianto's sigh with one of his own as the younger man eased out of their embrace. "So I was thinking… I've got my new suit to show off. Maybe we can go out for dinner this week?"

"A proper date?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow inquiringly.

"Yes, a proper date," Jack confirmed with a chuckle. "Just you, me, our gorgeous suits, and a quiet table in a nice restaurant. Think you're up for it?"

Ianto smiled. "I'll look forward to it."

Ianto disappeared out the door, leaving Jack grinning after him. As disappointed as Jack was that their day together had come to an end, he couldn't have been happier with the progress they'd made over the last twenty-four hours. He was looking forward to seeing a lot more of the intriguing young Welshman.


	7. Chapter 7

More Ianto angst ahead! Thanks as always to my fantastic beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

Ianto couldn't stop a smile from tugging at the corners of his mouth as he disconnected the call and put down his phone. Jack had sounded almost coy when he'd asked if he could stop by for a cup of Ianto's 'heavenly' coffee. He idly wondered if Jack actually wanted coffee or if his request had been a euphemism for 'snog each other senseless'. Either option was more than all right with Ianto, but he realised, somewhat to his chagrin, that he was rather hoping for the less literal interpretation.

Still smiling, he picked up the pair of trousers he'd been altering and returned to the task at hand.

It had been two days since he'd woken up in Jack's arms and subsequently broken down, the memories he'd been trying so hard to suppress flooding back with a vengeance. He'd never told anyone about what had happened that night at the club. He wasn't sure why he'd opened up to Jack. He'd never had someone to talk to about it before, but even if he had, he'd felt too humiliated and ashamed. Yet that horrible experience had served as the impetus he'd needed to pull himself back from the brink of self-destruction. In the days that had followed, hiding away from the world and giving his body time to recover, he'd finally given in completely to the grief of losing his father. He'd also begun to ease back on his drinking. He still had his moments, but he no longer relied on alcohol to dull the pain as he had in those darker times.

Needing an outlet for his self-destructive desires, he'd found solace by writing in his diary, pouring out all the rage and despair he'd kept so deeply buried. Eventually, the tears had stopped falling, and the tumult of his emotions had been given expression as frantically written ramblings sprawling countless pages.

A part of him was relieved that he'd told Jack about the club incident. It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. However, his more vulnerable side was deeply mortified. He wanted to be Jack's equal. He didn't want Jack to see him as weak or traumatised, or as someone who was fragile and should be pitied. Jack had been kind and sympathetic, but Ianto didn't want sympathy. He didn't want comfort or concessions. He didn't want them, but deep down he knew he needed them... he needed someone who would be patient and understanding. He hated feeling vulnerable and exposed, and his admission felt like another impediment in their tentative relationship. He also knew it wouldn't be the last one.

He'd thought several times that the wisest course of action would be to end this thing with Jack before the two of them became further involved. But each time he thought about doing that, he'd remember their brief time together and how much happier he'd felt in the other man's presence. Jack was exuberant and full of life. He was charming and fun to be around. Jack made him feel desired and appreciated. Jack treated him with admiration and respect. Ianto had never really felt those things before. Jack was in many ways his opposite, yet the older man seemed to genuinely enjoy being with him, much to Ianto's bewilderment.

The old adage that 'opposites attract' occurred to him. He'd always dismissed such simplistic notions with a healthy degree of contempt, yet he was beginning to concede that there might be some truth to it. He would never have imagined being attracted to someone like Jack, but he couldn't deny his feelings. Their intensity bordered on terrifying. He wasn't about to delude himself that he and Jack could have anything more than a short-lived affiliation. He wasn't exciting or outgoing enough to keep someone like Jack interested. But for the first time in what seemed like as long as he could remember, he felt hopeful that there could be something more for him than a desolate and lonely existence. He couldn't willingly give that up.

The bell jingled, interrupting his thoughts. By the time Ianto had put down his work and risen to his feet, Jack appeared at the curtained doorway with a wide, beaming smile firmly in place. The older man was wearing his new suit accompanied by a cobalt blue shirt and a navy silk tie with a fine grey, diagonal stripe. Ianto swallowed, feeling his mouth go dry. Jack looked stunning.

Jack strode forward and Ianto let out an unmanly yelp as his face was grasped by two warm, strong hands, and his mouth was captured in a demanding kiss. Sliding his arms beneath Jack's suit jacket, and wrapping them around Jack's firm chest, Ianto pulled him closer. He didn't hesitate to return the kiss with equal enthusiasm.

"I hope you don't greet everyone you know like that," Ianto commented dryly after they'd eventually broken apart, a smile forming on his lips.

"Only the gorgeous, irresistible ones," Jack said with a grin and playfully kissed the tip of Ianto's nose.

Ianto rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help feeling more than a little bit flattered. He took a step backwards, gazing critically over Jack's attire. "So, how's the new suit?"

"It's fantastic. I love it," Jack replied enthusiastically, spinning around to give Ianto a three-sixty degree view. "I wanted to save wearing it until our date, but I couldn't resist showing it off at work. I've been getting compliments all day." He winked teasingly. "The girls at work can't keep their hands off me. Neither can some of the guys."

"You do know you're completely shameless?" Ianto retorted, shaking his head fondly. "You're rather dashing though, I'll give you that. And at the risk of sounding immodest, the suit looks amazing on you."

Ianto had expected Jack to deliver a flirtatious reply, but instead he simply stood and gazed at Ianto intently with his bright, blue eyes. Ianto only just managed not to squirm with embarrassment under the intense scrutiny.

"I've missed you," Jack said quietly.

Ianto felt his eyes widen in surprise. Jack always managed to say things he never expected. He realised the older man's unpredictability was just one of the many things he found so appealing. "It's only been two days, Jack."

"I know." Jack looked a little bit sheepish. "Doesn't make it any less true though."

"I've missed you too." Ianto was surprised by his admission, but knew it was the truth. Jack had been featuring heavily in his thoughts, and he's been looking forward to seeing him again. "Coffee?" he suggested, feeling slightly awkward.

"I'd love some." Jack smiled as he moved over to the table and sat down.

Ianto smiled in return, then stepped over to the kitchen area, and busied himself by putting on the kettle and preparing their drinks. He took several deep, steadying breaths as he worked, focusing on the familiar routine to calm his thoughts.

"Here you go." He put Jack's cup down in front of him, and sat down on the other chair.

"Thanks, Ianto." Jack picked up his cup and drew in a deep breath, his eyes flickering closed. "Mmm," he murmured before taking a tentative sip. "Delicious."

Ianto smiled to himself as he took a sip of his own coffee.

"So, how does Thursday night sound for dinner?" Jack asked. "Do you like Italian? There's a great place down near the bay…"

Before he could stop himself, Ianto cringed, and Jack paused with a frown. "What's wrong?"

Ianto sighed and rubbed distractedly at the back of his neck. "Italian's fine. But there's… um… well, there's something I need to talk to you about and it's... well, it's a bit embarrassing." He paused and took another sip of coffee to strengthen his resolve. He knew he couldn't put it off any longer. "I'm broke," he blurted out.

"Oh." Jack's features twisted in confusion. "But what about all this... the shop... your business?"

"It's a long story, Jack." Ianto sighed again and looked down at his cup to avoid the other man's piercing gaze. "The business has been on the decline for years. People don't spend money on tailoring like they used to. Everything is mass produced and disposable these days. And when my dad died, he had a lot of debts. We had to sell the house to pay everything off, plus there were the funeral costs and everything else."

Jack nodded but thankfully remained silent. Ianto took another sip of coffee. Once again he found himself revealing something painful and deeply mortifying. With determination, he looked up and met Jack's eyes.

"In the end, there wasn't much left, and I had to split that with my sister," Ianto continued to explain. "She wanted to sell the business. She kept saying we both needed a fresh start. I refused. This is my dad's legacy, and I couldn't just let it go like that without a fight. Anyway, I knew it wouldn't be worth much, even if we could have found a buyer, which was unlikely. Eventually we agreed to disagree, and I bought her share of the business with the money I had left."

He paused, and Jack just nodded again, waiting for him to continue. "But the business isn't doing very well. I'm barely hanging on, if I'm honest about it. I'm only just managing to cover the rent and overheads here, plus the rent and utilities on my flat, along with my basic living expenses. But there's nothing left over, and some weeks I'm having to dip into the little bit of savings I've got left just to make ends meet. I can't afford meals out or… well, anything, really. Even paying for lunch and entry to the castle on Sunday was more than I could afford."

"I could have paid for that," Jack interjected. "I wouldn't have minded."

"But you paid for dinner the night before," Ianto argued. "I had to reciprocate somehow. Anyway, that's beside the point. I can't have you paying each time we do something together."

Jack shrugged. "I can afford it, and I really don't mind."

"But I do!" Ianto said sharply, his frustration with the situation getting the better of him. "I'm not a charity case, Jack."

Jack blinked, looking surprised, and Ianto immediately regretted his outburst. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I didn't mean it like that. Of course you're not. And I really am sorry about your situation. If there's anything I can do to help, I'll gladly do it. But I'm not sure what the answer is as far as we're concerned… are you saying we can't do things together?"

"No, I'm not saying that," Ianto replied with a sigh. "It's just that you want to go to a nice and probably expensive restaurant... which sounds lovely, but then next time… assuming there is a next time… it will be my turn, and I won't be able to afford to pay for it."

"We don't have to go to a restaurant if you don't want to," Jack said slowly. "I just thought it would be nice to get dressed up and have a night out together. I know it sounds stupid, but I was kind of looking forward to showing you off and having people see us together in the suits you made."

Ianto couldn't help but smile a little at Jack's vanity. "It would be nice," he admittedly, realising that he probably seemed ungrateful when all Jack wanted was for them to share a nice evening together.

Jack's expression became earnest. "I wanted to have a proper date so that you knew I was serious about us. But the important thing is that we get to spend time together. That doesn't have to cost anything. Although I'd like to be able to treat you at least occasionally."

Ianto shook his head miserably. "I'm sorry, Jack. I hate this… I hate feeling like…"

"Like what?" Jack asked gently.

Ianto sighed heavily. "Like I'm not good enough for you."

Jack looked shocked, and Ianto lowered his eyes in embarrassment. He hadn't meant to say that. He didn't want Jack to think he was so insecure.

There was a sound of movement and then Jack was sitting directly in front of him, their knees touching. Jack reached forward and wrapped Ianto's hands in his own. "Listen to me, Ianto. That's not true. I don't want you to ever think that. Anyone with any sense at all would be proud and damn lucky to have you as their friend, boyfriend, partner, whatever. You're more than good enough for anyone."

"Do you mean that?" Ianto murmured, wishing that he could believe Jack's words.

"Of course I do," Jack said insistently. "I'd never joke or lie about something like that."

Ianto just nodded slightly as he stared down at their joined hands.

"We're just at different points in our lives, that's all," Jack continued. "There's nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. When I was your age, I was struggling to get myself through university. My family didn't have much money, and anyway, I was determined to do it on my own." He paused, and his voice took on an edge of sadness. "All of these things that you see as obstacles... none of them matter to me."

Jack paused again, and as Ianto finally looked up to meet his eyes, he thought he could see a flicker of hurt. "Do you really think I'm that shallow?"

"No, Jack, of course I don't," Ianto replied vehemently, appalled that Jack could think such a thing, but also knowing that, given his doubts, there was an element of truth to it.

Jack looked thoughtful and squeezed Ianto's hand again. "All right. So, how about a compromise?"

"What do you mean?" Ianto asked warily.

"We go out for dinner this week like we planned. I'll find somewhere nice that isn't too expensive. And next week, you can invite me over to your place and cook dinner for us? Even if its just eggs on toast, it doesn't matter."

"I think I can manage a bit better than that," Ianto said with a wry smile despite himself. "But my flat isn't much, especially compared to yours."

"I don't care about that. I'd still like to see where you live." Jack looked at him intently. "So, what do you think?"

Ianto nodded slowly in agreement. "As long as you let me pay my way when we go to the castle on Sunday? If we're still going that is."

"Of course we are. I'm looking forward to it." Jack smiled, and releasing Ianto's hands, he patted his knee. "Okay, it's a deal."

"Thanks, Jack," Ianto said quietly.

He didn't think it seemed like much of a compromise, but at least they'd talked about it. He'd just have to learn to swallow his pride a bit and hope that Jack would be understanding when the issue came up again, as it inevitably would.

"Is there anything I can do to help with everything else?" Jack asked as he shifted his chair back and picked up his cup again.

"Not that I can think of," Ianto replied. "Unless you want to order a dozen or so more suits?" he joked, forcing a tight smile.

Jack chuckled. "I'd need a separate flat to store them all in."

Ianto managed to maintain his smile for a moment but then became serious again. "I suppose I've been deluding myself... hoping that things would get better. But the way things are going, I might be homeless and unemployed in a few months time."

Jack shook his head. "It's not going to come to that, Ianto."

"I hope not," Ianto said, not able to shake the feeling that he'd been putting off the inevitable. He was starting to realise that despite his determination, the time where he would be forced to make an impossible and heart-breaking decision was rapidly approaching.

Ianto noticed that Jack was looking at him curiously and he wondered what the older man was thinking about. "What is it, Jack?"

"Can I ask you something?"

There was something in Jack's tone that suggested Ianto wasn't going to like what he was about to hear, but he nodded anyway. "Go ahead."

"There's no denying that you're very skilled and talented," Jack said slowly as if he was carefully choosing his words. "I'm wondering though… all of this… is it really your dream? Is this what you want to do with your life? If it is, that's great, and you should fight like hell to hold onto it. But if it's not…" Jack trailed off, looking reluctant to continue.

Ianto felt his defenses rise. Jack had only known him for a couple of weeks and was in no position to judge his choices. Jack couldn't possibly understand how important it was to him to honour his father by keeping the business going. Other than their family, the tailoring business had been his father's life.

He glared at Jack, ready to unleash an angry retort, but Jack was looking back at him with nothing but fondness and concern, and his ire vanished as quickly as it had taken hold. The strange reality was that in the brief time they'd known each other, Jack had learned more about him than anyone else ever had before. Jack was the first person he'd been able to open up to, and despite everything he'd discovered, Jack didn't seem to be running for the hills, even though Ianto thought he'd given him plenty of reason to do so.

Ianto sighed deeply. "I don't know. I thought it was. I thought about going to university too. I wanted to study literature and history. But I wanted to work here with my dad. For a while I thought maybe I could have done both." He shook his head despondently. "Now he's gone and nothing's the same... perhaps my heart isn't really in it anymore."

"You're young, Ianto." Jack looked at him steadily. "You've got your whole life ahead of you. You can probably achieve anything you set your mind to. And from what you've told me, your father was a good man… I'm sure he loved you very much." Jack gave him a small, sad smile. "Above everything else, wouldn't he have wanted you to be happy?"

Ianto nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It wasn't as simple as that, and whatever happened, he still had to support himself. Without money or a family to lean on, his options seemed rather limited. However, Jack was right in saying that his father would have wanted him to be happy. He wondered if perhaps he'd lost sight of that amidst his grief and desperate desire to honour his father's memory.

He was surprised when a moment later he was tugged to his feet, pulled against Jack's chest, and enveloped in a strong embrace. Soft lips pressed gently against his temple, and resting his chin on Jack's shoulder with their cheeks pressed together, Ianto held onto the older man unashamedly.

He closed his eyes as his confused thoughts drifted, and he gave himself into the moment, enjoying the comforting warmth of Jack's body pressed against his own.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks as always to everyone who continues to so kindly review. Please continue to review and let me know what you think of the story. There's a chance I might be convinced to post a bonus chapter over the weekend :-). Thanks also to my wonderful beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

Jack pulled his car up at the address Ianto had given him. It was a quiet, ordinary looking street on the outskirts of Roath. Glancing at the clock, he was relieved to note that it was only just after seven.

Having spent even more time than usual grooming and primping, he'd struggled to decide which shirt and tie combination to wear with his new suit. After sifting through his entire wardrobe twice in a desperate attempt to find something that would impress Ianto, he'd finally settled on a rarely worn lilac coloured shirt. After further deliberation, which had resulted in his bedroom becoming a sea of discarded clothing, he'd paired the shirt with a deep purple tie. He hoped the result would meet the approval of Ianto's discerning eye. He'd debated about wearing a tie at all, feeling that it was a little overdressed for dinner, but he was certain Ianto would be wearing one. He doubted Ianto would approve of wearing a suit without a tie, regardless of the occasion.

He'd checked his appearance a final time, adjusting an errant tuft of his painstakingly styled hair. Then, fearing that he was running late, he'd dashed out the door in a panic, only barely remembering to grab his wallet, keys, and phone on the way.

Jack had been nervously excited all day, finding it difficult to sit still and focus on his work. Consuming far more than his usual quota of coffee hadn't done anything to help his condition. He'd tried to remember the last time he'd been so filled with anticipation before a dinner date. After drawing a complete blank, he'd been forced to acknowledge the true depth of his infatuation. The more he'd thought about that, and its possible implications, the more his anxiety had increased.

While he'd decided that their age difference didn't matter to him, there was no avoiding the fact that he and Ianto were at very different points in their lives. Ianto was so young, and he probably wasn't looking for anything serious, whereas Jack was at a stage where he felt that he was ready for something more than short-term or casual. He was done with the carefree lifestyle of his past, and he was tired of being alone. He longed for the depth of happiness that he felt certain could only be found in a serious, meaningful, and lasting relationship.

His feelings for the younger man were already frighteningly intense. Just thinking about the enigmatic Welshman evoked deep stirrings of hope and desire that he didn't think he'd ever truly experienced before. He felt vulnerable and uncertain, knowing that it would be all too easy for Ianto to break his heart. Ianto's issues and struggles also complicated things. Jack had been sincere in assuring Ianto that none of those issues mattered to him, yet the awkward discussion about Ianto's financial situation had highlighted how fraught with difficulties their tenuous relationship might become.

Jack was pragmatic enough to know that any worthwhile relationship was bound to endure complications. The arrival of Ianto Jones in his life had been unexpected, but it was undoubtedly a precious gift. He couldn't turn his back on the chance to forge a relationship with Ianto. He didn't want to endure a lifelong regret for what might have been.

Stepping out of his car, Jack was surprised to see Ianto's suited form walking briskly towards him. He'd obviously been waiting by the building's front door for Jack's arrival. Ianto had suggested that they meet at the restaurant, but Jack had wanted to do things properly. He'd insisted on collecting Ianto and driving to the restaurant together. He suspected that Ianto was embarrassed about him seeing where he lived, but as Jack gazed at the unremarkable building, he didn't think it looked too bad. It was drab and a little neglected, but he'd seen worse. With limited means, Ianto had to be practical, and there wasn't any shame in that.

Jack's breath caught in his throat as his eyes roamed over the younger man. Ianto was attired in a perfectly tailored charcoal grey suit, without his customary waistcoat, giving him a more youthful appearance, and enhancing the lean lines of his tall, slim physique. The suit appeared to be the same one Ianto had been wearing the first time they'd met. Jack wondered if that was symbolic, since it was his admiration of Ianto's suit on that fateful day that had ultimately brought them together. However, it was the rest of Ianto's outfit which particularly caught Jack's attention. Instead of the usual, sombre, white shirt and tie, Ianto was wearing a deep red dress shirt, paired with a black and red diagonally stripped tie. The overall effect was positively mesmerizing.

"Ianto Jones, you look amazing," Jack declared appreciatively as Ianto came to a stop in front of him, his features as unreadable as ever. "I love the shirt. Red is definitely your colour. And that suit is stunning…"

Jack took a deep breath as he realised he was gushing like a schoolboy, his ability to think and speak coherently arrested by a burning rush of desire.

Ianto's eyes roamed over him with a similar look of appreciation, his cheeks flushing to match the colour of his shirt. "Hi, Jack. Um... thanks... you too. I like your shirt and tie... they go brilliantly with the suit."

Jack had to stifle a sigh of relief. He'd apparently passed inspection. "Is this the suit you were wearing the first time we met?" he asked, reaching forward to trace his fingers along the line of Ianto's shoulder.

Ianto looked surprised. "Yes, it is. You remembered."

"I wouldn't forget something like that," Jack assured him. "I was just thinking that if it wasn't for this suit, we might not be here right now."

"I suppose that's true," Ianto said, looking thoughtful.

Jack smiled. "Shall we go?"

"Yep," Ianto replied, matching Jack's smile with one of his own.

Jack opened the passenger side door and held it open until Ianto was settled inside. Closing it firmly, he hurried around to the other side and climbed in. Starting the engine, he gave Ianto an admiring sideways glance, noticing that the younger man was examining the interior of the car with great interest.

"Behave yourself, Mr. Jones," Jack admonished with a laugh. "Just remember you're on a date with me, not my car."

"Hmm. I do love this car," Ianto said, turning to look at him with an impish grin.

Jack was startled when Ianto suddenly leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. "Thanks for this, Jack," he murmured before settling back in his seat and fastening his seat belt.

With a grin plastered on his face, Jack eased the car down the street. It was definitely a long time since he'd felt this excited about spending an evening with someone.

The drive to the restaurant was short and uneventful. Jack had settled on an Italian restaurant in Penarth, having eschewed his original choice for a less expensive alternative. A couple of his colleagues had recommended it, and he hoped it wouldn't be too disappointing.

The need to compromise had annoyed him at first. He'd wanted their evening to be perfect. He hadn't cared about the cost of the nicer bay-side venue, but he'd realised the evening wouldn't be particularly enjoyable if Ianto was fretting over the price of everything on the menu. It didn't bother him that the younger man was financially constrained, but he liked the idea of treating them to some nice things, at least occasionally. Besides, it was as much for his benefit as it was for Ianto's.

Jack considered himself to be fairly sensible about money and, for the most part, not overly extravagant. He saved regularly, and he didn't live beyond his means, but he also didn't believe in squirreling away every penny for a future that might never eventuate. His past losses had taught him some painful lessons about the fleeting and fragile nature of life.

After parking and turning off the engine, Jack swiftly climbed out of the car. He had the passenger door open just as Ianto was unfastening his seat belt. He looked at the other man worriedly. Ianto had been rather subdued during the trip, and Jack hoped he wasn't having second thoughts.

"You okay?" Jack asked after closing the car door.

"Yes, I'm fine." Ianto replied, gazing over at the restaurant. "This looks nice."

Jack winced inwardly at Ianto's assessment and the noticeable lack of emotion in his voice. Jack couldn't blame him. The bland grey brick exterior of the building with its small, narrow windows looked distinctly uninspiring. He'd wanted their first proper date to be at somewhere a damn sight better than 'nice'. He'd wanted spectacular and romantic.

"I hope it's okay," Jack said anxiously, feeling defeated as he thought that this inauspicious beginning didn't bode well. Summoning a smile, he reached for Ianto's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Come on, let's go inside."

Much to Jack's relief, the interior of the restaurant was a pleasant surprise. Rustic furnishings and rich, warm colours combined with soft lighting, providing a quaint, intimate atmosphere. Jack had requested a privately positioned table when he'd made the booking, and he was pleased when their waitress seated them at a table tucked away in the far corner of the dining area, positioned well away from the kitchen and bustle around the bar.

While perusing the wine menu, Ianto having deferred the selection to him, Jack looked up and noticed the other man glancing around furtively. The restaurant wasn't especially crowded, but they'd received a number of curious looks as they'd entered and been escorted to their table.

Pushing aside his disappointment with Ianto's apparent discomfort, Jack tried to smile reassuringly. "There's nothing to worry about. For all anyone knows, we could just be friends."

"But we're not," Ianto said in a sharp tone of voice that caught Jack by surprise. Ianto immediately looked apologetic. "I mean, we're friends, but…"

"Yes, we are," Jack said firmly. "I'd like to think we're more than that too."

A flash of anxiety passed over Ianto's features. "I don't want to deny that we're on a date, Jack."

"But this is all freaking you out a bit, isn't it?" Jack asked. "Being on a date with a man… an obviously older man."

"A bit," Ianto agreed, shaking his head with apparent frustration. "Sorry, I know it shouldn't. But I want to be here, Jack. Please don't think otherwise."

Jack nodded, hoping he could trust the apparent sincerity in Ianto's voice. The waitress reappeared, and he momentarily turned his attention to ordering a modestly priced bottle of white wine he'd selected from the menu.

"Does our age difference still bother you?" Jack asked hesitantly after the waitress had moved away again.

He knew that he shouldn't push the issue, but he wanted to try to find a way of getting past it. If he could better understand the fundamental problem from Ianto's point of view, he thought there might be something he could do to alleviate Ianto's concerns.

Ianto looked pained. "Maybe. I don't know. You have to admit that my life is a bit of a disaster. I just don't know what I have to offer… and when people look at us, what do they think? Do they think I'm trying to take advantage?"

"Are you?" Jack asked mildly.

"No, of course not!" Ianto retorted in a low voice, his eyes narrowing.

The waitress returned with their bottle of wine and filled their glasses after Jack had perfunctorily tasted it and nodded in approval. She handed them food menus and moved away again.

"How could you think that?" Ianto demanded, still glaring at Jack.

"I don't," Jack replied calmly, taking a sip of his wine. "So, why does it matter what anyone else thinks? They don't know anything about us. If people make narrow-minded, superficial assumptions, that's their problem, not ours."

Ianto's expression began to clear. "I suppose that's true."

"Anyway, maybe people see us together and think I'm taking advantage of you," Jack said teasingly. "I have to admit it's not exactly bad for my ego to be seen with you."

"So, that's all I'm good for?" Ianto asked wryly, eyes narrowing again but this time there was an undercurrent of amusement in his voice. "Stroking your ego?"

Jack gave him a devilish grin. "Amongst other things."

Ianto rolled his eyes, and Jack laughed. "Try the wine. You'll have to drink most of it anyway since I'm driving."

Ianto picked up his glass and took a small sip, pursing his lips. He nodded a moment later. "Well, that shouldn't be too much of a hardship. It's very nice."

Jack smiled and studied Ianto's handsome, youthful features as he thought about the younger man's earlier admission. It pained Jack to know that Ianto actually thought he didn't deserve to be with him, or perhaps with anyone else for that matter. Ianto might be young, but he had depth and substance. It was more than Jack could say about many people he'd known.

As Ianto placed the glass back down again, Jack impulsively reached across the table and laced their fingers together. He stroked his thumb lightly over the delicate skin on the inside of Ianto's wrist. Ianto looked at him in surprise, but his fingers tightened as though he were desperate for the reassurance of Jack's touch. Much to his delight, Jack was discovering that Ianto was far more tactile than he'd first thought.

"You're wrong you know," Jack said, causing Ianto to frown at him in confusion. "You have plenty to offer. Just because you haven't been in the world for as many years as I have, doesn't make that any less true." He squeezed Ianto's hand. "Trust me on that, okay?"

A myriad of emotions played across Ianto's features. He glanced down at their joined hands and then looked up to meet Jack's eyes, a tentative smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "I trust you, Jack. I'm just not very good at trusting myself."

Jack was taken aback by Ianto's words, and the earnest sincerity in the younger man's voice tugged at his heart. Not trusting himself to respond, Jack just smiled back and with a final brush of his fingers against the palm of Ianto's hand, he released his grip and turned his attention to the menu.

"So, what are you going to have?" Jack asked after a moment, gazing up at Ianto who was studying the menu intently.

They began discussing the food options enthusiastically, and to Jack's immense relief, the evening seemed to improve after its tenuous beginning.

The food and wine proved to be surprisingly good. They shared a large serving of bruschetta with a mixture of tomatoes, olives and prosciutto for the entrée, followed by a delicious main course of pasta primavera for himself and beef ravioli for Ianto. Jack had insisted they try each other's meals, unabashedly pushing a fork-full of his food into Ianto's reluctant mouth. When Ianto had hesitantly returned the favour, he'd found that the younger man's selection had been equally as good as his own.

Ianto appeared to relax and he became more talkative as the evening progressed. He didn't seem to be entirely at ease, but he was obviously making an effort to push past his discomfort. Jack was pleasantly surprised to discover that Ianto was exceptionally well read and could talk intelligently about several of Jack's favourite novels and authors. Ianto's reading included classic and contemporary authors, and as Jack had suspected, they shared a love of science-fiction, both in books and movies. He also discovered that Ianto had a fondness for poetry. The thought of Ianto reading poetry in his lilting Welsh accent sent shivers of desire surging along Jack's spine.

It was a while later when Jack was making his way back from the bathroom, having excused himself while they waited for their dessert to be served. He noticed an elderly woman on the other side of the restaurant, smiling at him and gesturing for his attention. Pausing mid-stride, he smiled as he recognised the thin, white-haired lady. He altered his course, walking over to the table where she was sitting with a distinguished looking man who appeared to be in his early to mid-seventies.

"Hi, Estelle," Jack said as he came to a stop at their table and smiled warmly at the woman and man in turn. "Fancy seeing you here. How are you?"

"Hello, Jack. Oh, how lovely to see you," she said lightly, looking up at him with bright, dancing eyes, while the man smiled at Jack and then looked back at her with an expression of affectionate exasperation. "I'm fine, thank you. I saw you earlier, and I just wanted to say hello. This is my husband, Bernard."

Jack smiled at the man, and shook his hand. "Hi, Bernard. I'm Jack Harkness."

"I don't mean to interrupt your dinner," Estelle continued. "But I just wanted to say that I noticed you and your young man earlier, and I couldn't help but think what a lovely couple you are." She smiled up at him warmly. "You're both wearing such beautiful suits, and you both look so young and handsome."

"Estelle..." her husband admonished, shaking his head at his wife's forthrightness and smiling at Jack apologetically.

"I'm sure Jack doesn't mind, Bernard," she replied without a hint of embarrassment.

Jack laughed. "No, of course I don't. Thank you for the compliment, Estelle. Actually, my dinner companion made both of our suits himself," he said proudly. "Mine is brand new... he just finished making it for me last week."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Estelle said with obvious delight as she gazed over Jack with an astute eye. "It's a beautiful suit. He's obviously very talented. Do you think he'd mind coming over and saying hello?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Jack replied and looked over to their table where Ianto was watching them curiously.

Jack gestured for Ianto to join them. Ianto frowned for a moment, but then he stood and slowly walked towards them. "Jack?" he asked inquiringly when he reached Jack's side.

"Ianto, this is Estelle Cole and her husband, Bernard," Jack explained. "They wanted to say hi. Estelle is one of Torchwood's authors. She's written a wonderful series of novels inspired by the Cottingley Fairies photographs. Estelle was just commenting on our suits. Estelle, Bernard, this is Ianto Jones."

"Hello," Ianto said politely, smiling at them. "Nice to meet you both."

"Lovely to meet you, Ianto," Estelle said graciously. "Yes, I was just telling Jack how much I've been admiring your beautiful suits. Jack said you made them yourself?"

"Thank you, that's very kind," Ianto replied. "Yes, they're hand-made. I run a small tailoring shop."

"Ianto's the finest tailor in Cardiff," Jack boasted, smiling widely.

"Jack!" Ianto groaned, sending a glare at the older man and looking acutely embarrassed.

"Well, it's true," Jack said without apology.

Estelle looked at them both fondly. "I'm sure Jack's right. What's the name of your shop, dear?"

"Jones and Son. Um... it's in the phone book."

"Here's all the details," Jack said, extracting his wallet, pulling out one of Ianto's business cards, and sliding it across the table to Estelle as Ianto raised his eyebrows with a look of astonishment. "If you ever need any tailoring work done, or, Bernard, if you ever want a new suit, Ianto's your man."

"We'll definitely keep that in mind," Bernard replied with a polite smile. He cleared his throat and looked pointedly at his wife. "Estelle, I'm sure Jack and Ianto want to be getting back to their dinner."

Estelle nodded and smiled at her husband. "Oh, yes, of course they do. It was lovely to meet you, Ianto, and it was so good to see you again, Jack. Take care of each other, won't you?"

"We will," Jack assured her and smiled back warmly. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Ianto nodded at them and smiled politely before Jack ushered him back towards their table.

"Well, that was nice," Jack commented as they sat down again. "Estelle said we make a lovely couple. Of course, she didn't know this was our first proper date." He smiled at Ianto, the idea of the two of them being an actual couple filling him with a sense of warmth and happiness that took him by surprise. "I think she was rather taken with you. Not that I can blame her for finding you irresistible."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jack," Ianto said, his tone a mixture of admonishment and self-deprecation. He rolled his eyes but Jack saw the adorable flush that highlighted his cheekbones.

Jack laughed. "You're cute when you're embarrassed."

"So, I'm not cute the rest of the time then?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, no, you're definitely cute all the time," Jack assured him. "But there's a whole range of levels of cuteness, and a moment ago, you went right off the scale."

Ianto just shook his head with a look of exasperation. Then his expression changed, and a thought seemed to occur to him. He frowned and looked at Jack suspiciously. "Why did you have some of my business cards in your wallet?"

Jack shrugged. "I grabbed a few from your front counter the other day. Just in case I'm talking to anyone who might need a tailor. That's okay isn't it?"

Ianto's features seemed to cloud over, and Jack worried that Ianto might be annoyed with him. But after an awkward moment, the younger man's expression cleared. "Yeah, that's fine. Um... thanks."

Their dessert arrived, and Jack groaned quietly with pleasure as he devoured a spoonful of tiramisu. He waved his spoon at the plate. "Have some," he said to Ianto. "It's sensational."

Ianto had said that he couldn't eat an entire serving himself, so Jack had asked for a larger single serving with two spoons. Ianto reached forward and timidly scooped up a tiny morsel. Jack watched in fascination as Ianto consumed the dessert, his eyes flickering closed as he slowly slid the spoon from his mouth. A sliver of pink tongue darted out and swiped slowly across his lips. Jack swallowed hard.

Ianto smiled innocently. "Mmm. It is very good," he said, taking another small spoonful. "I really am full though. You eat the rest of it."

Barely stifling a frustrated groan, Jack shoveled another spoonful of the dessert into his mouth. He quickly finished off what was left of the dessert while Ianto watched him intently.

Picking up his glass, Ianto drank the last mouthful of wine before settling the empty glass down again. He looked up at Jack with a gentle smile. "This was a lovely dinner, Jack," he said politely. "Thank you."

Jack nodded and smiled back. "My pleasure. I wasn't sure about the restaurant, but it turned out to be better than I expected. So, would you like to stay for coffee? Or…"

Ianto glanced around quickly, then leaned forward. "Or, we could go back to yours?" he suggested quietly. "If you want to, that is."

"Absolutely," Jack said, hoping he didn't sound too eager. "If you like, you can stay over again? I can drive you home in the morning before work." He paused, remembering his commitment to take things slowly. "I'm not trying to pressure you, Ianto. I can take you home tonight if that's what you want."

Ianto shook his head. "No. I'd like to stay again."

Jack smiled, happy that the night wasn't going to end yet, and even happier that Ianto didn't want it to end either.


	9. Chapter 9

Enjoy the new chapter! Thanks to everyone who so kindly reviewed the last one. Thanks also to my talented beta Prothrombintime.

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

Ianto watched as Jack closed the door of his flat behind them. The older man turned around and looked at him intently. His eyes seemed to radiate the same potent mixture of excitement, anticipation and nervousness that Ianto himself was feeling. It was strange to think of Jack being nervous when he always seemed so sure of himself, but he was learning to see beyond Jack's confident exterior. They both veiled themselves behind carefully cultivated masks. Ianto was beginning to wonder if, beyond those masks, the two of them weren't quite as different as he'd first thought.

Jack stepped closer, an almost timid smile playing over his lips. Without further thought, Ianto closed the gap between them, bringing their bodies together. Their arms slid beneath their jackets, wrapping around each other as their mouths collided hungrily. The kiss slowed and grew deeper, Jack's lips gliding effortlessly against his own as their tongues tangled and explored with single-minded determination. Enveloped by Jack's warm presence and familiar, masculine scent, Ianto was consumed by an intense surge of desire. He wanted this perfect, uncomplicated moment to last for as long as possible.

The kiss continued for several minutes, but finally they broke apart, both of them breathing heavily. They clung to each other, their foreheads touching, and Ianto felt the firmness of Jack's arousal pressing against his hip. Self-conscious of his own aroused state, Ianto had to resist the urge to pull away. He envied how comfortable Jack was with his sexuality. He wondered if he'd ever manage to be equally at ease.

Jack's hand shifted from the base of Ianto's back and reached up to cradle his face. The tips of his fingers stroked lightly over Ianto's cheek, and Ianto leaned into the touch, reveling in the intimacy and tenderness of the simple gesture. Despite the size and strength of Jack's hands, he was always incredibly gentle.

Jack paused and suddenly looked uncertain. "Do you want some coffee first? I don't want you to think that I…"

"I don't," Ianto said hastily, cutting him off. "Later, maybe?" he suggested, glancing down at the visibly straining bulges in their trousers.

Jack's eyes followed Ianto's gaze. His expression cleared, and he grinned suggestively. He grasped Ianto's hand and tugged him towards the bedroom.

Ianto was nervous as he stood at the foot of Jack's bed while Jack flicked on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a soft, warm glow. It wasn't a large room, and Jack's bed consumed most of the space, but Ianto liked the cosy, intimate atmosphere. Jack extracted two thick wooden hangers from the built-in wardrobe and dropped them casually onto the bed. After loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar, Jack slipped off his jacket and set it down carefully, smoothing out the fabric with gentle reverence.

Ianto reached up and began to unknot his own tie, but Jack halted him, resting his hand over both of Ianto's. "Don't," he said quietly. "Let me undress you?"

Ianto dropped his hands back to his sides, a tremor of anticipation coursing along his spine. He nodded nervously. "All right."

Jack grasped Ianto's face in his hands and captured his mouth in another slow, exploratory kiss. Moving to stand behind him, Jack traced his hands up Ianto's arms and over his shoulders. He eased Ianto's jacket off and placed it on the bed next to his own. Ianto stood perfectly still, his anticipation building as Jack's hands moved to the knot of his tie. He trembled as Jack pressed a series of light kisses across the back of his neck, just above his shirt collar.

"Is this okay?" Jack murmured, his warm breath ghosting over Ianto's ear and teasing at the sensitive skin of his throat.

"Yeah," Ianto replied in little more than a whisper. He took a deep breath. "Just a bit nervous."

"It's okay," Jack said between kisses. "I'd never want to do anything you're not comfortable with. Close your eyes and try to relax. Just let me take care of you."

Jack's insistent fingers finished working on Ianto's tie, sliding it off and tossing it onto the bed. After unfastening the top button of Ianto's shirt, Jack's hands stroked down the length of his torso, while his lips pressed against the delicate skin just below Ianto's ear.

Jack pulled at the bottom of Ianto's shirt, easing it out from where it was tucked into his suit trousers. "I want to make you feel good, Ianto."

Ianto felt a powerful rush of arousal. He didn't doubt Jack's ability to take him to new heights of pleasure. He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation of Jack's skillful hands as they moved beneath his shirt and stroked over the sensitive skin of his belly. Jack began unfastening Ianto's shirt buttons, guiding the fabric apart with painstaking slowness, his fingers brushing over each new area of carefully unveiled flesh. Ianto blindly unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves while Jack's breath remained warm and reassuring against his neck.

With Ianto's shirt hanging loosely on his body, Jack pulled back the collar and kissed from his neck and along his shoulder, nipping lightly at the skin. Jack's hands roamed up and down Ianto's torso, his fingers tangling in Ianto's chest hair before rubbing teasingly over his nipples, causing Ianto to release an involuntary gasp.

"You like that, don't you?" Jack said in a low, seductive voice as he slipped off Ianto's shirt and resuming his exploration of Ianto's upper body with his hands and lips.

"God, yes," Ianto replied with a groan.

Tilting back his head, he reveled in the feeling of Jack's agile fingers caressing his bare chest while Jack sucked softly at the junction of his shoulder and neck. The heat of Jack's body surrounded him, simultaneously comforting and arousing.

Jack's hands trailed downwards to unbuckle Ianto's belt. Ianto was startled to realise that Jack had moved to kneel at his feet. Jack tugged off Ianto's shoes and then slowly peeled off his socks. He unfastened Ianto's trousers, slowly easing them down his legs and past his knees. Ianto obligingly lifted his left leg and then his right, allowing Jack to remove his trousers completely. With his eyes still closed, Ianto felt Jack's face nuzzle against his crotch. Jack breathed in deeply while his lips moved over the skin just above the waistband of Ianto's briefs.

Jack hummed appreciatively, his cheek rubbing up and down the length of Ianto's straining and infuriatingly confined erection. He repeated the action several times before pulling away and standing up.

"Stay there," Jack said, his voice soft and close to Ianto's ear. "I'm going to hang up our suits so they won't get creased."

Ianto nodded, bemoaning the sudden loss of contact. He listened to the sounds of Jack's movements as the older man undressed and hung up their clothes. Achingly hard and desperate to escape the increasingly tight confines of his underwear, Ianto clenched his hands into fists, quivering with the need to touch himself and gain some relief.

He only barely managed to resist the almost overwhelming temptation. He was thoroughly enjoying this slow seduction, despite his nervousness, and he didn't want it to end prematurely. It was so different from his past experiences, which had been mostly hurried and often regrettable fumbles. This was something entirely new and wonderful, and his nerve-endings tingled with the visceral thrill.

Jack was in front of him again, sealing their mouths together in another deep, unhurried kiss, while his fingers stroked down the length of Ianto's spine and settled on his hips. Ianto wanted to reach out and pull Jack back in when the kiss inevitably ended, but Jack apparently had other ideas. He trailed light kisses down Ianto's throat and over his chest, taking time to slowly tease each nipple with his teeth and tongue. Ianto felt his breath hitch in response to the sensual onslaught.

Kneeling down again, Jack curled his fingers under the waistband of Ianto's underwear and tugged downwards, gently lifting each of Ianto's feet in turn. Ianto sighed with relief. He could feel Jack's hot breath ghosting over his stretched and over-sensitised skin, and he tried to imagine what he'd find if he looked into Jack's eyes at that moment.

He was very aware that he was now completely naked. While Jack had already seen all of him and been nothing but complimentary, this time it felt different. This time, it wasn't just his body that was exposed and open to such intense scrutiny.

Jack's hands shifted around to his backside, exploring and kneading gently. Ianto tensed involuntarily, causing Jack to pause. Ianto imagined him looking up with concern. Willing himself to clamp down on the irrational fear, he recalled his admission to Jack during dinner. He trusted Jack, and somehow he knew instinctively that the older man would never hurt him, either intentionally or out of selfishness for his own needs.

Ianto took a deep, calming breath and relaxed, grateful that Jack was waiting patiently and hadn't said anything. After a moment, he felt Jack's hands shift and settle on his hips again.

"You're so beautiful, Ianto," Jack murmured.

Ianto was about to protest and tell Jack he was daft, but something about the sincerity and conviction in Jack's voice stopped the words in his throat. Before he could think about that any further, Jack took one of Ianto's balls into his mouth and sucked gently as his tongue massaged the delicate flesh. Ianto drew in a sharp breath and promptly lost the ability to form coherent thoughts. Jack repeated the process on its partner before licking along the length of Ianto's shaft, lapping his tongue hungrily over the leaking tip.

"Jack..." Ianto murmured, the sensation of the older man's hot, wet mouth almost unbearably pleasurable. He reached forward and found Jack's shoulders, wanting to draw him closer. "Please, Jack... want to feel you... all of you..."

Standing up, Jack discarded his briefs, and he pulled Ianto into a close embrace, bringing the full length of their naked bodies together. Jack's mouth captured Ianto's again in a fierce, impassioned kiss. They rubbed against each other, Jack's hard length equal to Ianto's own tortuous arousal. Their hands moved relentlessly over every inch of available flesh. Ianto could taste himself on Jack's tongue as he lost himself in the perfect sensation of the heat and friction of their flushed bodies. He loved the feel of Jack's firm, smooth chest pressed against his own, and he groaned as their nipples brushed against one another.

Their kiss ended with a mutual gasp. Ianto finally opened his eyes and found himself staring into Jack's gently smiling face. Jack reached back and tossed aside the bed covers. He tugged at Ianto and they tumbled onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, Ianto ending up on his back with Jack pressing down on top of him.

Jack paused and looked down at him with concern. "Okay?"

Ianto nodded and pulled Jack down into another demanding kiss, arching his hips to press their erections together, causing Jack to moan loudly against his lips. Jack pulled back, breaking their kiss and thrusting himself against Ianto.

"I can't last much longer," Jack murmured. "Oh, god... you feel good... so good."

"Mmm... yes... I'm close too," Ianto muttered as he mirrored Jack's movements, roaming his hands over the planes of Jack's broad back and down to his backside.

Jack exhaled a stuttering gasp. "Touch me there... please." He paused and reached for Ianto's hand while resting on one elbow. "Here..." He took each of Ianto's fingers into his mouth and wet them liberally.

Ianto realised with surprise what Jack wanted. Reaching down, he teased his slick fingers over Jack's entrance, his other arm wrapped around Jack's shoulders, clasping at the back of Jack's neck and tangling his fingers in Jack's thick hair as they resumed moving against one another. Their mouths crashed together again while Ianto eased his middle finger into Jack, immediately feeling Jack's heat and tightness. Jack groaned and canted his hips upwards before pressing down again, meeting Ianto's upward thrust.

Ianto couldn't hold back any longer. With a deep groan, he gasped Jack's name and climaxed, shooting his release in powerful bursts over his stomach and chest as his body trembled with ripples of pleasure. Jack followed mere seconds later, shuddering as he added to the coating on Ianto's torso. He collapsed down next to Ianto, pulling him into his arms as they both gasped for breath.

Gazing down at himself, Ianto couldn't help but admire his debauched state. His heart pounded in his chest, he was flushed and sweating, and his body was slick with his and Jack's come. It felt incredible.

He reached down and spread some of the thick fluid further across his chest, finding the sensation of Jack's essence mixed with his own incredibly erotic. Jack's hand joined his, moving in slow, lazy patterns. Jack dipped his head down to Ianto's crotch, burying his nose in the damp expanse of thick hair. Ianto watched in fascination as Jack licked a long, slow path all the way up to the hollow of his throat. He grinned down at Ianto, licking his lips lewdly before bringing their mouths together in a deep kiss. Ianto felt his eyes widen as Jack's tongue tangled with his own, sharing their combined taste. Ianto pulled Jack closer and deepened their kiss.

"Back in a sec," Jack said with a satisfied smile after he eventually pulled away. "I'll just get something to clean us up."

Ianto nodded, breathing out a contented sigh as he watched Jack's naked form climb off the bed and leave the room. Feeling strangely liberated, he surprised himself by having no immediate desire to cover up his body. He stretched out lazily as he realised he'd just had what was undoubtedly the most intense and pleasurable sexual experience of his life.

Jack returned with a damp, warm flannel and settled back on the bed, wrapping an arm around Ianto's shoulders as he gently cleaned them both.

"I love seeing you like this," Jack said with unmistakeable admiration as he wiped over Ianto's stomach. He paused and turned to look up at Ianto, reaching up and teasing his fingers through Ianto's hair. "All messy and ruffled and undone."

Ianto laughed, surprising himself with how uninhibited it sounded. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I like it too."

Tangled together, they kissed languidly as they continued to explore each others bodies, fingers dancing over cooling flesh as they worked to discover all of their most sensitive areas.

Ianto took a moment to pull back and simply feast his eyes on the other man. He couldn't imagine ever tiring of looking at, kissing, or touching Jack. The older man's mostly hairless body was a stark and tantalising contrast to his own. Jack's skin wasn't quite as pale as Ianto's, and while Jack was broader and more toned, he wasn't overly muscular. His appearance was one of someone who obviously looked after himself but wasn't obsessive about it. He also liked that he and Jack were about the same size, with Ianto having a very slight advantage in length if not girth. Neither of them were overly big, but at the same time, he was fairly sure they were above average. That, at least, was one aspect of being with Jack that he didn't have any anxiety about.

"Like what you see?" Jack asked in a mischievous tone, his eyes roaming over Ianto with a look of fervent appreciation.

"Absolutely." Ianto grinned and leaned in to claim Jack's mouth.

It wasn't long before he was achingly hard again. Glancing down, he was relieved to find that Jack was similarly aroused. He reached down and stroked Jack gently, causing the older man to moan and bury his face against Ianto's neck. "Want to do that again?" Ianto suggested, adding the barest hint of challenge to his voice.

Jack chuckled and pulled back until their eyes met. "You're as insatiable as I am."

Ianto just shrugged, not entirely sure if he should take Jack's declaration as a compliment. He suspected that Jack had a rather voracious sexual appetite, but in this one instance, Ianto had the advantage of youth on his side. He was pretty sure he could keep up with Jack.

Jack's expression became more serious. "Ianto... I'd love to feel you inside me." He paused and frowned slightly. "But only if you want to? If it's too soon..."

Ianto shook his head, desire competing with anxiety. "I want to. I... I've been trying to imagine what it would feel like."

Jack smiled at him reassuringly and reached over to the drawer of the bedside table. He fumbled around for a moment and then closing the drawer again, he pressed the supplies into Ianto's hand. "There's nothing to worry about," he said in a gentle, soothing tone. "I want this. I've wanted it since we first met."

Without further preamble, Jack spread himself out on his back, and Ianto settled between Jack's legs. Coating his fingers liberally with lubricant, he tentatively began preparing Jack's body. He concentrated on the task, determinedly keeping the memories of his previous experience firmly pushed aside.

Jack responded to Ianto's careful ministrations with soft moans and whispered words of encouragement, and that helped Ianto to relax. Curling his fingers slightly, he attempted to locate the sensitive bundle of nerves within Jack, while he lightly massaged his thumb over Jack's perineum. He was rewarded with a deep groan of pleasure as Jack trembled and pushed down, forcing Ianto's fingers deeper. Ianto continued to probe and stretch, reveling in the heat and feel of Jack before pulling out, adding more lubricant to his fingers, and repeating the process.

"I'm ready," Jack said as Ianto pulled out again. He looked down at Jack worriedly but Jack simply pulled him forward and kissed him.

"You won't hurt me, I promise. Here, let me..." Jack ripped open the wrapper and after a couple of gentle strokes, he slid the condom over Ianto's length, causing Ianto to tremble in anticipation. Jack settled back onto the bed.

Ianto took a deep, calming breath. He eased into Jack, pushing slowly forward until he was fully surrounded by Jack's tight, smooth heat. It was better and more intense than he ever could have imagined. Jack moaned beneath him, his head thrown back as he murmured Ianto's name. Ianto closed his eyes, just taking a moment to lose himself in the sensation of being buried so deeply inside this amazing man.

Opening his eyes again, he gazed down at Jack. "Are you okay?"

Jack smiled up at him and nodded reassuringly. "Perfect."

Ianto established a slow rhythm of long, deep strokes, gripping Jack's shoulders as he leaned in to bring their bodies closer together. Jack writhed beneath him, his legs wrapping tightly around Ianto's waist while his hands gripped Ianto's biceps. Jack's eyes drifted shut, a euphoric expression filling his features as he rocked his hips to meet each of Ianto's strokes.

"Look at me, Jack." Ianto pulled out and surged forward again. Jack's eyes snapped open, and Ianto was pulled down into a feverish kiss.

Their mouths pulled apart reluctantly, and Ianto pressed his face against Jack's neck, breathing him in, while Jack's mouth latched onto his shoulder, sucking and nipping at his flushed skin. Ianto continued pushing into Jack, altering his angle slightly. He reached down and started stroking Jack in counterpoint to his thrusts. Jack's eyes were wide open and locked onto Ianto's as he mumbled barely coherent words of encouragement and adoration.

Knowing that he had been able to reduce the far more experienced, older man into a state of utter abandonment aroused Ianto beyond measure. He felt desired and worthy... empowered even. In that moment all of his concerns about not being enough for Jack slipped blissfully into a distant corner of his mind.

Ianto quickened his pace slightly, realising they were both incredibly close. Jack squeezed down around him, intensifying the already overwhelming sensations. With one more deep thrust, Ianto cried out and toppled over the edge, consumed by blistering waves of pleasure. It was more intense than anything he could remember feeling before, and he couldn't imagine ever getting enough.

Trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm, Ianto pulled back and pushed into Jack one final time. Jack responded with a low, guttural groan, pulling Ianto down and bringing their sweat-dampened chests together.

Jack climaxed, shooting up in several powerful streams between their bodies. They clung tightly to each other, both gasping desperately for breath. After a minute or so, Ianto reluctantly slipped out of Jack, and they collapsed together in a limp heap on the bed.

"Wow." Jack kissed Ianto's shoulder and pulled him closer. "That was... hmm... I don't think there are words to describe that."

"Bloody spectacular?" Ianto suggested wryly, pressing his face into Jack's shoulder and drawing in a deep breath.

Jack chuckled quietly, the sound reverberating along Ianto's spine and filling him with a startling sense of profound contentment.

"Well, that's a good place to start," Jack agreed. "And I think I've just discovered another one of your many talents."

Ianto wondered if he was imagining the hint of pride mixed with awe in Jack's voice. He wasn't deluded enough to think that he was better or even equal to Jack's probably countless past sexual partners, but he was relieved that he hadn't been a disappointment. "Well, there is quite a list," he quipped in a teasing tone.

"Oh, of that, I have absolutely no doubt." Jack kissed his shoulder again. "Hopefully, I'll uncover some more of those hidden talents very soon."

Ianto took a moment to remove and clumsily tie off his used condom. Jack casually took it from him and tossed it into the small bin in the nearby corner of the room.

Ianto looked searchingly into Jack's eyes as the older man's arms wrap around him again. "I didn't hurt you?" he asked worriedly.

Jack reached for Ianto's hand and wrapped their fingers together. "No, not at all. Next time, you can go harder if you like. I can take it, and it can be fun to let go a little." He squeezed Ianto's hand reassuringly. "Not that this wasn't perfect."

"Oh... er... okay," Ianto said hesitantly.

He was pleased that Jack wanted there to be a next time, but he wasn't sure how he felt about Jack's suggestion after his own experience and some of the things he'd witnessed. While he recognised the feeling as emotional and irrational, he couldn't shake the idea that rough sex equated with searing pain.

"It's just that..." He paused awkwardly and glanced down at their joined hands. "I'd never want to hurt you."

Jack nodded. "I know. It's all about trust and communication. As long as we trust each other to slow down or stop if one of us says the word, that's the important thing. And as we spend more time together, we'll learn what we both like and dislike." He smiled disarmingly, his eyes bright and hopeful. "I really hope we can spend a lot more time together, Ianto."

"Me too." Ianto leaned in and claimed Jack's mouth, hoping to communicate everything he was feeling, but unable and unwilling to put into words. He bit down on his lip nervously after they'd broken apart again. "Jack... I know you said it doesn't matter, but I want to get past my... um, issues. If you don't mind helping me, that is?"

"Of course I don't mind, Ianto, I don't mind at all. It means a lot that you want me to help you." Jack brushed his lips lightly against Ianto's cheek. "We'll work on it together, okay? One step at a time."

Ianto nodded, grateful for Jack's patience and selflessness. "Thanks, Jack."

He nestled closer to Jack, settling his head on Jack's shoulder as his thoughts drifted. He wanted this new and unfamiliar sense of warm, contented peace to last just a little while longer. Jack breathed out a satisfied sigh and held onto him tightly. Ianto hoped that Jack was feeling similarly content.

"Do you feel like a drink?" Jack asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes. "It's probably a little late now for coffee, but maybe some water and a nightcap before we go to sleep?"

Ianto reluctantly lifted his head so he could look into Jack's eyes. "That sounds good. I'm a bit thirsty."

Jack pressed a quick kiss to Ianto's lips, then reached for the flannel from where he'd left it on the bedside table earlier, and quickly cleaned them both before clambering off the bed.

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute. Feel free to use the bathroom. I left your toothbrush from the other day too." Jack grinned cheekily. "I know how you are about cleaning your teeth."

Ianto gave him an exaggerated eye roll accompanied by a mock-glare, and received a delighted laugh as Jack retreated from the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Ianto woke the following morning, a moment of disorientation passing over him as consciousness gradually took hold. He was in a bed that wasn't entirely unfamiliar, yet clearly wasn't his own, and there was the unusual sensation of having no clothing separating his body from the soft, comfortable bedsheets. The sound of steady, deep breathing registered in his ears, filling the otherwise quiet room, and immediately reminding him that he wasn't alone.

Slowly unfurling his limbs, he stretched out and rolled onto his back. Stifling a yawn, he tilted his head and glanced blearily at the alarm clock on the bedside table, noting it was just after six a.m. He'd woken up earlier than usual.

He turned to settle on his other side and gazed upon the man sprawled out on his belly beside him. Jack's head was nestled in his thick pillow, his face turned towards Ianto, and his broad, smooth back visible where the bed covers had slipped down. Diffuse morning light crept in from the edges of the closed blinds on the window, bathing the room in soft shadows, and providing just enough illumination to allow Ianto to study Jack's features.

Ianto smiled, enjoying the opportunity to admire Jack in this rare unanimated state. Jack was usually so exuberant and full of life that it was strange to observe him so quiet and still. He looked peaceful and content, his hair in disarray, and his jawline decorated with a hint of dark stubble. Even in slumber, with his expressive eyes concealed behind heavy eyelids accentuated by thick, dark eyelashes, Jack was breathtakingly handsome.

Shuffling closer, Ianto pressed himself up against Jack's body, while being careful not to wake him, and basked in Jack's radiant warmth. With his head positioned next to Jack's so their noses were almost touching, Ianto realised he was achingly hard again. He wondered if perhaps he was insatiable after all – at least where Jack was concerned. Just the thought of Jack produced stirrings deep inside him unlike anything he'd felt before, while Jack's presence seemed to invoke a heightened sense of arousal that Ianto wasn't sure was entirely healthy. But he decided there were worse things to be addicted to, and he doubted that, being with Jack, he'd ever be left unsatisfied.

Allowing his thoughts to drift, Ianto continued to contemplate the bizarre new direction his life had taken. If someone had told him three weeks earlier that he'd be waking up in the bed of a handsome American man almost ten years his senior, whom he was dating and engaging in mind-blowing sex with, he would have cheerfully pronounced the person as completely mental. He might have even offered to make them a bespoke, yet stylish, straight jacket.

He felt woefully ill-equipped to deal with his new reality. He wasn't sure what he and Jack actually were to each other. Ostensibly they were dating, but he didn't know what that really meant, if anything. He recalled Jack telling him that the elderly lady they'd met at the restaurant, Estelle, had said they made a lovely couple. Jack hadn't seemed to be in the least perturbed by the suggestion. In fact, he'd seemed rather pleased.

Ianto's mind began to race. Was that what he and Jack were? A couple? Were they in a relationship? Was Jack now his boyfriend?

He shuddered inwardly when the word 'boyfriend' entered his thoughts. He wasn't some starry-eyed teenage girl or gay stereotype. All of those words – couple, relationship, boyfriend – seemed loaded with meaning, and they implied some form of commitment and exclusivity. The later certainly wasn't a problem since there was no-one else in his life, but he didn't know if the same applied to Jack. The older man had only mentioned one former relationship and it had sounded like it was completely over. Ianto didn't know if there had been anyone else in Jack's life between when that relationship had ended and he had come along. He didn't like the idea of Jack being with other people while he and Jack were seeing each other, but he wasn't sure how he could subtly raise that particular awkward subject. He didn't want Jack to think of him as needy and possessive. He didn't even know if Jack was looking for something more than uncomplicated and short-term.

Compared to Jack, Ianto felt ridiculously young and inexperienced, although Jack didn't seem to mind that at all. If he did, he was hiding it exceptionally well. Perhaps it was all a novelty for the older man, but the problem with novelties was that they quickly became tiresome. Ianto wasn't sure if he was ready to consider the possibility of a serious relationship with Jack. But if Jack was serious about them, as absurd as that still seemed, then he needed to be sure he serious too. He didn't want to lead Jack on or inadvertently hurt him.

Beyond the intense physical attraction, he felt a definite sense of a connection with Jack. He liked being with Jack. Jack was exciting and unpredictable, he was funny and flirtatious, but he was also affectionate and generous. Beneath Jack's brash, boisterous exterior, there was a sensitive, compassionate, and kind-hearted man.

Ianto watched Jack's eyes move behind his eyelids. "I know you get lonely," he murmured in barely a whisper. "I know because I get lonely too."

He wondered if perhaps that's all they were... two lonely people finding solace in each others arms. He immediately dismissed the thought. It was more than that, he was sure of it. It would be so easy for him to develop deep and genuine feelings for Jack, but he couldn't allow himself to go down that path, not if Jack was going to toss him aside when someone better came along.

His thoughts shifted. Being in public with Jack had been more confronting than he'd expected. Being with some random bloke in a sleazy gay club was one thing, but being out in public in a romantic setting was something else entirely. Part of him didn't care, and he didn't want to deny who he was, but at the same time he didn't want to shout it from the rooftops. He was an intensely private person. He didn't like drawing attention to himself, and he didn't define himself by his sexuality as many people seemed to do.

Ianto remembered Jack's words at the coffee shop, and he realised he was more like Jack in that respect than he'd first thought. He was with Jack because he liked Jack as a person, not specifically because he was a man. Although he loved the physicality and masculinity of being with Jack, it wasn't the only reason he was attracted to him. He worried that Jack had been frustrated and probably disappointed by his discomfort at the restaurant. He'd tried to push past his fears though, and he'd genuinely enjoyed himself. He enjoyed being with Jack, regardless of the setting. He supposed it was just one more stage in coming to terms with his sexuality. A rite of passage. He hoped that with time, he'd feel more at ease in those types of situations.

With an inward sigh, he tried to push away his confused, rambling thoughts. He always over-analysed things. He needed to concentrate on simply enjoying whatever this was with Jack for however long it lasted.

Jack snuffled slightly, interrupting Ianto's ruminations. He shifted against Ianto until they were pressed closer together. Ianto couldn't help but smile again. He closed his eyes and replayed the vivid and intensely erotic memories of the previous night. It had been a night he'd never forget.

A few minutes later he felt a stir of movement and heard a drawing in of breath. He opened his eyes and found Jack looking at him with sleepy blue eyes and a soft, lazy smile.

"Hey," Jack murmured. "Didn't know if you were awake yet."

"Morning," Ianto mumbled in return, his disused voice sounding thick and deep to his ears. "Yeah, I woke up a few minutes ago. I was just dozing."

Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto and pulled their bodies into a close, tangled embrace which Ianto readily accepted and reciprocated. Jack nuzzled his face against Ianto's neck, creating what Ianto decided was yet another very pleasurable sensation as their stubbled skin rubbed together. He held onto Jack and just enjoyed the feel of the other man's warm, relaxed body against his own. Pushing his nose into Jack's hair, he breathed in deeply, and then stifled a moan as Jack's erection shifted against his own.

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked a few moments later, pulling back far enough for their eyes to meet.

Ianto nodded. "Fine. How about you... did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby," Jack replied with a warm smile. "I think you wore me out."

"It might be more accurate to say we wore each other out," Ianto suggested with a soft chuckle.

He remembered how tired he'd been when he'd finally succumbed to sleep with Jack wrapped in his arms. His entire body had felt spent and weary, and his mind had been blanketed in a warm haze. He assumed that was what people referred to as afterglow; a profound sense of well-being and contentment. He'd slept more soundly than he had in what seemed like a very long time.

"True." Jack leaned in and kissed his cheek, lingering for a moment before pulling back again. His expression became curious. "You were smiling when I woke up. What were you thinking about?"

"Oh... nothing in particular... just wool gathering." Ianto averted his gaze, but he felt a spike of guilt from his obvious evasion. He hesitated for a moment before looking reluctantly back into Jack's eyes. "I... uh... I was thinking about last night... about us. It was all new to me..." He cringed inwardly as the words left his mouth. It seemed that he said that about everything when it came to Jack. "But... I... I had an incredible time, Jack."

He wanted to say more. He wanted to somehow get an indication from Jack about what he expected, or what he was hoping might happen between them, but the time didn't seem right for any sort of deeper, and probably painfully awkward, discussion. He didn't know what to say or even where to begin. His thoughts were too confused and disordered.

"I had a fantastic time too." Jack smiled at him affectionately. "I'm glad you had fun. When you said you wanted to stay... I wanted it to be a night neither of us would forget." His smile turned into a suggestive grin. "Speaking of which..."

Ianto didn't have a chance to respond as Jack's hand wrapped around both of their erections, the pleasurable sensation robbing him of the ability to think coherently.

He gasped when Jack began stroking them while teasing his thumb over Ianto's sensitive crown. "Oh... that... ah... that feels good," he muttered, far too aroused to care about how needy he might have sounded.

He clung tightly to Jack while Jack's other arm wrapped around his shoulders. Ianto pressed his face against Jack's chest and rocked his hips back and forward. He decided this was an infinitely better way to begin the day compared to the solitary and often unsatisfying wanks he often indulged in.

Jack's breathless moans matched his own while the older man continued to move his hand with a relentless fervour bordering on desperation. The pace of Jack's movements increased and Ianto drew in a shaky breath. He didn't want it to be over too soon but his need for release was quickly becoming frantic. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

With a few more firm strokes, Jack brought them both to completion, and they slumped against each other, struggling to catch their breaths, and heedless of the sticky state of their bodies.

"Not a bad way to start the day, huh?" Jack asked after they were breathing normally again.

"Hmm... not bad at all," Ianto agreed. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was after six-thirty. He sighed as reality took hold. "We need to get up though, Jack."

Jack let out a deep sigh. "I don't want to," he mumbled against Ianto's chest, sounding decidedly petulant, much to Ianto's amusement. Sometimes he really did feel like the more mature one out of the two of them. Jack tightened his embrace. "I want to stay here with you."

Ianto felt a fluttering in his stomach. He couldn't deny that the idea of spending a day in bed with Jack held a deliciously hedonistic appeal. He could quite easily imagine Jack convincing him to experience all kinds of things he'd never considered before. Perhaps they'd actually get to indulge in that particular fantasy some time when they had a day to themselves. Feeling a stab of disappointment, he knew that wasn't going to be today.

"Come on." Ianto extricated himself from Jack's hold with some difficulty and got to his feet, tugging on Jack's arm until he reluctantly complied with a put-upon groan.

"You're an evil man, Ianto Jones."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "That's not what you were saying last night."

"Well, you could make it up to me," Jack said in a thoughtful tone of voice, a sly smile creeping across his features.

"How?" Ianto asked with trepidation as he reached down and grabbed his discarded underwear from the floor. He looked at Jack suspiciously.

Jack's smile widened, becoming hopeful but more intimate and less self-confident. "Take a shower with me... and let me wash your hair."

Ianto blinked and stared at him in astonishment. Whatever he'd been expecting Jack to say, it hadn't been that. But Jack often managed to surprise him by saying or doing something completely unexpected. "Is this some weird fetish of yours? Because some fetishes should be kept to yourself."

"Where's the fun in that?" Jack asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Ianto couldn't resist toying with Jack just a little bit. "If I say yes, will you behave yourself?"

"Of course I will," Jack replied, looking offended that his character was being questioned, but Ianto could tell it was all an act. "I'll be a perfect gentleman."

"Somehow, I seriously doubt that," Ianto said dryly and dropped his underwear onto the bed.

There was no point being self-conscious around Jack anymore. There wasn't an inch of his body that Jack hadn't touched or examined or kissed. He thought about how strange it was to have someone know his body so intimately. While Jack's request seemed absurd and not really what he thought two blokes should do together, he'd never deny Jack something that was admittedly intriguing, and also another new experience for him. There would undoubtedly be many more.

Jack was looking at him expectantly. Ianto feigned a martyred sigh, knowing that the older man wasn't fooled for a moment. "All right, but if you get to wash my hair, then I'm washing yours."

Jack grinned and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bathroom. "Deal."

###

Jack was sitting in his car, parked in Roath again. He'd just dropped Ianto off, giving the younger man a relaxed wave as he looked back at Jack before entering the front door of his building. With a smile, Jack turned the car around and began his journey to the Torchwood offices.

Despite a somewhat shaky beginning, their evening together had been far better than he could have hoped. He wondered if he was being too fanciful in thinking that it had quite possibly been one of the best nights of his life. Their morning together had been amazing too. He'd thoroughly enjoyed all of their time together, and Ianto had proven himself to be an enthusiastic and considerate sexual partner, and for the most part, surprisingly uninhibited and open-minded. But Jack had enjoyed some highly memorable sexual experiences in the past too, so that in itself wasn't entirely new. As much as he was wildly attracted to Ianto physically, it was the emotional connection he felt with the Welshman that made everything seem different and so much more intense in comparison to his past experiences. He felt a deep, undeniable desire to take care of Ianto. He wanted to bring some happiness into the younger man's otherwise sombre, bleak existence.

This was something new for him and it was both thrilling and terrifying. Ianto was someone with whom Jack could imagine wanting to spend vast amounts of time. He could imagine feeling excited about coming home at the end of a tiring work day and simply pulling Ianto into his arms and holding him. He could imagine quiet hours spent together watching movies... going for long, aimless walks... sitting on a windswept beach gazing out to the horizon... lying side-by-side in the dark of night and talking about anything and everything... along with countless other activities. He could imagine taking Ianto to places he'd never seen before and being overjoyed by the Welshman's reactions to every new sight and sound. More than anything else, he could imagine how it would feel not to be alone and to have that one special person always at his side. He could imagine Ianto being that special person. Ianto could very well be what he'd dreamed of finding... the missing piece that gave his life meaning and happiness.

Jack knew he was being overly sentimental and getting ahead of himself, but he couldn't help wondering if it was possible that Ianto could be feeling similar stirrings. Ianto was obviously struggling with the notion of being involved with another man in something more than a purely sexual relationship. If Ianto was feeling anything beyond physical attraction, it was probably quite terrifying for him. Jack tried to imagine how he would have felt if he was twenty again and in Ianto's position.

He had the impression that Ianto wanted to ask him questions, but didn't know how to go about it. He wasn't quite sure how he should try to deal with that. He didn't want Ianto to feel any pressure or expectations, but he knew that he somehow needed to help Ianto to open up, and feel comfortable talking about whatever was on his mind. Jack wasn't particularly adept at articulating his feelings either, and they were both stereotypical men in that regard, he thought ruefully. They were both used to keeping their deeper thoughts and emotions carefully guarded.

Jack resolved that he needed to find out from Ianto if he was at least interested in the possibility of a serious relationship between them. It would be far better to be deeply disappointed now rather than utterly heartbroken later.

Although, if he was completely honest with himself, he was already well beyond the point of mere disappointment. He hoped Ianto felt the same way.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks so much to everyone who so generously reviewed the last chapter. Hope you all like this one. I'm hoping to post another chapter in a couple of days time.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

It was Saturday evening and a day and a half later when Ianto was standing again at Jack's front door. The Welshman was dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt and jacket, a small, battered rucksack slung over his shoulder, and a six-pack of Brains beer gripped firmly in his hand. Without the shroud of a well-tailored suit, Jack was struck again by Ianto's youthful and innocent appearance. His smooth, boyish features were a convincing disguise for the sadness and confusion that darkened the younger man's soul. The thought gave Jack pause and he couldn't help but wonder, however briefly, if being with Ianto was a mistake. Dismissing the unwelcome thought, he reminded himself that Ianto wasn't really innocent at all, despite his outward appearance.

"Are you sure this is all right?" Ianto asked, looking at Jack with a timid, slightly uncertain smile after Jack closed the door behind him.

"More than all right," Jack assured him, giving a wide smile in return.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Ianto's lips, reaching up to stroke his cheek in the way that Ianto seemed to like. "You didn't have to bring anything though," he added as Ianto handed him the beer.

Ianto shook his head slightly, his smile becoming more relaxed. "It's fine, Jack. Really."

"Okay." Jack didn't want to press the issue, and he appreciated the thoughtfulness of Ianto's gesture. "You can put your bag in the bedroom if you like."

Ianto nodded, and after neatly taking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket, he retreated to Jack's bedroom while Jack moved into the kitchen.

He'd been delighted when Ianto had phoned earlier that day, cautiously asking if Jack was interested in doing something together for the evening. Jack had readily agreed, suggesting a quiet night in and some homemade dinner. Mindful of Ianto's financial issues, he decided that another night out so soon probably wasn't the best idea. Besides, they had their trip planned for tomorrow, and he liked having time alone with Ianto in a relaxed environment, away from distractions and judging eyes.

Despite his extroverted image, Jack wasn't overly interested in going out regularly. He'd done enough of that in the past when all he'd wanted was mindless distractions and a good time. That lifestyle no longer held any appeal to him. Outside of the work environment and the habitual Friday night drinks or occasional meal with his colleagues, he was must more of a loner than people seemed to assume. His idea of a perfect evening was something more quiet and intimate, with some enjoyable food and drink, and most importantly, good company. To his way of thinking, the evening with Ianto was shaping up perfectly.

As much as Jack wanted to woo and impress Ianto, he was realising that he didn't actually need to, and he suspected the perceptive younger man would see right through any such attempts for exactly what they were. Jack wondered if that was the problem; that in the past he'd tried just that little bit too hard. Whatever this was with Ianto, and whatever it might become, he wanted it to be real, genuine, and most of all, honest. If he was going to secure a place in Ianto's heart, he wanted it to be because Ianto saw him as he truly was, not for who he pretended to be.

"Do you want one of these?" Jack gestured at the beers he'd set down on the kitchen bench as Ianto joined him. The younger man stood at the edge of the square-shaped kitchen space, close to Jack's dining table, and he looked a little ill-at-ease. "Or I've got some cold ones in the fridge?"

"Ah, a cold one, thanks," Ianto replied.

"Sure." Jack grabbed the pack of beer and shoved it into the refrigerator and grabbed two cold bottles from the shelf on the door. Deftly twisting off the tops, he passed one to the younger man. "Iechyd da," he said with an impish grin, clinking his bottle against Ianto's.

"Cheers," Ianto said, his mouth twitching with a hint of a smirk while his eyebrow lifted upwards. He raised the bottle to his lips and took a mouthful as Jack did the same. "Know much Welsh do you?"

Jack shrugged. "Just the odd word I've picked up here and there. I was trying to impress you with how acclimated I am. Did it work?"

Ianto's looked at him with amusement, and what Jack hoped was also affection. "Not really."

"Damn," Jack said, laughing. "How about you?"

"A bit," Ianto replied with a shrug of his own. "I'm better at reading Welsh than speaking it though. My dad was fluent and it would come in handy at the shop sometimes. He tried to help me with speaking it, but I never quite seemed to get the hang of it."

Jack nodded, oddly pleased to discover something with which Ianto wasn't especially adept. Noting the wistful sadness in Ianto's eyes with the mention of his father, he decided a change of subject was in order before the conversation became overly melancholy. He didn't want Ianto to feel he couldn't talk about his father, and Jack didn't mind, but he didn't think it was a good idea to dwell.

"So, I thought we'd make pizzas for dinner." Jack gestured to the various bowls of chopped ingredients he'd been preparing before Ianto had arrived. "Is that okay?"

"Yep, brilliant." Ianto moved closer to Jack and eyed the ingredients curiously. His expression turned dubious as he looked back up at Jack. "Are we making the bases too?"

"Well, we could, but I cheated and bought pre-made ones," Jack admitted sheepishly, going back to the refrigerator and extracting the two large pizza bases he'd bought earlier in the day along with packets of ham, salami, and mozzarella.

Ianto gave him a knowing smile, and after washing their hands, they got to work. Jack soon discovered that Ianto had a rather strong aversion to most varieties of vegetables, creating a decidedly meat-heavy topping on his pizza. Jack decided to make things interesting by insisting that they each make one half of their respective pizzas for themselves, while the other half was for the other person. With cheerful glee, he set about loading Ianto's half of his pizza with every vegetable topping he had on hand.

He achieved a minor victory in saving Ianto from overindulging in meat when he dug out a tin of chopped pineapple from his pantry cupboard, which Ianto seemed to find acceptable. The young Welshman clearly had his own revenge when he generously covered Jack's half of his pizza with the hottest of the three varieties of salami Jack had bought.

Jack was fast discovering that Ianto was a worthy opponent in a playful challenge, and the younger man seemed to relax, looking quite comfortable being in the kitchen and preparing food. Between the laughter, teasing and silliness that ensued, Jack thoroughly enjoyed himself, and it seemed that Ianto did too. With their pizzas finally in the oven, and after some quick cleanup was completed, Jack grabbed another round of beers from the refrigerator and they retreated to relax on the sofa.

"Oh, I meant to tell you..." Ianto began, taking a sip from his bottle before resting it on his thigh. "The couple we met at the restaurant, Estelle and Bernard, they came into the shop today. Bernard's coming back next week to get measured up for a suit."

"That's fantastic," Jack said with enthusiasm, pleased that his little attempts at promoting Ianto's business had yielded a result. He'd been passing out Ianto's business cards at work too, recommending Ianto to his colleagues for their tailoring needs, and generally extolling the Welshman's abilities. He couldn't resist winking at Ianto. "I bet Estelle was pleased to see you again."

Ianto rolled his eyes, but Jack saw the glimmer of amusement in the striking blue depths. "She asked me how my young man was, and said to say hello."

"Aww, she's such a sweetheart." Jack laughed at Ianto's dry, bemused tone. He rather liked the idea of being Ianto's 'young man', not that he'd admit it and mortify the Welshman. "So, what did you tell her? I hope you didn't roll your eyes."

Ianto looked mildly affronted. "I was very polite. I said you were fine. And I told her you're not that young."

Jack gasped dramatically, feigning outrage. "You did not!"

Ianto just gave a little shrug, a teasing smirk playing over his lips. It was with a great show of self-restraint that Jack managed to resist kissing those tempting lips into submission. He hoped, with a little luck, he'd get to do that and more later. He dragged his eyes away from Ianto and gulped down some beer.

"I suppose we must seem so young to them," Jack said thoughtfully after a moment.

"I suppose." Ianto quickly took a mouthful from his bottle and then looked up at Jack with an uncertain expression. "Jack... um... thanks for doing that. Handing out my business cards."

Jack reached over and patted Ianto's knee. "You're welcome. You know, even stubborn, fiercely independent Welshmen can use a helping hand now and then. Besides, that's what friends are for."

Ianto glared at him but there was no real malice in his features. His expression turned almost sheepish and he nodded. "Yeah, I guess we do."

Ianto paused and opened his mouth again, apparently about to say something further but then closed it, looking down to where his hands were twisting around his bottle. He looked uncomfortable.

"What is it, Ianto?" Jack asked, concerned with the sudden change in his demeanor. "Whatever's on your mind, you can talk to me."

Ianto didn't immediately respond. He took a deep breath, glancing up at Jack before looking away again. "It's just... uh... I know this is all new... us, I mean... and I know you've done this before..."

He stopped and shook his head in obvious frustration, and then surprised Jack by cursing vehemently under his breath. Jack had only heard Ianto swear a couple of times before, and it seemed so at odds with the image of the polite, suited man he'd first met. "I'm not sure what this is," Ianto continued hesitantly. "What you want it to be."

"What do you want it to be, Ianto?" Jack asked, keeping his voice low, not wanting to jump in too soon, say the wrong thing and possibly unsettle the other man. While he was anxious about Ianto's response, he understood that Ianto was trying to grasp the nature of their fledgling relationship.

Ianto's brow furrowed as he seemed to consider the question. "I'm pretty sure I'm not cut out for anything too... casual. It probably sounds weird since I'm... well... not straight, obviously... but I'm a fairly traditional sort of person. If it's sex and nothing more, that's fine... but that isn't what this is..." His eyes lifted and fixed searchingly on Jack's. "I'm, um... I'm not wrong about that, am I?"

"No, you're not wrong at all," Jack replied. Under different circumstances, he might have been hurt that Ianto doubted his motives, but he knew the Welshman was simply struggling to articulate his thoughts.

Ianto nodded, looking relieved. "But if there are other people... or if there might be other people while we're seeing each other... I need to know that, so I'm clear on where we stand. For me... well, I think you know there isn't anyone else... there's only you."

While Jack had been fairly certain that was the case, he was reassured to hear Ianto say the words. The thought of Ianto being with anyone else filled him with a wholly unfamiliar but distinctly unpleasant surge of jealousy. "There's no-one else, Ianto," Jack assured him. "As long as we're together, there won't be anyone else."

He paused, and couldn't help chuckling slightly as he wondered what Ianto might have imagined. "Despite what you might think, I don't actually have people throwing themselves at me."

"Good to know," Ianto said with a hint of a smile.

Jack smiled back and tried to compose his thoughts. "I won't deny I've been around the block a few times. I've probably had more than my fair share of flings and one-off's. But that's in the past and it's not what I want any more. It's not what I want with you."

He looked at Ianto and tried to gauge his reaction. Ianto was looking back at him with an even expression, giving very little away. He gave Jack a slight nod, indicating for him to continue.

Jack took a deep breath. "I meant it when I said I wanted to show you I'm serious about us. But I wasn't sure if you're serious too. I thought maybe you just wanted something fun and casual."

Ianto's expression became a mixture of surprise and curiosity. "Why would you think that?"

"I suppose mainly because you're so young," Jack replied with a shrug. As soon as the words left his mouth, he cursed himself for mentioning the contentious issue.

Ianto looked at him sharply. "You said our age difference doesn't matter."

Jack hoped he was only imagining the hint of hurt that had crept into Ianto's voice. "It doesn't," he reassured him quickly. "I meant what I said about that. But when I think about what I was like at your age... well, I wouldn't have been ready for the possibility of anything too serious."

"But I'm not you, Jack," Ianto said, frowning again. "It's not fair to compare us."

Jack breathed out a sigh. He was actually impressed that Ianto was willing to challenge him and point out his hypocrisy, however unintentional. "I know. You're far more level-headed than I was at twenty... almost twenty-one. I'm sorry, Ianto. I shouldn't compare us or make assumptions. You're right, it isn't fair."

Ianto's frown cleared. "It's going to happen though, isn't it? For both of us."

"Yeah, I guess it is." Jack couldn't deny the truth of Ianto's words, as much as he wanted to. He wondered if perhaps he was being somewhat ingenuous, caught up in the excitement of a new relationship with someone he genuinely liked, and ignoring the reality of the situation. But he refused to believe the division in their ages and experiences was an insurmountable obstacle. "That's why it's important we talk to each other." He chuckled slightly. "Even though we're both men and we're at a natural disadvantage."

Ianto nodded and smiled briefly, but then looked dubious. "I'm not much of a talker, Jack."

"I know. Neither am I, not when it comes to things that really matter." Jack gave him a rueful smile. "It's not going to be easy for either of us. But I want you to feel like you _can_ talk to me... about anything you like... even if you don't necessarily want to."

Ianto reached for Jack's hand and grasped it, much to Jack's surprise. "We're talking now... that's a good start, yeah?"

Jack smiled and squeezed Ianto's hand in return. "It's a great start. So you're happy about this... about us giving things a proper go?"

A myriad of emotions played over Ianto's features as he stared down at their joined hands. Jack's stomach clenched as he tried to imagine what Ianto was thinking about, and he wondered which of the younger man's issues might be causing him to have doubts. Then, seeming to reach a decision, Ianto looked up directly into Jack's eyes. "Yeah... yeah, I am."

Smiling with happiness and relief, Jack put his beer bottle down on the coffee table and unceremoniously wrapped his hands around Ianto's face, pulling him into a passionate kiss. The speed with which Ianto recovered from the surprise and began kissing him back with equal enthusiasm, quickly erased Jack's lingering doubts.

It was a couple of minutes later when they separated, both breathing a little heavier than usual. Jack would have liked to take things further and he doubted that Ianto would have objected, but their pizzas would almost be ready.

Ianto looked at him curiously. "Can I ask you something else, Jack?"

Jack nodded. "Sure, Ianto."

"What do we call this? I mean... if you had to introduce me to one of your friends, for example, what would you say?"

Jack shrugged. "I'd say, 'This is Ianto.'"

Ianto frowned and Jack suspected that he was trying to refrain from rolling his eyes again. "Yes... but how would you describe what we are? Would you say we're friends, or..."

"Oh." Jack finally realised what Ianto was asking him. As much as he disliked putting narrow-minded labels on things, he conceded that they were necessary at times. "Well, I suppose I'd say you're my boyfriend." He looked at Ianto with concern as the younger man visibly flinched. "That would be okay, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose," Ianto replied, sounding less than happy about it.

"It's only a word," Jack assured him.

He could understand the other man's unease, and he had to admit, it did sound kind of immature. While Jack balked at being pigeon-holed, he was learning that Ianto needed to understand things, and liked having rules and guidelines to help him negotiate the unknown. It was going to be Jack's job to help him do that, and to perhaps encourage him to become a little less structured in his thinking. Jack didn't mind, but he knew he didn't have all the answers.

He decided to try a different tact. "If I were female and you had to introduce me, what would you call me?"

Ianto seemed to ponder that for a moment, and then looked chagrined. "I guess I'd say you're my girlfriend," he said cautiously.

"So, it's not any different is it?" Jack asked.

"Well, no." Ianto frowned again. "It's just... it seems a bit weird."

"If you prefer, we could just provide a visual demonstration instead... I could pull you into my arms and kiss you senseless." Jack grinned. "That'd probably get the point across."

Ianto's expression shifted into something approaching horror. "You, ah... you wouldn't actually do that, would you?"

"Not unless you wanted me too," Jack replied, chuckling gently before turning serious again. "No, Ianto, I'd never do anything that I thought might embarrass you. It's not really my style... overtly showing affection in public. What we do is between us, it doesn't concern anyone else. Not that I have a problem with anyone knowing we're together. I'd never want to deny that, but we don't need to broadcast it to all and sundry either."

Ianto looked relieved. "Maybe we should stick to 'boyfriend' then," he said, apparently conceding to Jack's logic, but with obvious reluctance. "If the need arises."

Jack smiled, both amused and charmed by the Welshman's pedantic nature. "Whatever you like." He stood up, tugging on Ianto's hand. "Come on, our pizzas should be ready."

Their pizzas were devoured in short order, Jack discovering that Ianto had been almost as ravenously hungry as himself. Jack was left gasping and rushing to the kitchen for water after eating Ianto's treat for him, while Ianto pulled some highly amusing faces as he struggled through a slice of his vegetarian delight, grumbling constantly about the evils of vegetables.

Comfortably fed, and with another round of beers in hand, they settled down to watch Casino Royale on Blu-Ray. Ianto had insisted that Jack should choose the movie this time, and while it was a movie that Jack liked, he had chosen it with the knowledge that Ianto had an affinity with all things James Bond related.

As the opening scene unfolded, Ianto was immediately and completely engrossed in the action. Jack wrapped an arm around Ianto's shoulders and pulled him closer. He was pleased when the younger man responded with a soft, contented sigh and curled up against his side.

After about an hour, with some coaxing that bordered on pleading, Jack managed to tear Ianto away long enough to make some of his delicious coffee for them.

After another hour and a half, with the movie finally over and the credits beginning to roll up the screen, Jack had learned one important lesson: Ianto took his Bond movies very seriously. The younger man had been utterly implacable for the entire length of the movie, resisting all of Jack's attempts to distract him with teasing lips and questing fingers. Jack had been admonished severely several times, his roaming hands battered away as Ianto's eyes had remained fixed firmly on the screen.

Switching off the screen and player, and tossing the remote onto the coffee table, Jack turned to Ianto and looked at him expectantly. Jack had been patient for two and a half hours, inwardly cursing his decision to choose such a long movie, but with temptation so close for all of that time, he'd finally reached his limit.

"So, can I kiss you now?" he demanded, hearing the trace of petulance mixed with desperation in his voice and no longer caring.

Ianto smiled, his eyes alight with amusement. "Yes, Jack. I'm all yours."

"At last," Jack murmured as he pulled Ianto against his chest and claimed the younger man's mouth in a feverish kiss.

Jack decided that the Welshman had enjoyed the game of anticipation a little too much, not that Jack was actually complaining. Ianto was perhaps starting to realise the power he had over him, and while Jack knew two could play at that game, he was fairly sure Ianto's clearly superior will-power would ensure he'd usually win. Since their earlier discussion, it seemed to Jack that a weight had lifted between them, with both of them feeling more secure about being together.

It didn't take long before they'd divested each other of their t-shirts, and with Ianto spread out on his back along the length of the sofa, Jack eagerly kissed and licked every inch of his chest. While his fingers worked at unfastening Ianto's jeans, he lavished attention on Ianto's nipples, knowing how much the younger man liked it, and Jack relished every breathless moan he managed to elicit from Ianto's lips.

With Ianto's remaining clothes finally pulled down and out of the way, Jack took him into his mouth, causing Ianto to exhale a low, stuttering groan. Jack applied his talents with single-minded enthusiasm, and within minutes Ianto's body trembled as he shot his release deep into Jack's mouth. Savouring the unique taste, Jack consumed every drop before settling on top of Ianto and kissing him slowly.

"Your turn," Ianto said, working his nimble fingers to release Jack from the confines of his jeans and underwear.

"You're sure?" Jack asked. "You know it's okay if you don't want to?"

"I know, but I want to," Ianto insisted. "Besides, practice makes perfect."

"A very admirable attitude," Jack agreed with a grin as they repositioned themselves so he was on his back and Ianto was on top of him.

Ianto grinned. "I like to think so."

What Ianto lacked in experience and finesse, he made up for with his enthusiasm and fastidious nature. He was slow and methodical, seeming to revel in the joy of what Jack suspected was a new experience for him. Jack loved how, being with Ianto, everything felt new and exciting. These were special moments that Ianto would always remember, as would Jack, and he felt honoured to be the man with whom Ianto was sharing them.

It wasn't long before Jack gasped and came hard, having to restrain himself from thrusting upwards and overwhelming the younger man. He spilled into Ianto's mouth, and Ianto did his best to take it all. When Ianto was finished, Jack reached up and swiped his thumb over the younger man's chin, gently wiping away the excess.

"Was that okay?" Ianto asked, looking slightly anxious.

"That was fantastic." Jack smiled up at Ianto, earning a soft smile in return. Tugging gently on Ianto's arms, Jack pulled him down into a long, slow kiss.

They continued kissing lazily for several minutes but eventually they were both beginning to lag a little.

"Want to go to bed now?" Jack asked.

"Okay," Ianto agreed with a weary nod, his eyelids starting to droop.

They fastened their clothing, and after grabbing their t-shirts, Jack flicked off the lights and they retreated to the bedroom. It wasn't long before they were settled in bed, arms wrapped firmly around each other. With Ianto's warmth surrounding him, Jack smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

The following morning began with a couple of unhurried rounds of very satisfying sex, followed by showers, and then a late breakfast consisting of Jack's pancakes and Ianto's coffee. Eventually they were organised for the day and standing at the door as Jack checked his pockets, making sure he had everything.

"Ianto, hold out your hand."

"Why?" Ianto asked, looking at Jack curiously but obediently putting his hand out.

Jack dropped his keyring into Ianto's palm. "Because you're driving."

Ianto stared down at his hand for a moment and then looked up at Jack again, a huge smile lighting up his face. "Really?"

Jack grinned back and hoped he'd never forget the look of pure happiness on Ianto's face. "Yup. Let's go."

The journey to Castell Coch was short and uneventful. Ianto was a capable and conscientious driver, as Jack had expected. He couldn't imagine Ianto being reckless or incompetent in anything he chose to do. Ianto was clearly overjoyed with the chance to drive the car he admired, and Jack enjoyed just sitting back and watching the younger man revel in the experience.

The castle was magnificent, and while not especially large, with its setting nestled in dense, green countryside filled with huge, soaring trees, Jack thought it was like something lifted from a fairytale. As with their previous trip, Ianto's quiet enthusiasm was contagious. He filled Jack in on various historical points of interest as they explored every nook and cranny accessible to visitors. Jack suspected that Ianto might have read up on the castle in preparation for their trip. Jack treated them to a snack and drinks, and they lingered until closing time. Ianto then drove them back to Jack's flat.

"Stay again tonight?" Jack asked once they were inside, the words tumbling out before he'd allow the thought to fully form.

"Oh, er..." Ianto's eyes widened with surprise. "I thought you might be sick of me by now."

"I'm not sure that's possible," Jack said with complete honesty. "I'll understand if you don't want to. But I'd really like it if you did."

He smiled, feeling self-conscious, and not sure if he'd be able to hide his disappointment if Ianto declined. He just wasn't ready for their time together to once again reach an end.

Ianto's features relaxed and he smiled back. "I'd like that too. Okay, I'll stay."


	12. Chapter 12

Happy Holidays everyone! Thank you again for the reviews and support both for this and for my previous stories. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

Ianto sighed as he looked around the cramped confines of his small flat. He decided resignedly that there was nothing else he could do to make it look any more presentable.

Moving back into the kitchen, he opened his compact refrigerator and double-checked everything was organised and ready for dinner. Tugging distractedly at his shirt collar, he scurried into the bathroom and checked his appearance again in the mirror. He'd accompanied his best pair of jeans with a blue and white check long-sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, and a dark blue t-shirt underneath. He dabbed on some more aftershave, smoothed out his already neatly groomed eyebrows and sideburns, and fiddled with his hair, adjusting the gelled tufts he'd furiously tried to coerce into a more casual style than he usually preferred. Running his hands down his front, he wondered if his shirt needed ironing again.

His stomach churned unpleasantly, feeling like it was full of rats. He'd been experiencing a mixture of eager anticipation and utter dread all day as the evening rapidly approached. Leaving work early, he'd stopped at the local supermarket on the way home for a couple of last minute items, and then after changing out of his suit, he'd embarked on a cleaning frenzy.

There was nothing wrong with his flat he supposed, especially for someone his age and with limited means. It was just that he didn't want Jack to see it. While the flat was his home, and he'd slowly grown accustomed to it, even finding it moderately comfortable, a part of him also despised it. The modest space felt like a tangible reminder of everything wrong with his life... a reminder of what he'd lost and what he didn't have. Jack didn't belong in this part of his small, narrow world. Having just shared the most enjoyable weekend with Jack that he could have imagined, he'd been riding on the wave of euphoria for the last three days, and he wanted the all too fragile bubble of happiness to last just a bit longer.

Anxiety had brought familiar insecurities to the forefront of his thoughts. He feared that Jack would see where he lived and decide he'd made a terrible mistake in letting Ianto into his life. Ianto berated himself for thinking that, for thinking so little of Jack. The older man had shown time and again that he didn't care about anything so superficial, but Ianto couldn't seem to stop himself from anticipating the worst. After their conversation, he felt more secure about being with Jack, and he truly wanted a relationship with the older man. Yet that small, insidious flicker of doubt remained.

The buzzer for the front door suddenly blared out, causing him to jump and swear loudly. "Sorry, Mo," he mumbled, looking over to his battered, brown leather sofa that had definitely seen better days. The grey, short-haired cat was curled up in one corner, and he stared up at Ianto with wide, round, golden eyes, and an air of serene calm which Ianto greatly envied.

Scarcely a minute later, and after taking several deep, calming breaths, Ianto opened his front door. There stood Jack, larger than life, and looking as ridiculously handsome as ever in casual attire of jeans, a deep blue dress shirt, and a long, dark-grey woollen overcoat. The coat had a military look about it, and Ianto hadn't seen Jack wearing it before, but he thought it suited Jack perfectly. A wide smile was fixed firmly on Jack's face.

Ianto smiled, his heart pounding. "Hi, Jack. Come in."

"Ianto, hey. Thanks."

Jack crossed the threshold and Ianto closed the door behind him. Turning around, he watched as Jack glanced curiously around the cluttered living room. Jack then looked back at him, his smile becoming something softer and more intimate. He leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to Ianto's lips which Ianto returned without hesitation, feeling a little of his nervousness dissipate with the older man's arrival. He told himself firmly that he was being ridiculous. He could live under a bridge in a cardboard box and Jack probably wouldn't think any less of him.

Jack pulled back and looked at him appreciatively, the intense scrutiny causing heat to rise to Ianto's cheeks. "You look gorgeous, Ianto."

"You too," Ianto replied truthfully. Jack's flattery could be a little flamboyant at times, but the sincerity in his voice was without question. He reached forward and stroked his fingers over Jack's sleeve. "I like the coat."

Jack grinned. "Thanks. Here, I brought some wine."

"Great, thanks." Ianto took the bottle from Jack and carried it to the kitchen, quickly returning and helping Jack to remove his coat, hanging it up as Jack kicked off his shoes.

"Who's this cute little fella?" Jack kneeled down to pat the bundle of fur rubbing against his leg. He scratched gently at the cat's neck and looked up at Ianto curiously.

"Oh, that's Moses," Ianto hastened to explain, surprised by the feline's interest in Jack. From what he knew, Moses tended to be a bit haughty with strangers. "Mo for short. He's not mine, I'm just cat-sitting. He belongs to old Mrs. Thomas downstairs... she's away for a couple of days, visiting her sister. I just look after him occasionally."

Jack stood up again and his soft smile returned. "That's very kind of you, Ianto."

Ianto shrugged. "He's no trouble. He's a lazy bugger. Just sleeps all the time. Except when he's demanding to be fed. I kind of like having him around though."

"I can understand that," Jack said. "It's nice not to have to come home to an empty flat."

"Yeah," Ianto agreed. "Yeah, it is."

Ianto gestured towards the sofa and long coffee table that dominated the centre of the slightly rectangular room, competing with his desk, bookcases, and television unit for space. "Make yourself at home, Jack. It's not much. Most of my stuff belonged to my parents. I kept what I needed when I moved here and my sister took the rest. It's all pretty old. Except for the telly, I bought that when I moved in. It's not as nice as yours of course."

Realising he was rambling, Ianto promptly closed his mouth. Jack looked at him with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. "It's fine, Ianto. Really. It's looks very cozy, actually. There's nothing wrong with that. Besides, I like cozy."

Ianto suspected that Jack was just being polite, but he was relieved that the older man didn't seem to be horrified by his surroundings. Jack's own flat wasn't particular large either, but it was far more open and spacious, and it always looked stylish with its modern fittings and Jack's smart furniture. It was a world away from Ianto's eclectic mix of old, mismatched pieces.

Jack stepped further into the room and studied the large timber bookcases along the wall behind the sofa. They contained most of Ianto's book and DVD collection, and were all neatly organised. He turned back to Ianto and grinned. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Um... chilli chicken stir-fry, and apple crumble for pudding." Ianto bit down on his lip nervously. He'd deliberated at length on what to make for Jack. His repertoire was fairly limited, and he tended to stick with simple, easy to prepare meals. He'd finally settled on one of his tastier recipes accompanied by a simple, classic dessert. Plus, his choices were within his budget. "Does that sound okay?"

Jack looked impressed. "Wow, it sounds delicious. Need a hand with anything?"

Ianto shook his head. "Nope. I've got all the ingredients ready, and it only takes a few minutes to cook. I'll open the wine and you can relax while I get it ready. Watch some telly or do whatever you want. Remote's there on the table."

Jack smiled. "Okay, well just yell out if you want me to do anything."

Jack sat down on the sofa, sprawling out his long limbs. He laughed when Moses jumped up onto his lap. Jack looked surprisingly relaxed and comfortable, much to Ianto's chagrin.

"Will do," Ianto said and hastily retreated to the kitchen.

After taking a glass of the red wine to Jack, having generously sampled it himself, he set to work cooking their dinner. He tried not to think too much about the surreal nature of the entire experience, standing in his dingy little kitchen and cooking dinner for the significantly older man he was dating. He was fairly sure his life couldn't become any more bizarre.

He worked efficiently and with confidence, glad that he hadn't decided to attempt anything more ambitious. Soon enough, he was carefully carrying two steaming bowls of chicken stir-fry into the living room.

"Here we go." Ianto put the bowls down on the coffee table in front of Jack and hurried back to the kitchen to retrieve cutlery, serviettes, and the bottle of wine.

"Leave Jack alone, Mo," he chastised after he'd returned and shooed the cat away. "Your dinner's in the kitchen."

Moses gave a plaintive meow at being dislodged from Jack's lap, but then padded off in search of his food.

"Hope you like it, Jack. Be careful, it's hot." Ianto passed a fork and serviette to Jack and topped up their glasses. He sat down next to Jack and glanced at him apologetically. "Not very adventurous I'm afraid, but it's one of my favourites."

Jack picked up his bowl and took an appreciative sniff. "Well, if it tastes half as good as it smells, it's going to be fantastic." He took a tentative mouthful, obviously heeding Ianto's warning. "Hmm... this is really good, Ianto."

Jack proceeded to devour his meal with enthusiasm, praising effusively as he ate. Ianto ate his at a more sedate pace, but he enjoyed seeing Jack eat with such gusto, obviously enjoying Ianto's culinary efforts. After consuming a second helping, Jack leaned back into the sofa and sighed contentedly. "That really was delicious. Cooking's obviously another one of your many talents."

"Hardly." Ianto laughed as he divided the remainder of the wine between their glasses, passing Jack's glass to him before settling back into the sofa too. "I stick to basic stuff, mostly one pot kind of things. My kitchen's very basic, so it doesn't lend itself to anything too fancy. I'm glad you liked it though."

"Same here," Jack said, taking a sip of wine. "Anything too adventurous usually ends in disaster. I rely too much on takeaways and frozen meals. It's not much fun just cooking for yourself."

"That's true." It was often a chore and Ianto had found it much more enjoyable to prepare food for someone other than himself. It wasn't really something he'd ever had to do before.

Jack shifted and looked at him inquisitively, his hand settling on Ianto's thigh. "Are you okay? You seemed on edge before."

Ianto sighed. He should have known that Jack would see right through him. Sometimes he almost wished that Jack was a little less perceptive. "I'm fine. I was just a bit nervous about dinner." It wasn't exactly a lie, he reasoned. "Didn't want to disappoint you."

Jack produced that same soft, vulnerable smile from earlier. It was so different to his usual beaming grin and Ianto wondered how many people had seen that side of Jack. "I'm not sure if you could ever disappoint me, Ianto."

Ianto was silent for a moment. He reached for Jack's hand and wrapped their fingers together. "I'm sure I will sooner or later," he said in little more than a whisper.

He leaned in and kissed Jack, stopping any reply the other man might have been about to produce, and not wanting to think of a time when he'd see Jack look at him with disappointment in his eyes. At least it wasn't tonight, and for that, he was grateful.

"Ready for some dessert?" Ianto asked as he pulled away.

Jack grinned. "Ianto, I think you know me well enough by now to know I'm always ready for dessert."

Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack's innuendo-laced tone. He stood and gathered up their dishes, motioning for Jack to stay seated. Moses leapt up onto Ianto's vacated seat and curled up next to Jack. As Ianto retreated to the kitchen, he heard Jack chuckle softly while he talked to the enamoured feline. No, Ianto decided, his life really couldn't get any more strange.

Jack eagerly consumed two helpings of apple crumble with generous lashings of custard, once again giving Ianto lavish praise. Meanwhile, Ianto struggled through his more modest serving, his earlier nerves having somewhat diminished his appetite. Leaving the dessert dishes in the sink, he prepared coffee while Jack hovered at his side, watching the process with interest. Ianto noticed with amusement that Moses had retreated to his pillow on the floor in the bedroom. Looking rather sulky, the indolent feline had apparently realised he was losing the battle for Jack's attention.

With their cups of coffee in hand, they returned to the other room and sat down again. Ianto pressed himself against Jack's side, giving the action remarkably little thought. He'd never been a naturally tactile person, but it was different with Jack. He found himself welcoming and encouraging physical contact between them, and Jack clearly liked it too, often reaching for him to create a tangible sense of connection. Every touch and caress Jack bestowed upon him felt profoundly intimate. Ianto found himself memorising and cataloguing each and every one of them.

As if picking up on his thoughts, Jack's hand settled on his leg and stroked gently over the length of his thigh. Ianto felt a smile spread across his face in response. He took a sip of coffee, closing his eyes and allowing himself a moment to savour the strong, rich flavour. Meanwhile, Jack made his usual lewd groans of appreciation as he sipped at the dark, pungent liquid.

Jack's voice broke the comfortable silence a few moments later, his hand continuing to move leisurely over Ianto's denim-clad leg. "You've mentioned your sister a couple of times. Does she live nearby?"

Ianto's felt himself tense slightly and he reluctantly opened his eyes. His strained relationship with his sister wasn't something he particularly wanted to talk about, but he could understand that Jack would be naturally curious.

"Her name's Rhiannon," he began slowly. "She lives over in Swansea. With her husband, Johnny, and their son, David. She's five years older than me. We're not very close. I see them at Christmas but that's about it."

Jack nodded, and Ianto took a sip of coffee. He breathed out a heavy sigh. "She never showed any interest in tailoring or the business, and I think she always resented that I got to spend so much time with dad. She was closer to mum, and I was always closer to dad. So, when mum passed away... well, I still had dad, but I suppose it was harder on her. Not that dad didn't try, and I'm sure he loved us equally. She could have made more of an effort though. I don't blame her for not being interested in the business, but it was her choice. We were never close, but after mum was gone, we seemed to grow further apart."

He paused for a moment. "Then when dad died, we fought over the business. She never understood what it meant to him... what it meant to me. She would have happily sold it without a second thought. I couldn't let her do that. I wasn't going to let her take it away from me. So, we see each other when we have to, and we keep up appearances, but that's about it. Johnny makes an effort, I suppose he wants David to know who his uncle is. He's a decent bloke. He seems to take good care of them."

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly. "It must have been difficult. Does she know about you... that you like men?"

Ianto shrugged. "We've never talked about it, but I think she probably suspects. I don't think she cares about things like that."

"Well, that's something." Jack's hand stopped moving. "So, if she found out about us, she wouldn't be too shocked?"

Ianto tried to imagine introducing Jack to his sister. He thought he might actually enjoy it in a perverse sort of way, and he was sure the expression on her face would be priceless. She probably wouldn't believe her little brother could attract the interest of someone like Jack. He was still struggling to believe that himself. He supposed he'd have to take Jack to meet her eventually if things continued between them, but that was an encounter he intended to put off for as long as possible.

He let out a wry chuckle. "Oh, I'm sure she'd be shocked at first. But after the initial surprise wore off, her opinion of me would probably go up considerably."

Jack laughed in return. Ianto turned to look at him curiously. "Do you have any siblings, Jack? You've never mentioned any."

Jack immediately sobered, and the look in his eyes made Ianto wish he could take back the question.

"Yeah... I had a younger brother," Jack replied after a moment, his voice catching. "He died... motorbike accident. Just over ten years ago now. I was nineteen at the time, he was seventeen. I... well, I don't really talk about it."

Ianto's stomach lurched. He couldn't begin to comprehend the pain of losing a younger sibling, or of parents losing a child. Losing his parents had been terrible, especially at his young age, but it happened to everyone eventually. It was the natural order of things. This was something else entirely. "Shit. I'm sorry, Jack."

Jack reached for his hand and grasped it tightly. "No, it's okay, it's good that you know. I've never really talked to anyone about it before. It was a long time ago now. He and I had a kind of difficult relationship too. But he was my kid brother, and I loved him. It was a stupid, senseless accident. He'd been drinking and he never should have been on that bike. Just one moment of stupidity and he was taken from us."

Jack drew in a shaky breath. "Dad died a little over five years later. It was cancer. After we lost Gray, he just seemed to give up. I hated him for a while, for not fighting to stay with mum and me, but I think I understand it better now. He just wanted the pain to end. When he got sick, he almost seemed relieved."

Ianto nodded, and not knowing what to say he just squeezed Jack's hand. "And your mum?" he asked after a moment.

"She lives in Scotland now, just outside of Glasgow. After losing dad, she went back to where she grew up. She has family there. She met someone new a couple of years ago, he's a nice guy... very Scottish." A brief smile ghosted over Jack's lips. "She seems to be happy. I usually go up there for Christmas and New Year to see her."

"It's good that she's found some happiness again," Ianto said gently.

Jack nodded and the pain in his eyes began to fade. "Yeah. I used to worry about her a lot. I'm glad she's got someone to take care of her."

Ianto just held onto Jack's hand, hoping the contact provided a measure of comfort. They both had more than their share of past pain, and it was clear that Jack understood grief.

After a moment or two, he slowly extricated his hand and patted Jack's leg. "How about some more coffee, and we put on a film?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "That sounds great."

Ianto was about to stand up, but he paused and looked back at Jack anxiously. "Jack, um... are you staying tonight? I didn't want to presume, but I... I bought some supplies. Just in case. My bed is small though and I didn't think you'd..."

He trailed off uncertainly. He couldn't imagine Jack wanting to stay overnight in his pokey flat, not when the older man had a far more comfortable place, with it's much larger bed, to go home to.

Jack held his gaze and Ianto was surprised by the vulnerability in the older man's eyes. "I'd like to stay, Ianto. If you want me to?"

"Of course I do," Ianto said, the words spilling out in a hurry. "I just didn't think you'd want to."

Jack smiled that same soft, intimate smile. "I want to."

Ianto smiled back, and then stood up and collected their empty cups. "Okay. I'll just get our refills. Pick out a film if you like and I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

###

It was later that evening and Ianto was lying on his back, breathing heavily while his heart pounded in his chest. Jack was pressed up against his side, one arm wrapped around his shoulders, cradling him almost protectively, while Jack's other hand traced lazy patterns over his torso. Jack seemed to be completely unconcerned about the sticky state of Ianto's flushed skin, and as his hand continued to explore, he nuzzled his face against Ianto's neck, drawing regular, deep breaths.

The bed was too small for two six-foot tall, grown men, but Ianto found that he didn't care. He liked the enforced closeness, and despite his earlier anxiety and the initial strangeness of having a naked Jack in his bed, he realised he wouldn't have wanted the evening to end any other way.

"You okay?" Ianto murmured.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack mumbled against Ianto's neck in reply. "Better than fine."

Ianto pressed a kiss into Jack's hair and let his eyes drift closed. The sex had been intense and more vigourous than anything they'd done before. It seemed they'd both needed it. Jack had encouraged him not to hold back, but Ianto had restrained himself somewhat out of fear of hurting him. Jack had clearly loved every moment though, and Ianto had enjoyed it far more than he'd expected.

Every experience with Jack tended to be both thrilling and overwhelming, and this one had been no exception. He'd also discovered deep pleasure in giving Jack what he wanted... what he needed. It was an exercise in trust, and Ianto recognised the importance of that. Much to his surprise, he felt completely safe with Jack. He'd never expected to feel that way with another man, especially an older man who was undeniably broader and stronger than he was.

Jack's caressing fingers shifted downwards and moved over Ianto's crotch. "Oh, God," Ianto muttered. "You can't want more? You've already worn me out."

Jack let out a soft chuckle, and Ianto knew the older man was only teasing him. Jack was as exhausted as he was. "In the morning then?" Jack asked, kissing his neck.

Ianto grinned. "Maybe."

Reluctantly opening his eyes, Ianto sought out Jack's mouth and kissed him slowly. "Come on, we'd better get cleaned up," he said, easing out of Jack's hold and pulling the protesting man to his feet.

In the tight confines of Ianto's bathroom, they cleaned each other with a warm flannel. Ianto offered up the new toothbrush he'd bought for Jack at the supermarket, and tried not to think too much about the significance of the act. After all, he had a toothbrush at Jack's flat, and oral hygiene was important, he reminded himself. Jack took the offering with a soft smile and proceeded to brush his teeth with his usual vigor. Ianto did the same and after taking turns using the toilet, they returned to the bedroom and climbed back into Ianto's bed.

With the lights off, the room was dark except for the subtle glow of the large green digits of Ianto's alarm clock. Pulling the covers up, he wrapped himself around Jack, and Jack's arms held him close.

"Ianto," Jack whispered, his voice hesitant, and almost inaudible. "I love this... all of it. I love being with you. You know that, right? I just... I want you to know that."

Ianto thought he probably should have been more shocked by the openness and honesty of Jack's words. However, deep down, he knew the truth of them, and they echoed his own feelings. Jack obviously enjoyed their time together as much as he did. It was just that Jack had been brave enough to say aloud what they were both feeling.

"I know," he replied, his voice as soft and tentative as Jack's. "It's the same for me... being with you."

"Good," Jack breathed out. "That's good." His lips brushed against Ianto's forehead. "Sleep well, Ianto."

Ianto smiled as their combined warmth and the rhythmic sound of Jack's breathing lulled him towards sleep. "Night, Jack."


	13. Chapter 13

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas! I'm posting this chapter a little earlier than planned. Thanks as always to everyone who so kindly reviewed the last chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

Jack carried the two mugs of hot chocolate he'd carefully prepared over to the coffee table, walking slowly so as not to spill any of the hot, aromatic liquid. Settling them down, he smiled at Ianto who was lounging comfortably on the sofa. Ianto flicked off the television, the movie he'd been watching just having finished. Jack hadn't really been following the movie. He'd been half-heartedly attempting to read a new manuscript he'd received that day. It looked promising, but as was usually the case when Ianto was near, he'd been completely distracted and had instead spent most of the time surreptitiously admiring the younger man.

"Thanks, Jack." Ianto picked up his mug and looked down at it's contents. "Oh... you got more of those little marshmallows."

Jack laughed as he sat down next to him. "Well, I couldn't have you pouting at me again because I'd run out. Although you have such an adorable pout, it was definitely worth it."

He smiled to himself as he remembered the look of abject disappointment on Ianto's face a few days earlier when he'd been confronted with hot chocolate sans mini-marshmallows. Lately, Jack had found himself pausing while doing his supermarket shopping, wondering what little treats he could find that Ianto might enjoy. The Welshman was never far from his thoughts, and Jack was thoroughly enjoying the process of discovering the younger man's little quirks, eccentricities, likes, and dislikes. The list seemed endless.

Vegetables continued to be a contentious issue, although anything with potatoes was a safe bet. Except for crisps, Ianto particularly didn't like those, and he complained they were too fattening. Jack doubted that this was something Ianto would have to worry about for several years or so yet. Annoyingly, the younger man seemed to be able to eat just about anything without putting on a single ounce of weight. Jack remembered a time when he'd been like that too, but these days he had to be somewhat more careful.

Jack had been mildly surprised when the tub of pre-made potato salad he'd bought for one of their meals had been rapidly devoured with murmurings of approval. Inexplicably, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and mushrooms were also deemed acceptable, much to Jack's bemusement. He'd decided not to even attempt to fathom that particular mystery. Jack wasn't a fussy eater, but even he drew the line at brussel sprouts.

Chocolate, preferably dark, was always met with unreserved approval, as were salted nuts, but only peanuts and cashews. After Ianto had systematically eaten his way through his preferred nuts from the large mixed bag Jack usually kept on hand, leaving the less desirable remnants for Jack, he'd switched to buying packets of only peanuts or cashews. He suspected that Ianto secretly bemoaned losing the joy of that little challenge. He'd also discovered that Ianto didn't like ice-cream. He complained it gave him a headache. He liked custard though, and he adored strawberries.

Ianto simply liked what he liked, apparently without rhythm or reason, and he was stubbornly intractable when it came to anything he considered to be in the least bit suspicious or lacking in desirability.

Still smiling to himself as he pondered the enigma that was Ianto Jones, Jack picked up his own mug, and took a sip of the hot liquid, savouring the rich, slightly bitter, flavour.

"I don't pout," Ianto stated with a hint of petulance, glancing up at Jack with narrowed eyes before becoming distracted with plucking a tiny marshmallow from the top of his drink and popping it into his mouth.

Jack leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Ianto's mouth. "Yeah, you do. I bet it's taking every ounce of your self-restraint not to pout at me right now."

Ianto rolled his eyes and let out an exaggerated huff before turning his attention back to his drink.

Jack smiled in amusement. Not for the first time over the last few weeks, he was struck by how domestic this all was, spending a quiet evening at home with his boyfriend. He'd never really done the whole domestic thing before, at least not to this extent, and definitely never with such serious intentions. Not so long ago, he might have balked at the mere notion of settling down, horrified that he could become so conventional and pedestrian. Not that his relationship with Ianto was particularly conventional, but the idea of actually pursuing a serious relationship and everything that entailed would have once been abhorrent to him.

He wondered if he'd finally discovered what really mattered. Or perhaps he'd inadvertently found what he'd always wanted without truly knowing what he'd been looking for. His world seemed clearer now... more focused. Without being fully aware of it, he'd been mired in a haze of grief, loneliness, confusion and regret, all carefully hidden behind a mask of supreme self-confidence and flirtatious behaviour. He'd been so determined to portray the illusion of happiness that he'd almost fooled himself. Almost, but not quite. It wasn't that he'd been unhappy, but he hadn't been truly happy either. He'd been adrift somewhere in-between.

Four weeks had passed since he'd visited Ianto's flat for the first time. They'd now known each other for a few days shy of two months. It was such a brief period of time, yet Jack found himself struggling to imagine his life without Ianto as a fundamental part of it. They had become increasingly closer and more inseparable as the weeks passed, and they were now spending as many nights together as they were apart. While it hadn't been discussed, it seemed they were in agreement that it was pointless to spend time apart in their separate and lonely flats when they didn't need to. Jack had only stayed over at Ianto's once more, when Ianto had been cat-sitting Moses again. They spent the rest of their evenings together at Jack's flat. It made sense since his flat was the larger and more comfortable of the two. Jack didn't particularly mind either way, but Ianto seemed to prefer it. Jack suspected that the younger man hadn't completely shaken off his embarrassment over his more humble accommodations.

Their sex life continued to be passionate, exciting, and deeply satisfying, and to Jack's ongoing delight, Ianto's sexual appetite was easily a match for his own. He'd been trying to encourage the younger man to be a little more assertive about what he wanted, while also introducing him to some innovative positions and possibilities to keep things interesting. Ianto was sometimes hesitant and uncertain, but he was always willing, and he was a quick study. On one highly memorable occasional, Ianto had produced a measuring tape, and with a deliciously wicked grin, he'd declared that he wanted to fill in the gaps in his list of Jack's measurements. Jack had returned the favour, matching Ianto's painstaking attention to detail, and making a list of his own. However, Jack had failed miserably in trying to convince the younger man, admittedly through dubious means and sleight of hand, that he was bigger.

They'd also started working on helping Ianto to overcome his fears. As Jack had expected, it was a slow, gradual process. Jack knew how important it was to Ianto to free himself from his past trauma. While he knew that Ianto was frustrated at times, Jack was determined to take things slowly as they continued to strengthen the sense of trust and safety between them.

They spent every Sunday together, along with Saturday evenings, and Ianto had continued to help Jack with selecting the finishing touches for his new house. Three weeks earlier, their Sunday had been spent finalising the paint colours, choosing wall tiles for the kitchen and bathroom, and picking out light fittings. The previous weekend, they'd selected the timber flooring for the living areas, and carpet for the bedrooms. Jack had felt a bit guilty about monopolising their time together with such mundane tasks, but Ianto had assured him he enjoyed it. Jack was grateful for the help, finding the process more enjoyable and less frustrating than if he'd had to do it all alone. They had fun together and he trusted Ianto's innately impeccable taste.

Much to Jack's relief, the house was starting to come together, and after a couple of delays with the kitchen installation, it looked like he was going to be able to move in by late September. He was currently on a month-by-month lease with his flat, and he hoped to vacate it before spilling into October. He'd miss his flat, it was comfortable and familiar, and had been his home for over three years, but he felt ready for a change. Plus, he now had Ianto to share it all with, making the entire process more exciting and less daunting.

Meanwhile, Ianto had been keeping busy at his shop, working on a new suit for Bernard and one for a colleague and good friend of Jack's, a gruff Londoner by the name of Owen Harper. Owen worked in the sales and marketing department at Torchwood. Jack had convinced Owen that he needed a new suit, and that nothing short of one of Ianto's bespoke masterpieces would suffice. While Jack knew that a couple of new suits wouldn't make much of a difference to the ongoing viability of Ianto's business, he wanted to do something to help.

However, Jack was worried about Ianto. The younger man had seemed subdued over the last few days. Ianto wasn't the most effusive person Jack had ever known, but there had been a subtle but noticeable shift in his mood. There could have been any number of reasons for Ianto's despondency, but Jack suspected that one in particular was weighing heavily upon him. He wasn't sure what he should do about it, but he'd decided before the evening had begun that he needed to try to coax Ianto into talking.

He rested his hand on Ianto's knee and gave it an affectionate squeeze, earning a brief, weak smile in return.

"You okay?" he asked, trying to sound casual, and taking a mouthful of his drink before putting the mug down on the table. He belatedly thought that stronger drinks might have been a better choice. "You're been a bit quiet lately. Want to talk about anything?"

Ianto breathed out a weary sigh, his eyes lifting to meet Jack's briefly before moving back down to where his hands were cradling his mug. "Sorry, guess I've got a few things on my mind."

"There's nothing to apologise for," Jack assured him. He shifted so they could look at each other more easily, but kept a little space between them, not wanting Ianto to feel smothered. "Is Friday one of those things?"

Ianto looked up at him in surprise. "You remembered."

Jack was surprised in turn that Ianto would think he wouldn't remember. Although they'd never mentioned it since the first time they'd properly talked at the coffee shop, so he supposed it was understandable. A lot had changed since then. It had been on Jack's mind though, and he'd been wondering what to do for the occasion. He would have liked to do something special and a little extravagant, something they could both really enjoy, but he knew Ianto wouldn't like having money spent on him.

"I wouldn't forget your birthday," Jack said, holding Ianto's gaze. "It's a major milestone, turning twenty-one."

Ianto shrugged in response. "It's just another day."

The Welshman's feigned nonchalance didn't fool Jack. "Is that how you really feel?"

Ianto didn't answer immediately. "No," he eventually breathed out, lowering his eyes. "No, I suppose not. It's just that... I don't know how to deal with it. Last year I stayed in my flat all day... kept drinking until I was too rat-faced to care. Planned to do the same this year."

Jack nodded in understanding. He imagined Ianto drinking himself into a stupor, just wanting a respite from the pain of loss and loneliness. He'd been there, and he understood that need to escape, but his heart clenched at the thought of Ianto suffering alone. He never wanted Ianto to suffer on his own again.

He also understood why Ianto felt that he had nothing to celebrate, with neither of his parents alive to see him achieve this major event in his life, along with only a tenuous relationship with his remaining family. On top of which, Ianto was struggling to keep his business afloat, and Jack suspected that Ianto was probably feeling that he'd failed his father. Jack briefly thought back to his own twenty-first birthday. With their family still shattered by the loss of his brother, it hadn't been a happy time, and the celebrations had felt forced and wrong.

"I thought you might be planning to spend some time with your sister?" he asked cautiously.

Ianto shook his head. "She called last night. Asked if I wanted to come over for dinner. But I can't... I can't do it, Jack... I can't pretend to play at being a happy family. It's all a lie. Any other time maybe..." He trailed off and then looked up guiltily. "I told her I'd made plans with some friends. I hoped... I thought perhaps we could do something together? Just a quiet dinner, maybe get some take-away?"

"Of course we can," Jack assured him. "I wondered if you wanted to do something... maybe go out somewhere. But we can stay in if you want... have a nice, romantic meal together."

Ianto looked noticeably relieved. "I'd like that."

"It's nice that she invited you though," Jack said, trying to be diplomatic, although he understood Ianto's reasons. "But it's your day, you should spend it however you want."

Ianto was silent for a moment. "Maybe I'll drive over after work on Saturday and say hello."

Ianto didn't sound very happy about the idea, but Jack nodded in approval. Since they were the only family Ianto had left, he couldn't help but feel that Ianto should try to make a bit more of an effort. Especially when it seemed that Ianto's sister was at least trying to maintain a connection between them.

"If nothing else, you can see your nephew," Jack suggested. "I'm sure he'd love to see his uncle."

Ianto seemed to brighten a little with the thought. "It's been a while since I've seen him. He's probably grown a lot."

"Yeah, I bet he has," Jack agreed. He waited before continuing, mulling over some options. "If you're not going to work on Friday... instead of just dinner, we could spend the day together? I can take the day off too and we can do something."

Ianto looked surprised, but his expression turned dubious. "I'm not sure if I'll be very good company, Jack. Besides, I don't want you to give up a day off for me."

"I'm not giving up anything. I want to, Ianto. I want to be with you." Jack shuffled closer and reaching down to Ianto's hands, he removed the mug he was holding and put it down on the table. He took both of Ianto's hands in his own. "I don't want you to be alone."

Ianto's look of doubt shifted towards bewilderment. Jack continued talking. "I know you've had to cope on your own in the past, but you've got me now. You've got me to take care of you."

Jack wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. He hadn't meant to be quite so open. The implication of his words seemed rather obvious, at least to him, but he wasn't ready to articulate the depth of his feelings for Ianto. He hadn't even fully admitted them to himself.

He looked at the younger man anxiously, noting the myriad of emotions in his eyes.

"Jack..." Ianto began after a moment.

Jack shook his head, hurrying on. "How about this... come over Thursday night after work as usual, then we can spend all of Friday together."

He paused and forced a wide grin, hoping to lighten the mood. "If you're lucky, I'll even make you pancakes for breakfast. That has to be tempting... I know how much you like them. Plus, there'll be hot birthday sex on offer. You don't want to miss out on that."

Ianto quirked an eyebrow, and Jack was relieved to see a glimmer of amusement displace the melancholy in his eyes. "How exactly does birthday sex differ from sex on any other day?"

"You'll have to wait and find out," Jack replied with a wink.

Ianto continued to look amused but then sobered again and looked at Jack intently. "You're sure you want to put up with me?"

Jack nodded. "Positive."

Ianto's eyes narrowed. "Promise me you're not going to make a fuss. I don't want any surprises, Jack. I just want a nice, quiet day."

"I promise," Jack agreed, trying to hide his disappointment, and putting up his hands in surrender. "No surprises, I swear. As long as we can have a cake. I love birthday cake."

"What sort of cake?" Ianto asked, his curiosity apparently piqued.

"Whatever sort you like," Jack replied.

"Hmm... well, I suppose if we have to. I'd hate to deprive you of an opportunity to gorge yourself on cake." Ianto's expression turned thoughtful. "Chocolate cheesecake?"

Jack couldn't help laughing, pleased to see Ianto's mood lighten, even if only briefly. Ianto had a sweet tooth, much like himself, and the younger man had previously admitted having a fondness for cheesecake, so his suggestion hadn't been unexpected. "Mmm... that does sound good. I'm sure I can manage to find something suitably delicious."

Ianto looked at him with what Jack thought was affection and gratitude even though it was tempered by a lingering trace of sadness. "Jack... thanks. I'm glad I won't be alone this year. I'm happy we're together."

"Me too, Ianto," Jack murmured, smiling as he pulled Ianto into his arms and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. He just hoped that their being together would help to banish some of Ianto's sadness. "Me too," he repeated.


	14. Chapter 14

Ianto's birthday begins! This is the first of four chapters which cover the events of Ianto's special day with Jack. Hope you all enjoy it. I'm amazed and delighted that this story has reached 200 reviews. I never expected that to happen. My sincere thanks to everyone who have so kindly made that possible.

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

Ianto woke slowly, blinking several times as the disorientation of a deep and restful sleep began to fade. Strong arms were wrapped around him, a warm, solid torso pressed against his back, while a familiar pair of soft lips nuzzled the sensitive skin of his neck just below his jaw. It always felt good to be held by Jack, to be wrapped safely in Jack's arms, cocooned in Jack's warmth and comforting, musky scent. Feeling relaxed and content, he reached down to where Jack's hand was splayed over his stomach, curled their fingers together, and tugged gently on Jack's arm to tighten their embrace.

He lingered in the transitory state between slumber and wakefulness for several minutes, his eyelids heavy with the temptation to drift back into unconsciousness. Then a jolt of realisation struck, causing his stomach to twist unpleasantly. The day he'd been dreading for months had arrived... today was the day he turned twenty-one years old.

He'd expected to face the day alone, blanketed in a shroud of despair and self-pity. Instead, Jack had burst into his life, changing it in ways he still wasn't sure he'd fully comprehended. Jack challenged his way of thinking, encouraged him to see himself and the world differently. Jack had brought meaning and passion to his previously bleak existence, and since meeting Jack, he'd experienced more moments of pure happiness than he ever would have thought possible.

He loved being with Jack and he cherished the time they spent together. Even though he wasn't used to talking about himself, he valued having someone who he could talk to and confide in... someone who listened with understanding and without judgment. He loved having sex with Jack, and he couldn't imagine ever getting enough. He enjoyed all the intimacies they shared, even the ones he thought he wouldn't have liked, or would have found distasteful. He'd never imagined that he would know another person's body as well as his own, knowing precisely how to extract every nuance of pleasure, and discovering the unadulterated joy of giving pleasure to another person. He'd never imagined feeling so at ease and lacking in self-consciousness around someone, especially a man as outwardly confident and larger than life as Jack Harkness.

Ianto still struggled at times to believe that Jack could want any kind of serious relationship with him, despite all evidence to the contrary. It all seemed so absurdly improbable. But then he'd remember all the times Jack would smile at him in that soft, intimate way that he liked to think was just for him. Or he'd recall how Jack would look at him with his warm, blue eyes, filled with undisguised affection. While he might doubt what Jack saw in him, it was clear that Jack cared about him and wanted them to be together.

The intensity of his feelings for Jack frightened him. He spent far too much time thinking about Jack. He struggled with these new, uncharted feelings, but he was certain that he was falling in love with the older man. He couldn't fool himself that what he felt for Jack was mere lust or a passing infatuation. It was far deeper and more profound. He'd tried not to dwell on those thoughts too much, knowing it was too soon to be thinking about such potentially life-altering emotions. He found it difficult to imagine Jack loving him in the way that he could imagine loving Jack, and he tried not to think too much about what the future might hold for them.

Jack had quickly become a part of his life, a surprisingly large and vital part, but the happiness he'd found with Jack was often overshadowed by the other, more troubling, aspects of his existence. With the awareness of the significance of the day, a renewed wave of intense grief washed over him. A lump settled in his throat and tears burned at the backs of his eyes. He was on the brink of impending failure, with everything he'd tried so desperately to hold onto slipping inescapably through his fingers. He hadn't even told Jack how perilously close he was to losing what little he had left. He was still struggling to come to terms with that himself.

"Jack, are you awake?" he murmured, fighting to keep the emotion from his voice as he blinked away his tears.

"Mmm-hmm." Jack's grip on him tightened slightly and Jack's lips pressed a kiss to his neck. "Just waiting for you to wake up sleepy-head."

Ianto turned in Jack's embrace and buried his face against Jack's chest. "Hey, you okay?" Jack asked, his voice tinged with concern.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine," Ianto lied. Jack had been good to him, even taking the day off so they could spend it together, and he was determined not to ruin it by wallowing in misery. He kissed Jack's chest and rubbed his unshaven cheek against the smooth flesh in the way that he knew Jack liked.

Jack made a murmur of contentment, his hands stroking slowly over Ianto's back. "I was about to get up and make breakfast. Pancakes still okay?"

"Perfect," Ianto murmured. "But... can we stay here a bit longer first?" He hated sounding so needy, but he wasn't ready to lose the reassurance of Jack's presence quite yet.

Jack pulled him closer. "Sure. You know how much I like to cuddle with you."

Ianto couldn't help but smile. Despite Jack's very masculine exterior, he could be surprisingly sweet and sentimental. "Soppy bugger," he muttered fondly, fully aware of the irony of his words, given that he was currently holding on to Jack for dear life.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. For once, he didn't care. Besides, they didn't have anywhere they had to be at any particular time. It was a rare treat to have a lazy, unhurried morning on a weekday. There had been quite a few lazy mornings in recent times with the Sundays he and Jack spent together, but this was something different.

Then his stomach rumbled loudly, causing him to cringe with embarrassment.

Jack chuckled. "Someone's hungry. Okay if I get up and make breakfast? Can't have you going hungry on my watch, especially not today."

Ianto sighed but lifted himself up to look down at Jack and nodded. He leaned in and kissed Jack's lips, and attempted a relaxed smile. Reluctantly extricating himself from Jack's arms, he rolled over to the edge of the bed and swung his legs down to the floor.

"Hey, where are you going?" Jack asked, already on his feet and tugging on underwear and a t-shirt.

Ianto stopped moving. Still sitting on the edge of the bed, he turned and looked at Jack in confusion. "I'm getting up to help you with breakfast."

"Oh, no you don't," Jack said, shaking his head. "I'm making breakfast for you. We're having breakfast in bed."

"Oh." Ianto stared at Jack dumbly for a moment. He hadn't expected that and it wasn't something they'd ever done before. They always ate breakfast in the kitchen or occasionally while sitting on the sofa. As he thought about it he realised Jack's plan was to follow breakfast with a round or two of the promised not-to-be-missed birthday sex. That certainly wasn't something he was going to complain about. "But surely I can help? At least make the coffee?"

Jack shook his head again, his jaw set determinedly. "Nope."

"Well, I need to pee," Ianto protested.

"All right. But as soon as you're done, I want you back in bed and waiting for me. We're having breakfast and then I have plans for you."

Ianto feigned a dramatic sigh. "Yes, sir."

Ianto's suggestive use of the honorific had the desired effect. Jack growled, and surging forward, he jumped back onto the bed, pulling Ianto into a fierce kiss.

"Don't start without me," Jack warned with a lascivious grin as he pulled away, leaving Ianto slightly breathless.

Smiling smugly to himself as he watched Jack saunter out of the bedroom, Ianto heaved himself to his feet and padded to the bathroom.

After they'd consumed generous helpings of Jack's delicious pancakes, combined with some quite respectable coffee, Jack was true to his word. He began by ravishing Ianto with tender but enthusiastic attention, worshipping him with both his hands and mouth, and seeming to take intense pleasure from every touch and caress. Jack slowly and meticulously explored every inch of Ianto until he was reduced to near incoherency.

Almost frantic with need, Ianto's only remaining thought was how desperately he needed Jack to relieve his blazing arousal. Jack obliged by way of a thoroughly spectacular blow job that left Ianto gasping for breath. With barely enough time to regain his senses, Jack pulled their bodies together and engulfed Ianto's mouth in a deep, passionate kiss, allowing Ianto to taste himself. As the kiss continued unabated, Ianto reached down and began stroking Jack. It was just one of the things that Ianto loved to do with Jack. He adored being able to give Jack so much pleasure with nothing more than the use of his hand. The older man was already fiercely aroused and with Ianto's well-practiced movements, it wasn't long before he was spilling over their stomachs and moaning into Ianto's mouth, their lips still locked together.

They continued kissing lazily until they'd recovered. Grabbing the supplies from the bedside table, Jack moved to the foot of the bed and with a teasing grin, he spread himself out, legs wide apart as he moved slick fingers in and out of his body. He took his time preparing himself, making a show of it while Ianto watched avidly, speechless, and utterly spellbound. Ianto casually stroked himself as he watched, putting on a show of his own for Jack until he was achingly hard again.

Jack moved forward and prepared him, and in one fluid, graceful movement, Jack straddled Ianto's hips and lowered his body. Ianto cried out as Jack impaled himself on him, overwhelmed by the sudden, intense sensation of the joining of their bodies.

Setting a ruthless pace, Jack moved up and down, riding himself on top of Ianto, his hands moving over Ianto's chest, teasing and caressing his nipples. The blue depths of Jack's eyes were filled with desire and need and something deeper that Ianto couldn't quite read. Ianto found that he was unable to look away. He held Jack's intent gaze while he writhed and moaned beneath the older man, completely lost in pleasure. He thrust his hips upwards to meet each of Jack's downward movements, needing to be as deep inside of Jack as was physically possible with every stroke.

Jack arms wrapped around him, pulling him upwards and pressing their chests together. Their mouths slammed against one another in a long, hungry kiss as Jack continued to move rhythmically against him. Jack's erection rubbed against Ianto's stomach, sliding deliciously over his damp flesh, the increased contact causing Jack to let out a deep, languid groan. Ianto fell back against the bed and watched in awe as Jack began stroking himself furiously, his up and down movements becoming less controlled and more erratic.

Ianto didn't know how long they continued like that. They were both panting from exertion and bathed in sweat. All he knew was that it felt so incredibly good and he never wanted it to end.

With a gasp, Jack moaned out Ianto's name and came hard, coating Ianto's stomach with his release. Hearing Jack say his name with such desire, combined with the sight of Jack shuddering through his climax, sent Ianto tumbling over the edge. He surged upwards one more time, burying himself in Jack as he shouted out Jack's name. He throbbed inside of Jack as the older man clenched down around him, heightening the already overwhelming sensation. Their lips met again, and then they collapsed onto the bed in a tangled, sweaty, sticky mess.

"Feel okay?" Jack asked once they'd caught their breaths. He propped himself up on his elbow and gently swept Ianto's damp hair away from where it was stuck to his forehead. He smiled gently as his fingertips stroked tenderly over Ianto's cheek and along the line of his jaw. The pad of his thumb scratched lightly over the stubble on Ianto's chin.

Ianto nodded. "That was... uh... intense." He couldn't help grinning up at Jack. "You were right... I definitely wouldn't have wanted to miss out on that."

Jack laughed softly and rolled onto his back, pulling Ianto on top of him. They shared a deep, slow kiss. "You're spectacular, Ianto. You know that, don't you?" Jack said, looking up at him intently.

"I am?" Ianto asked skeptically.

"You are." Jack's voice was firm and insistent. His features settled into a warm yet surprisingly vulnerable smile. "I can't get enough of you."

The sincerity of Jack's words touched him deeply and they gave Ianto the courage to echo the same thought he'd had earlier. "I can't get enough of you either," he said honestly, his voice little more than a whisper.

Jack's smile grew, and with no more words needing to be said, they kissed again.

###

Jack stood by the low stone wall at the entrance and watched on as Ianto slowly made his way through the seemingly endless rows of headstones, a small bunch of pink and white carnations clutched in his hand. They'd stopped at a flower shop on the way and Ianto had explained that pink were for his mother, they'd always been her favourite, and white was for his father. Jack took a deep breath and glanced up at the sky. The dull morning light and heavy, grey clouds echoed the sombre mood.

He hadn't been particularly surprised when Ianto had told him he wanted to visit his parents graves before they did anything else for the day. Ianto had said he'd go alone and return to Jack's flat afterwards, but Jack had insisted that he'd drive Ianto to the cemetery in Newport. He'd vowed to himself that Ianto wouldn't spend any part of the day alone, and he intended to keep that promise.

They'd had an incredible time together before heading out, and Jack was pleased that he'd been able to take Ianto's mind away from his troubles for a while. He'd done his best to lavish Ianto with attention, wanting him to have no doubts that he was cared for and cherished. But he knew that Ianto was struggling to keep his emotions in check. It was going to be a difficult day for Ianto. However, Jack was determined that the younger man would be able to look back on it with some happy memories.

Since their conversation three nights earlier, Jack had been thinking a lot about their relationship and his feelings for the young Welshman. He freely acknowledged that he loved the time they spent together. He loved being with Ianto whether it was doing something completely mundane or consumed in the heated throes of passion. He loved having Ianto as a trusted friend, companion, and confidant. Admitting that he was completely in love with Ianto was something else entirely. It was a shocking and terrifying realisation, but one that he could no longer deny.

He'd been bemused to discover that his friends were noticing changes in him. After taking Owen to Ianto's shop for the first time, the astute Londoner had casually observed that Jack was utterly besotted with the 'suit-boy' as he'd taken to calling Ianto. When Jack had spluttered incoherently in response, Owen had just clapped him on the back and grinned, telling him he was happy for them, adding that Ianto seemed like a decent bloke. John had been similarly supportive, giving him a knowing look when Jack had finally told him that he and Ianto were involved. John had simply noted that it was good to see Jack so happy, and that being with Ianto was obviously good for him. Jack had felt abashed that his feelings were apparently so transparent.

He'd been in love before, and more than once... at least he thought he had. Looking back with the benefit of a little more maturity, and perhaps a modicum of wisdom, he wasn't quite so sure about that now. What he'd felt in the past had quite possibly been more lust than love, and he wasn't sure if he'd actually known the difference. Nevertheless, it had always ended in disappointment and a measure of heartache.

It was different with Ianto. The intoxicating feelings of lust were present in abundance and had lost none of their initial intensity, but those feelings were only one part of the diverse tapestry of emotions he was only beginning to understand. He just wasn't sure if Ianto felt as deeply as he did, if the younger man was emotionally ready, or if ultimately, they even wanted the same things.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't immediately notice Ianto slowly making his way back towards him. Coming to a stop in front of him, Ianto stood ramrod straight, his face held in a stoic mask of neutrality. However, his eyes betrayed him, and it seemed to Jack that Ianto was almost trembling with the effort of keeping his emotions contained.

Jack took a step forward. "Come here," he said simply, lifting his arms.

Ianto didn't respond for a moment, he just remained still. Then without warning, his mask crumbled, and he suddenly looked utterly lost and vulnerable. He fell forwards into Jack's arms and clung to him.

"I miss them, Jack," he murmured, his voice catching with emotion. "I miss my dad. I just... I just wish I could see him one more time... tell him I love him... tell him I know he always did his best to take care of us. I admired that about him, but I never told him. There's so many things I should have said..."

"I know, Ianto," Jack replied, stroking his hand gently over the back of Ianto's head as he kept his other arm wrapped securely around his waist. He felt tears prickle at his eyes as his heart ached in sympathy with Ianto's pain. He was reminded of his own past losses and how long it had taken him to truly move on. "I know," he repeated in a whisper.

Ianto shuddered and then he eased back and looked at Jack with glistening eyes, his pale, haunted features seeming to be pleading to Jack for comfort.

"He'd be so proud of you, Ianto," Jack said softly, resting his hands on Ianto's shoulders and looking at him intently. "He'd be so proud of the fine man you've grown into."

Ianto nodded but didn't look convinced. "I wish you could have met him, Jack," he said a moment later, his voice breaking. "I think you would have liked him."

"I know I would have," Jack agreed sincerely.

He found it difficult to look into Ianto's eyes, to see the pain that time hadn't yet dulled, and know he was powerless to do anything about it. There were no words, nothing he could do or say that would make a difference. All he could do was be there, and hope that somehow he could be what Ianto needed.

He gave Ianto's shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Ready to go?"

Ianto responded with a sad ghost of a smile. "Yeah."

Lowering his arms, Jack reached for Ianto's hand and curled their fingers together. He held on tightly as they walked slowly back to the parking area. There was no-one else around, and to Jack's relief, Ianto didn't make any attempt to relinquish the contact between them.

"What do you feel like doing now?" Jack asked after they'd climbed back into his car and he'd started the engine.

Ianto shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Good," Jack said, turning and giving him an encouraging smile. "Because we're going shopping. I want to buy you a birthday present."

"Jack..." Ianto began to protest.

"You're getting a present," Jack said firmly, cutting him off.

"Jack, you don't..." Ianto tried again.

"Yes, I do," Jack said, using a sterner tone of voice, and leaving no room for further debate. "I would have had something for you already, it's just that I couldn't decide what to get for you," he added apologetically.

He'd always been terrible at choosing gifts, and with Ianto's unpredictable and discerning tastes, he'd been totally confounded. But he'd found something that he thought might be a possibility, he just wasn't sure if Ianto would like it. "Nothing seemed good enough for you," he added. "So, you can help me find something you really like."

Ianto breathed out a deep sigh, looking resigned to his fate. "All right. Let's go shopping."


	15. Chapter 15

Ianto's birthday adventures continue. Enjoy! Please review and let me know if you're enjoying the story. Thanks very much.

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

It was late morning by the time they'd returned to Cardiff. Jack parked in one of the large multi-storey car parks in the city centre, and they made their way on foot into the bustling shopping district. Walking along at Jack's side, Ianto wondered where they were going. Jack was being a little too obvious in his attempt to appear casual and unhurried, but he seemed to have a specific destination in mind.

The return journey had been made mostly in silence, and Ianto had been lost in his memories of the past. Jack hadn't tried to engage him in conversation, for which he was grateful. Jack always seemed to understand when he needed space to deal with things in his own way. Gradually he'd managed to drag his mind back to the present. He'd looked at Jack frequently, reminding himself how incredibly fortunate he was to have Jack not only as a friend – his best friend – but so much more.

Except for a couple of times when Ianto had accompanied Jack to the supermarket, they'd never been shopping together before. He smiled to himself as he recalled their expeditions to Jack's local Tesco. He hadn't thought it possible for someone to show such unrestrained exuberance for the tedium of shopping for groceries. Jack could be very strange sometimes, finding pleasure in the most mundane of activities. Jack might be many things, some of them even rather annoying at times, like when Ianto was trying to watch a film or read a book and Jack wouldn't keep his hands to himself, but boring definitely wasn't one of them.

He was uncomfortable with Jack spending money on him. He hated feeling penniless and pitiable. Spending the day together was Jack's gift to him, and that was far more precious than anything that could be purchased over a store counter. That was all he'd wanted, just to spend time with Jack. But he appreciated the gesture and accepted it was something Jack wanted to do. He'd come to realise it was easier to indulge Jack's various whims than to argue over trivial things that didn't really matter. Jack made a great many concessions for him, so it seemed only fair that he extended Jack the same courtesy. He didn't want to hurt the older man's feelings by seeming ungrateful.

So, when Jack had asked him what he wanted as they'd left the car park, Ianto had politely suggested he could do with a new pair of jeans. It was a sensible option, it wouldn't be too expensive, and his selection of casual clothes was a bit limited. Jeans were something he couldn't make himself. He'd even tried once, but to his disappointment, the end result had looked more like a pair of suit trousers made out of denim. Ianto liked a challenge, but he also knew when to admit defeat. Plus, he'd conceded he could buy an inexpensive but decent pair of jeans for less than he could attempt to make them himself.

On hearing his suggestion, Jack had given him a look of amused exasperation. Ianto supposed he could have suggested one of those fancy touch-screen portable media players, but that seemed entirely too indulgent, and while his dated MP3 player was basic, cheap, and had limited capacity, it did the job. Ianto was nothing if not practical, and he didn't indulge himself in unnecessary luxuries. He'd never had the means to anyway.

He allowed Jack to take charge, oddly enjoying the strange role reversal, and soon enough they'd ended up in the menswear section on the third floor of Nobles, one of the more upmarket and prestigious department stores in Cardiff. He'd only been inside the stylish store once before, and after discovering its contents were mostly well beyond his price range, he hadn't bothered to return. These kinds of stores had always felt rather intimidating to him, but Jack seemed to be completely at ease, as always.

For as long as Ianto could remember, money had always been scarce, and he'd saved every penny he'd earned working at his father's side towards buying his car. He'd learned it was better just to stay away from temptation. With it's modern, glossy, brightly lit interior, the department store was a world apart from his own little shop. It was completely lacking in charm and it felt soulless, yet he was thankful nothing about it evoked a sense of familiarity. He wondered if Jack had chosen the store for that very reason, but quickly dismissed the notion. With the uniqueness of his shop, it would have been impossible to find anything remotely like it anywhere else.

"Here we go." Jack peered at the size details and then handed him a pair of Diesel dark denim jeans. Ianto had been watching on in amusement as Jack had rifled through every brand and style of jeans on display. "Go and try these on, Ianto. They're a bit darker than what you normally wear, but I think they'll look amazing on you."

Ianto looked at the proffered jeans dubiously and felt his mouth drop open as he spotted the price tag. "These are too expensive, Jack."

"No, they're not, and no looking at price tags today." Jack gestured vaguely at some nearby racks of shirts. "I just want to have a look over there for a minute, then I'll come over and see what they look like on you." He smiled and nudged Ianto in the direction of the changing rooms. "Go on."

Ianto sighed. "Fine."

With as much grace as he could muster, he trundled off towards the entry to the changing rooms and made his way down the row of cubicles to the one at the far end, closing the door behind him. Not being lunchtime yet, the store wasn't overly busy, and only one of the other cubicles was currently occupied. He unlaced and removed his shoes, and feeling a bit warm from being in the store, he slipped off his casual jacket and hung it on one of the pegs on the side wall.

"Ianto?" He'd just changed into the over-priced jeans and was eyeing them critically in the cubicle's large mirrors when he heard Jack's voice calling out nearby.

"In here," he said, cracking the door open and sticking his head out through the gap.

Jack was standing a few feet away, looking back and forward. Ianto narrowed his eyes suspiciously when he noticed Jack was carrying a deep purple, long-sleeved shirt and what appeared to be a black leather jacket.

"Oh, there you are." Jack grinned and pushed his way into the cubicle, closing the door behind them, and casually hanging up the articles of clothing he'd been carrying.

Ianto only just managed to bite back a comment about Jack's lack of regard for personal space. Not that he usually minded, but they were in public, and he was fairly certain the cubicles hadn't been designed to contain two grown men at once.

"Wow!" Jack turned around, pressing himself up against Ianto's back. His hands settled on Ianto's hips and he looked over Ianto's shoulder and into the mirror. "They're perfect. Just look at your gorgeous butt."

He grinned suggestively, and as if to prove his point, he gave Ianto a teasing pat on the bottom, his eyes meeting Ianto's in the mirror. His right hand then reached forward to brush over Ianto's crotch. "Not that the front isn't fantastic too. So, do you like them?"

Ianto felt heat rising in his cheeks as he looked at their reflection. Jack's chin was resting on his shoulder and he was beaming at him, his eyes bright and playful. Ianto cast his eyes down, feeling self-conscious. He had to admit the jeans looked really good. The denim was surprisingly soft against his skin, but, while the fit was excellent, they were a bit tighter than what he normally wore. "I like them," he said cautiously. "They're not too snug?"

"Not from where I'm standing," Jack replied, still grinning. "They'll stretch a bit as you wear them in anyway. They always do."

Ianto was startled when Jack reached around him and started unbuttoning his shirt. "I want you to try on this shirt and jacket too."

"Jack, the jeans are fine," Ianto protested. "I don't need to try anything else."

"Just humour me, okay? I want to see what they look like on you." He'd finished unfastening Ianto's shirt buttons and tugged it off, dropping it unceremoniously to the floor, on top of Ianto's shoes. Ianto felt doubly self-conscious now that they were both staring at his half-naked body in the mirror. Jack's eyes grew clouded with undisguised hunger. "These jeans look even better now."

Jack didn't waste any time with slipping Ianto into the dark purple shirt and buttoning it up. He nodded in approval, humming appreciatively as his eyes raked over the outfit. "This is a great colour on you. What do you think?"

Ianto fingered the soft fabric of the shirt, smoothing down the front. It seemed to be well made, and the material was good quality, but he was itching to check the price tag. "It's a very nice shirt."

Jack looked pleased. "I think so. Let's try the jacket with it."

With little choice but to play along, Ianto slipped his arms into the fitted leather jacket as Jack smoothed it over his shoulders. He'd never worn a leather jacket before. The butter-soft nappa leather felt almost sensual as he trailed his fingertips over it's length, and it fitted him like a glove, the clean lines framing his wide shoulders almost perfectly. He didn't realise Jack had such a good eye for picking out sizes. Jack was staring at him, his arms wrapped firmly around Ianto's waist, and his mouth hanging slightly open. He seemed surprisingly lost for words.

"You look incredible, Ianto," Jack whispered after a moment. "Do you like the jacket?"

"It must cost a small fortune, Jack," Ianto argued, avoiding answering the question.

Jack rolled his eyes in a very Ianto-like manner. "Forget about that. Just tell me honestly, do you like it?"

Ianto sighed but nodded, unable to help but admire his image in the mirror. He shyly met Jack's gaze. "I love it."

"Good." Jack pulled Ianto closer and kissed the back of his neck. "I'm getting you the whole outfit. And don't even think about arguing with me."

Ianto shook his head vehemently. "Jack, you can't... it's too much."

"Ianto, you only turn twenty-one once and I want to get you something nice." Jack gave him a pleading look. "Just let me do this for you?"

Ianto was horrified that Jack was going to spend what had to be at least several hundred pounds on him. Given his current circumstances, the full extent of which Jack wasn't aware of yet, it was insanely indulgent. But as he looked into Jack's eyes, he knew that if he refused, he'd hurt the other man's feelings. He also couldn't deny that Jack's gesture was very flattering.

"All right," he agreed, smiling. "I really appreciate it. Thanks, Jack."

Turning in Jack's arms, he pressed their lips together. Jack didn't hesitate to kiss him back, and they continued kissing each other hungrily, only stopping when they were both gasping for air.

Jack turned him around so they were facing the mirror again. He removed the jacket, putting it neatly back on its hanger. The new shirt followed, and Ianto was once again standing half-naked, with Jack's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Every time I look at you, I can't believe how lucky I am," Jack murmured, resting his chin on Ianto's bare shoulder and kissing his jaw. "You know I'm yours, don't you? I know it sounds crazy, but I think I've been yours since the day I met you. I knew if I didn't try... if I didn't find out if you could be interested in me... I would have regretted that for the rest of my life."

Jack's voice was so soft and earnest that Ianto couldn't doubt the sincerity of Jack's words, no matter how difficult he found it to believe them. "I'm yours too," he whispered, lifting his eyes to meet Jack's.

Jack smiled and kissed his shoulder. They held each other's gaze for a long moment, and then the vulnerability in Jack's eyes receded and was replaced with a mischievous glimmer. In a flurry of movement, Jack had Ianto's jeans unfastened. Ianto gasped in shock and looked at their reflection with wide eyes as Jack pushed his underwear down and started to stroke him.

"Jack, we can't," Ianto protested, feeling a spike of panic, worried that someone could attempt to push the door open at any moment. He reached to push Jack's hand away even as he was responding rapidly to the movement of Jack's talented fingers. "Not here. Someone might walk in on us... or hear us."

"We'll just have to be quiet, that's all." Jack's other hand moved up to caress Ianto's chest, teasing his nipples while he continued to press kisses along Ianto's shoulder and over his neck. "And no-one can see us. But if you want me to stop, you only have to say so."

Ianto was already too far gone. He felt a visceral thrill as he looked at himself in the mirror with a mixture of embarrassment and fascination. His pale skin looked almost pure white under the store's bright fluorescent lighting, accentuating the contrast of his dark body hair even more than usual. He stared at the reflected image of his hard, leaking erection wrapped in Jack's warm hand. It was like watching some lurid fantasy. "God, no," he heard himself gasp. "Don't stop."

"Look at us," Jack said, murmuring into Ianto's ear as he continued moving his hand in slow, firm strokes, just the way Ianto liked. Ianto shifted his gaze to meet Jack's eyes in the mirror. "Look at how amazing we are together. I want you to watch yourself, Ianto... watch yourself as I make you come."

Jack's words sent a fiery rush of arousal surging through him. Despite himself, Ianto couldn't tear his eyes away. He'd often thought how young and ordinary he looked next to Jack. In Ianto's eyes, Jack was close to perfection, while he felt entirely unexceptional by comparison. He'd gotten used to seeing himself with Jack when they were in the bathroom together, and Jack often told him how beautiful he was, but he'd always thought that was a bit ridiculous. Jack probably said that to everyone he was with, and while he didn't doubt Jack's sincerity, he didn't think it really meant anything.

However, as he looked at them together in the mirror, and witnessed the raw desire and need visible in Jack's eyes and in his own, combining with something deeper and more elusive, he couldn't deny that they looked good together.

He watched as his skin began to flush... watched the look of rapture spread over his features... watched his eyes darken with passion and arousal. He climaxed embarrassingly quickly, reaching back to grip Jack's hips as he swallowed down a deep groan, and erupted into Jack's hand in a blistering wave of pleasure. Jack managed to catch all of his release in his hand. Ianto slumped back against Jack's chest and watched hazily as Jack raised his hand to his mouth and slowly licked it clean, his eyes never breaking contact with Ianto's.

Ianto turned to look directly at Jack, distractedly tucking himself back into his underwear. "Your turn," he whispered insistently, claiming Jack's mouth in a fierce kiss and nudging him up against the wall.

He hastily unbuttoned Jack's shirt, and pushing it out of the way, he roamed his hands over Jack's firm, smooth flesh. Dropping to his knees, he unfastened Jack's jeans and pulled them down along with Jack's underwear in one swift movement. With a teasing lick from base to tip, he took Jack's hard length into his mouth. He heard Jack let out a strained whimper as the older man's hands gripped his shoulders. With ample opportunity to practice his technique, Ianto had become quite adept, at least if Jack's response each time was anything to go by. With his hands pressed against Jack's hips, he applied everything he'd learned with single-minded enthusiasm.

Pausing to glance up, he saw that Jack was watching them in the mirror, his expression completely enthralled. Resuming his ministrations, it wasn't long before he heard Jack gasp, and looking up again, he was amused to see Jack reach up and curl his hand into a fist, pressing it against his mouth to stop himself from crying out.

With one final flick of his tongue, Jack came hard, and Ianto greedily swallowed every drop, savouring Jack's taste. He licked his lips appreciatively as he pulled back and Jack slipped from his mouth.

Jack hooked his hands under Ianto's arms and hauled him upright. They kissed again, and while it was softer and less hurried this time, it was no less passionate. Jack's hands trailed over his back and then cupped his face as they explored each others mouths.

"Wow," Jack exclaimed in a hushed whisper as their kiss finally ended.

"Yeah," Ianto agreed gleefully.

They grinned madly at each other. Ianto couldn't quite believe what they'd just done, and he was more than a little shocked by how much he'd enjoyed it. Jack's kinks and fetishes were obviously starting to rub off on him. Jack had clearly enjoyed it too, judging from his dazed expression.

"Jack," Ianto murmured, kissing him again. "I think we should go clothes shopping more often."


	16. Chapter 16

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

Ianto stared out over the ragged shoreline and breathed in the brisk sea air. The heavy, grey clouds from earlier in the day had eased, allowing weak sunlight to push through. He was thankful for the lack of rain, the mild summer day giving them the chance to spend the afternoon outdoors. Despite the favourable weather, the beach was deserted. There was just the two of them huddled together on the sand, with a parcel of fish and chips nestled between them.

Reaching down to grab a chip, Ianto popped it into his mouth and chewed slowly as he gave Jack a sidelong glance. The older man was munching enthusiastically on his second piece of battered cod, pausing between mouthfuls to grab several more chips. Jack had casually remarked that after their changing room tryst, he'd worked up a hearty appetite. For Ianto, the mere mention of their earlier encounter caused a rush of heat from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears, along with an uncomfortable tightness between his legs.

After leaving the department store they'd driven back to Jack's flat, dropped off Ianto's new clothes, and enjoyed a cup of coffee. Jack had suggested a trip to Porthcawl for the afternoon, Ianto had promptly agreed with the appealing suggestion, and they'd set off again.

Ianto liked the expansive, windswept beach. He enjoyed the sense of peace and isolation. There was just sand, water, and sky for as far as the eye could see. The only sounds were the rush of the ocean and the occasional bird in the sky. It felt like they could be sitting at the edge of the world, just himself and Jack, together.

"We can drive up to Caerphilly Castle on Sunday if you like," Jack said conversationally while he continued to eat. "It'll probably be the last chance we get for a few weeks. After that I'll be busy getting ready to move house."

Ianto nodded, snagging a couple more chips. "Okay, that sounds like fun. And I'll help with moving, if you want me to."

"That'd be great." Jack sounded relieved. "Owen and John offered to pitch in, but I'm not sure if I trust them with my stuff." He sighed and grabbed another handful of chips, promptly shoving them into his mouth. "Want some more?" he mumbled while his mouth was full, gesturing at the parcel.

Ianto shook his head and raised his bottle of water to his lips. "I'm full. You finish them off."

"It's kind of overwhelming," Jack continued. "You don't realise how much you've accumulated until you've gotta start shifting it all."

"Don't worry. We'll get it sorted," Ianto assured him.

He lapsed into silence again as Jack finished off his lunch. Jack's talk of moving had given him an opening, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to take it. He didn't want Jack's pity, nor did he want to unsettle the mood for the rest of the day. Overall, he'd had a unexpectedly good day so far and he wanted that to continue. But Jack was going to know sooner or later, so Ianto decided he might as well take the opportunity and just to get it over with.

"I might be moving soon too," he said hesitantly, keeping his eyes focused on the horizon.

"Oh. How come?" Jack asked casually, but Ianto could hear the underlying note of confusion and concern in his voice.

Ianto took a deep breath and steeled himself. "The business is falling apart, Jack. I've used up the last bit of savings I had left. The landlord increased the rent of the shop last month, and I only barely managed to pay this month's rent on my flat. Plus my car insurance is due soon and I don't know how I'm going to pay it."

He paused and drew in another long breath, trying to contain the feeling of despair that he might soon be both homeless and unemployed. "I was trying to keep some money aside, but I've had to use it up on my day-to-day expenses. It's all such a mess. I'm probably going to have to give up my flat and ask my sister if I can stay with her until I decide what to do."

"Ianto, I didn't realise," Jack said, his voice quiet and concerned. "I knew things were difficult, but..."

"I didn't want to tell you," Ianto said quickly, cutting him off. "I suppose I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, or be disappointed in me. When we're together... when I with you... that's the one good thing in my life. Everything else has turned to shit. I've failed my dad... even worse, I've failed myself. I didn't want you to see me as a failure too." His breath hitched as his voice wavered. "I can't bear the thought of that."

Ianto reluctantly turned his head and chanced a look at Jack, fearing what he might see in the other man's eyes. He was relieved to see only worry and compassion. He looked down as he felt Jack's hand take his, and watched as Jack wrapped their fingers together.

Jack squeezed his hand. "You're not a failure, Ianto. It seems to me that you've done everything you could to make the best of an incredibly difficult situation." He paused for a moment. "I meant what I said this morning," he continued, his voice becoming more earnest. "You're a fine man, and I'm sure that your dad would be proud of you."

Jack lifted his hand and gently nudged Ianto's chin upwards with the tip of his thumb. Ianto reluctantly looked up at him again. "I've never known anyone like you, Ianto. You're quite extraordinary."

Ianto stared at Jack in disbelief. He searched Jack's eyes for any sign of insincerity, doubt or disappointment, but found none. Not trusting himself to reply, he just nodded and gave Jack a tentative smile. Jack brushed the back of his hand along Ianto's jaw before letting it fall to his side.

"I don't know what to do," Ianto said eventually, scooping up some sand and watching as it slipped through his fingers.

"You'll figure it out." Jack's voice was reassuring and Ianto wished he could have the same confidence in himself that Jack seemed to. "And whatever happens, you've got me, okay? That's not going to change."

Ianto nodded, feeling a measure of comfort both for having unburdened himself and from Jack's reaction. "Okay."

Ianto watched Jack look out into the distance for a long moment. When Jack looked back at him, his expression was uncertain and wary. "Jack?" Ianto prompted. "What's wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. But there's something I wanted to talk to you about too. I'm just not sure if the timing is very good." Jack paused, seemingly reluctant to continue.

"What is it?" Ianto asked, concern growing for what might have unsettled the usually imperturbable man. It reminded him of when Jack had asked him out for the first time.

"I don't want to freak you out," Jack continued hurriedly. "I know it might sound crazy, but I'd actually been thinking about asking you... when I move into the new house... well, I wondered if you might consider moving in with me."

Ianto stared at him in shock, feeling completely dumbfounded. "I, um... I don't know what to say."

"I know it seems sudden, but with what you've just told me, it could be the ideal solution. It wouldn't have to be permanent if you didn't want it to be, and there's the spare bedroom, so you could have your own space with your own things. I thought it might be nice... since you don't like your flat very much... plus, we spend so much of our spare time together these days... in a lot of ways, it wouldn't be that much of a change."

"I suppose that's true," Ianto agreed cautiously.

Everything Jack said made sense, and he couldn't deny that the idea of being with Jack and living in a comfortable, newly renovated house was incredibly appealing. Not having to worry about finding enough money to cover his rent each month would be a weight off his mind too. He'd have to pay his share of the utilities and groceries, although he suspected Jack would argue with him on that.

"It seems like a big step," he pondered aloud, trying to think it through rationally. "It's not that I don't want to, but it all seems a bit soon, doesn't it?"

Jack seemed to relax, probably relieved that Ianto hadn't bolted away in a state of panic. "I guess it is, but maybe we need to look at it practically. It would take the financial pressure off a bit for you... you wouldn't be paying rent anymore... and, I could be wrong, but I doubt you actually want to stay with your sister."

"It's definitely a last resort," Ianto agreed. The idea of staying with his sister filled him with a sense of dread. He knew she wouldn't turn him away, but she'd never give him any peace either. "But short of setting up a camp bed in the back of the shop, I couldn't think of any other alternative."

"Maybe just look at it like this," Jack said carefully. "I'll have a spare room, you could use a place to stay... neither of us particularly like living alone, and we like being together. If nothing else, it gives you another option." He smiled tentatively. "Will you at least give it some thought?"

Ianto was still astonished by the unexpected offer, but he nodded. "Of course I will."

"Good." Jack smiled with more certainty. He rolled up the now empty paper their lunch had been wrapped in. "In the meantime, let's try to enjoy the rest of the day. How about we go for a walk?"

Ianto nodded again and standing up, they set off down the beach. With no-one in sight, Ianto reached for Jack's hand. He needed Jack's comfort, but he also wanted to express his gratitude. He was relieved when Jack didn't hesitate to intertwine their fingers and hold on tightly.

###

It was after five-thirty when they arrived back at Jack's flat, having made a detour to a bakery in the bay area to collect the birthday cake that Jack had ordered two days earlier. Jack had chuckled as Ianto eyed the box curiously, and he could tell the younger man was itching to take a peek inside, but he remained undeterred about keeping it as a surprise.

They'd both ended up dirty and disheveled after their trip to the beach. What had begun as a leisurely walk along the shore had turned into a furious race. Jack discovered that Ianto could sprint surprisingly fast and he'd struggled to keep up. Eventually he'd managed to tackle the younger man to the ground, and after a battle for dominance as they rolled in the sand, they'd ended up kissing with frantic abandon. Jack had enjoyed seeing Ianto laugh and lose himself in the moment. While the day had been an emotional roller coaster, Jack hoped Ianto would be able to look back on the lighter moments fondly.

Ianto's revelation of the full nature of his financial situation had unsettled Jack deeply. While it hadn't been a great surprise, he hadn't realised the situation had become quite so desperate. Ianto was going to have to make a heartbreaking decision soon, and Jack feared what the impact of that decision would have on Ianto and on their relationship. Beyond offering Ianto a place to stay, he felt powerless to do anything. Although he badly wanted to help, he wondered if he'd been impulsive. If Ianto accepted his offer, there might always be the lingering doubt in his mind about whether Ianto had made the choice out of necessity or because he truly wanted to live with him.

Breathing out a sigh, he forced his thoughts back to the present and returned his attention to setting his small table for dinner. After convincing Ianto to indulge in a leisurely bath, he'd taken a shower and changed into his best pair of jeans and the blue dress shirt he knew Ianto liked. That had given him time to order their dinner, set the table, and quickly iron the spare shirt Ianto had brought with him the night before. It was the red dress shirt Ianto had worn on their first date at the restaurant, and he'd noticed it was creased from being packed into Ianto's rucksack. He would have loved for Ianto to wear his new shirt for the evening, but knowing the younger man's fastidious nature, it would need to be washed first.

Lighting the large candle he'd placed at the centre of the table, he wondered if he was trying too hard to make the evening special. He hoped Ianto would at least appreciate the effort.

He was opening the bottle of wine he'd bought for the occasion when Ianto padded into the room, dressed in the red shirt and a clean pair of jeans, looking relaxed and perfectly groomed once again. His expression was one of astonishment as he looked down at the table and then back up at Jack.

"Jack, you didn't have to go to so much trouble," he said after a moment.

"No trouble," Jack assured him. "It's not too much?" he asked nervously, putting the bottle down and stepping forward to stand in front of the other man. He smiled self-deprecatingly and kissed Ianto gently. "I wanted tonight to be special... romantic."

"No... no, it's brilliant." Ianto smiled softly. "I just thought we'd be eating takeaway on the sofa like we normally do."

"I think we can do a bit better than that for such a special occasion." Jack smiled in return. "Dinner should be here in a few minutes. Do you want some wine now, or a beer first, and wine later?"

"I'll have some wine, thanks."

Jack moved back to the table and poured two glasses. Passing one to Ianto, he gestured to the sofa. "Sit down and relax."

It was only a couple of minutes later when the buzzer for Jack's door sounded. "That'll be dinner," Jack said, standing up from where he'd sat down next to Ianto. "I'll just be a minute."

When he'd returned, Ianto had moved their glasses to the table and topped them up. Carrying the bag of Chinese takeaway to the kitchen, Jack unpacked the containers of food and distributed it between their plates. Since they had the cake, he hadn't gone overboard with the order, sticking with a couple of their favourite dishes along with fried rice and spring rolls. He carried the plates over to the table and they sat down.

Jack picked up his glass and took a moment to gaze at Ianto, admiring the way the candlelight accentuated the younger man's handsome features. "I had all these things I wanted to say, but the food will get cold, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet." He took a deep breath. "Ianto, meeting you was the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. I know we haven't been together very long, but I wouldn't change this for the world, and I never want you to doubt how important you are to me. I'm just happy you're here and that we were able to spend the day together." He smiled widely and raised his glass. "So, here's to you. Happy Birthday, Ianto."

Ianto smiled shyly and raised his glass in return. "Thanks, Jack... thanks for everything today... for making it so special. Today has been better than I ever could have imagined. Iechyd da."

"Cheers," Jack replied, warmed by Ianto's words as he took a sip of the wine which he was pleased to find was excellent. "Hmm, this looks good," he noted, picking up a spring roll and devouring it. "I'm starving."

"You said that at lunchtime," Ianto said as he sipped his wine.

Jack was unrepentant. "Well, you had me chasing you up and down the beach half the afternoon since then. All that running works up an appetite."

Somewhat predictably, Ianto rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "So it's all my fault then?"

"Absolutely," Jack said, nodding solemnly.

"You won't have to chase me anymore today." Ianto gave him an impish grin. "I promise."

Jack laughed. "That's a relief. There are other activities I'd much rather use my energy on tonight."

They ate in relative but comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on the food or making small talk about nothing in particular. It was just one of the many things Jack liked about being with Ianto. He didn't feel that he had to talk all the time or try to be entertaining or engaging. They could just spend time together quietly without undue awkwardness.

It was a while later when Ianto pushed his plate back with a satisfied sigh. "That was delicious. Hope I've got room for some cake."

Jack topped up their glasses, emptying the bottle. "I'm sure you'll manage," he said, smiling.

Ianto need not have worried and Jack watched fondly as the younger man ate his large serving of chocolate cheesecake with enthusiasm. Jack couldn't deny that it tasted fantastic, but he was getting more enjoyment from watching Ianto eat it than he did from eating it himself.

"More?" Jack suggested teasingly when Ianto put down his empty plate, exchanging it for his cup of coffee.

Ianto groaned and shook his head. "If I eat anything else, I think I'll explode."

"That's okay." Jack chuckled and patted Ianto's knee. "You can have some more tomorrow."

They finished off their coffees and Jack decided it was time to move on to the next stage of the evening. He reached for the remote control on the coffee table and thumbed on the audio system. Then he picked up his phone and tapped on the screen a couple of times to select the play list he'd created the day before. He'd chosen what he hoped was a suitable selection of contemporary and classic ballads.

Hauling himself to his feet, and smiling at Ianto who was watching him curiously and with a hint of suspicion, he tapped once more and put the phone down on the table. Soft, languid music began playing, quietly enveloping the room.

He reached for Ianto's hand. "Ianto Jones, may I have this dance?"

Ianto looked up at him with an astonished expression, but he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Jack, I... I can't dance. Never learned to."

"It doesn't matter," Jack assured him, moving them over to the empty area between the sofa and the adjacent wall. "I'll teach you."

Ianto looked at him doubtfully. "Nothing difficult, I promise," Jack added.

"All right. I'll try," Ianto said with a nod but continued to look reluctant.

Jack positioned Ianto's left hand on his back, and placed his right hand on Ianto's left shoulder. Pulling Ianto closer, he entwined the fingers of their other hands together and rested their joined hands against his chest. Jack smiled at Ianto and took the lead, patiently guiding Ianto to follow his steps as he moved them slowly in time to the music.

After a series of stumbles, Jack was amused to find that Ianto really couldn't dance. His movements were stiff and lacked their usual grace. Jack actually found it quite endearing. Ianto excelled at so many things, it was refreshing to find something for which he didn't have a natural proficiency. Although Jack was sure that with a bit of practice – well maybe a lot of practice, he corrected as Ianto stumbled again and trod on his toes – the younger man could become a fairly decent dancer.

"Told you I can't dance," Ianto mumbled as his feet got tangled up again and he stumbled against Jack.

"You're doing fine," Jack said, trying to keep a straight face. "You'll soon get the hang of it. It's kind of fun though, isn't it?"

Ianto sighed. "Yeah, it is. As long as you don't mind having bruised toes."

Jack chuckled. "I'm sure I'll survive."

Eventually Ianto loosened up a little and they settled into a slow, swaying rhythm. Jack didn't care about Ianto's skill or lack thereof. He'd just wanted to share the quiet intimacy with the younger man. He smiled as he spun Ianto around in an outside turn and then pulled him close again. Dancing was just one of a long list of fantasies he'd imagined them doing together.

The next song started and Jack pulled Ianto closer. The song, 'Now and Forever' by Richard Marx, felt particularly poignant. The lyrics and what they meant to him filled his thoughts.

_I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given to me... I'll try to show you each and every way I can..._

He was intoxicated by Ianto's presence in his arms. He'd come so close to telling Ianto how he truly felt many times that day. He wanted to say those simple yet terrifying words, but he was scared it was too soon... that Ianto wouldn't want to hear them... that he might not feel the same way.

_Now I can rest my worries and always be sure... That I won't be alone anymore... If I'd only known you were there all this time..._

Jack tilted his head forward and rubbed their cheeks together. He reveled in the pleasure of Ianto's smooth face pressed against his own, of holding Ianto in his arms, and being surrounded by Ianto's warmth. He imagined a lifetime filled with moments like this. Resting his head on Ianto's shoulder, he encircled the younger man's waist with his arms.

They clung to each other as one song drifted into the next, their movements reduced to little more than swaying back and forth. When the music eventually ended, and a still silence settled over the room, they shared a long, slow kiss.

"Jack, can we go to bed now?" Ianto asked in little more than a whisper, his features clouded with emotion. "I need you... and I... I'm ready."

Jack looked at him in surprise while trying to hide his concern. There was a desperate pleading in the younger man's eyes. "You're sure? We've talked about this. There's no rush."

"I know, but I need this." Ianto's voice was tremulous but determined. "I don't want to wait any longer."

Jack nodded and gave Ianto an encouraging smile. He took Ianto's hand and led him into the bedroom.


	17. Chapter 17

Here we go, the final part of Ianto's birthday. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

Jack held onto Ianto's hand as he reached forward and flicked on the bedside lamp, enveloping the room in the familiar, soft glow. Ianto was reminded of their first time together after their date at the restaurant. The same frisson of anticipation churned deep in his stomach, mixing with a small but palpable note of fear. He took a deep breath as he tried to ignore the sound of his heartbeat pounding furiously in his ears.

In many ways, Ianto thought that he and Jack would never truly be equals. The age difference would always be a division between them, with Jack having the advantage of greater maturity and wisdom. It wasn't the insurmountable obstacle Ianto had once thought it would be, and most of the time he didn't even consciously think about it anymore. It helped that Jack never seemed to worry about their age disparity, and he always treated Ianto with the utmost respect and equality. Yet, the fact remained that Ianto would always be significantly younger, and comparatively less experienced.

There was nothing he could do about that, and he supposed with time, he'd continue to grow more comfortable with the situation, and perhaps even accept that it was advantageous in some ways. However, when they were intimate, Ianto wanted to feel that he was Jack's equal in every way. Jack always gave himself willingly, showing unwavering trust, and Ianto wanted to do the same. He wanted to know that he could at least attempt to offer Jack everything that he might desire from a sexual partner. While Jack had never indicated that he was anything less than satisfied with their sexual relationship, Ianto was tired of the feeling, no matter how unfounded, that he wasn't enough.

Over the last several weeks, Jack had started helping him to get past his fears. It had been a frustratingly slow process. Jack had begun with gentle exploration, first with his fingers, and then with his mouth. It had been another new experience for Ianto. While their first few attempts had resulted in him tensing up and becoming acutely anxious, they'd gradually made some progress, much to his relief. He still had moments on anxiety and panic, but once he got past those initial autonomic reactions and reminded himself that he was safe with Jack, he'd begin to relax and enjoy himself.

Jack turned towards him and his arms encircled Ianto's waist. Jack smiled and they shared an unhurried kiss. When the kiss ended, Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder, nuzzling his face against Jack's neck. He clung tightly to Jack, breathing him in, drawing comfort and reassurance.

He didn't know if he was truly ready to take this final step, but he'd waited long enough. He was tired of the ongoing internal conflict. He wanted to feel Jack inside him. He wanted to give Jack the same pleasure that Jack gave to him. He'd fantasised about how good it would feel, and he knew without a shadow of doubt that Jack would never intentionally hurt him. He recognised that his fears were completely irrational, the product of a traumatic moment at an especially vulnerable point in his life. But intellectually acknowledging that irrationality didn't make it any less real.

"Ianto, I need to know," Jack said quietly, easing Ianto back so their eyes could meet. "You're not doing this just for me, are you?"

"No," Ianto insisted, shaking his head. "I want this. I want to feel you inside me, Jack. But I want it for you too... I want it for us." He paused and tried to quiet his growing distress. "I made a stupid mistake, but I don't want to use that as an excuse any longer."

For a brief, irrational moment, Ianto wondered if Jack didn't want to be with him like this. "Don't you want me?" he blurted out, his voice wavering.

He immediately regretted his hasty words when Jack looked distressed by the suggestion. "Ianto, no... never think that... I want you... I want you in every possible way. But I'm not sure if you're ready. I don't want you to have any regrets."

"I won't," Ianto said forcefully. He kissed Jack, hoping to reassure him. "I promise I won't."

Jack looked at him uncertainly but then nodded. He reached up and caressed Ianto's cheek. "You need to talk to me and tell me if it's too much or if you want to stop," he said, looking into Ianto's eyes intently. "I'll listen to anything you say. You say stop and we stop, okay?"

Ianto nodded, feeling a swell of emotion from Jack's concern. He didn't think anyone else would have been as patient and understanding as Jack had been. Recalling Jack's heartfelt words earlier in the evening, he stared into Jack's warm blue eyes and realised that the older man had simply echoed his own sentiments. Finding Jack had given him meaning, and being with Jack was something he wouldn't change for the world.

Reaching up with both hands, Ianto slowly unbuttoned Jack's shirt, his eyes lingering on each newly revealed expanse of smooth flesh. After tugging Jack's shirt free of his jeans, he paused to tease his thumb over each of Jack's nipples, earning a murmured moan of appreciation in response. He eased Jack's shirt off his shoulders and dropped it to the floor. Pausing to admire Jack's physique, he then trailed his hands up Jack's arms, along his broad shoulders and down the planes of his back. Ianto dropped to his knees and peeled off Jack's socks, jeans and finally his underwear, tossing the discarded clothing aside with an uncharacteristic lack of care.

This slow, reverential undressing and exploration of each other had become their ritual. Ianto loved the slow burn of anticipation as it gradually built up into feverish, desperate desire. It wasn't always like this... sometimes it was fast and frantic when the need for skin to skin contact was too great to be denied. Ianto enjoyed the thrill of that, but he liked when it was gentler and unhurried too. When he and Jack were together, it never felt like just sex... it always felt like something deeper and more profound. It transcended lust and physical need. From their awkward first morning waking up together, his world had shifted and realigned, propelling him onto a new path of self-discovery.

Jack was achingly hard. Smiling up at him, Ianto cupped Jack's balls in his hand, massaging them gently as he trailed his tongue with teasing slowness from the base of Jack's shaft up to the tip, eliciting a loud gasp from Jack. Ianto continued to kiss his way up Jack's abdomen, chest, and throat, finally claiming his mouth in a languid kiss, pressing his still fully clothed body up against Jack's naked form.

"You're wearing far too many clothes, Mr. Jones," Jack murmured as they finally broke apart.

"Perhaps you need to do something about that, sir," Ianto suggested wryly, relieved to hear the lighter, teasing tone return to Jack's voice.

Jack gave him a typically lascivious grin and he set to work divesting Ianto of his clothing. Taking his time, Jack lavished attention on Ianto's body with caresses and kisses. Ianto couldn't help but admire Jack's unwavering single-mindedness.

It wasn't long before Ianto was naked and moaning in pleasure as Jack's mouth latched onto first his left nipple and then his right, his hand stroking lightly over the length of Ianto's erection. Trailing his lips upwards and along the column of Ianto's throat, Jack brought their mouths together and they shared another slow, passionate kiss, the full lengths of their bodies pressing together.

Jack kissed a trail down Ianto's neck and along his shoulder, his hands roaming down Ianto's back, following the curve of his spine. Jack threw back the bed covers, and Ianto lowered himself onto his back, stretching out as he watched Jack retrieve the supplies from the bedside table.

"Okay?" Jack asked as he settled himself beside Ianto, wrapping his left arm protectively around Ianto's shoulders and pressing a kiss to his chest.

"I'm fine," Ianto acknowledged, meeting Jack's gaze and returning what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Jack nodded and passed him the tube of lubricant. Ianto carefully squeezed a liberal amount onto Jack's fingers and watched anxiously as Jack reached down between his legs. Ianto bent his knees and spread them further apart. He drew a sharp, shaky breath as Jack's slick fingers began stroking gently over the sensitive ring of muscle. He quivered slightly from the sudden, intimate contact.

"I'm okay," he whispered when Jack paused and looked at him worriedly.

Jack nodded again and his fingers resumed moving over the sensitive area. Ianto tensed as Jack breached him with a single, slick finger. He felt impossibly tight but he began to relax as Jack slowly prepared him. Not long ago he would have been panicking by this stage, but they'd done this before and he'd become accustomed to the sensation. It wasn't unpleasant and Jack was always slow, considerate, and gentle. Ianto had gradually found it easier to disassociate these new, very pleasurable experiences with Jack from his previous painful, traumatic experience. Drawing in a deep breath, he lifted his knees higher and spread his legs further to give Jack better access.

Jack paused, and resting his hand on Ianto's belly, he waited as Ianto squeezed more lubricant onto his fingers. He gave Ianto a gentle kiss. "I'm going to add a second finger now and then when you're ready, I'll add a third. If it's too much, just let me know."

"Okay," Ianto whispered, taking another deep breath and willing himself to remain relaxed.

As if sensing his unease, Jack's spare hand found his and he intertwined their fingers. Jack rested their joined hands on Ianto's chest, and Ianto closed his eyes as Jack continued preparing him. He gasped suddenly, jerking upwards as Jack's fingers moved deeper and shifted, finding his prostate. The light rubbing sensation over the sensitive bundle of nerves caused Ianto to moan with pleasure. Jack was gentle and meticulous as he worked, pausing frequently to kiss him, or reassure him with words or comforting caresses.

"I think you're ready," Jack said quietly after what seemed like a long while. Ianto had lost all sense of time. He could have glanced over at the alarm clock, but he didn't want reality to intrude on this critical moment. Jack looked up at him with concern in his eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I'm good," Ianto replied, forcing his voice not to waver. He wriggled his body slightly, adjusting to the sensation of being stretched open and ready. "It feels nice."

"That's good, Ianto... that's how it should feel," Jack said, kissing him soundly. He grabbed a pillow, and lifting Ianto slightly, he slipped it beneath his hips.

Ianto watched as the older man unwrapped and rolled on a condom. He obligingly squeezed some more lubricant onto Jack's hand and Jack slicked himself up. Gazing at Jack's hard and suddenly imposing size, Ianto felt a fresh wave of anxiety surge along his spine. With fierce determination he reminded himself that this was no different to when their roles were reversed. Jack clearly loved having Ianto inside him, so he had nothing to worry about. This was what he wanted.

Jack settled himself between Ianto's legs, resting his hands on Ianto's hips. "Ready?"

Ianto nodded. He studied Jack's handsome face and saw the anxiety mixed with desire in Jack's eyes. Just for a fleeting moment he imagined he saw something far deeper than affection. "I'm ready, Jack," he said in little more than whisper, reaching up and gripping Jack's biceps to steady himself.

Jack inched forward, pushing into him just a small amount, and then stopping. There was some discomfort and a slight burning sensation as Ianto felt his body adjust to accommodate Jack's size. Ianto pressed his eyes closed, waiting for the moment of unease to pass.

Shrouded in darkness, his mind suddenly transported him back to that awful place. It all came flooding back in a rush of terrible, vivid clarity. Hands gripped him roughly, fingers pushing relentlessly into him, bruising his flesh as a heavy weight pressed against his back, pushing him into a rough brick wall. Hot, searing pain surged through him, rendering him inert and silent with fear. He tried to scream but his throat refused to respond.

"Stay with me, Ianto. You're here with me. You're safe." Jack's worried voice broke into his thoughts. His eyes shot open again. Sweat prickled his forehead and his breathing was reduced to shuddering, frantic gasps.

Jack was leaning down and looking at him with concern. "Ianto! Are you okay?"

Ianto nodded after a moment and pulled Jack down into a desperate kiss, grounding himself in the present, reminding himself that he was exactly where he wanted to be. He was with Jack... he was with the man he loved and trusted. "I'm okay," he mumbled after they broke apart. "Just had a moment there," he said, his voice shaking. "I'm okay now."

Jack stroked his cheek gently and soothingly. "Want me to stop?"

"No, please don't," Ianto replied in a hurry, shaking his head. He drew in a deep breath and realised that the initial discomfort had passed, but he also discovered, to his horror, that he'd lost his erection. "I'm okay, Jack," he insisted. "Really. I want to keep going."

Jack looked at him uncertainly. Ianto could see the conflicting emotions in Jack's eyes. Jack leaned in and kissed him again. They continued kissing for several minutes until Ianto felt his waning arousal resurface.

Jack eased back and after Ianto nodded encouragingly, he slowly pushed back in, going a little further this time before stopping again. Ianto let out a low groan as he kept his eyes open and locked onto Jack's. "Am I hurting you?" Jack asked, still looking worried.

"No," Ianto answered truthfully.

Jack waited for a moment and then pushed in further. Jack was almost fully inside him. He took several deep breaths as he got used to the sensation of being filled so completely. It felt strange but he wasn't in any pain and the sensation wasn't unpleasant. He nodded to Jack again. Jack pushed forward the rest of the way causing Ianto to gasp with the increased intensity.

After waiting a moment, Jack pulled out and slowly pushed back in. Ianto immediately felt the slight change in angle. He shuddered as an intense spike of pleasure flowed through his body. He wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, trying to pull him in deeper.

Jack moved slowly, thrusting in and out with long, deep strokes. His hands trailed up Ianto's torso, settling on his shoulders. He leaned down and they kissed again. Ianto was lost in pleasure, writhing and moaning as Jack continued pushing into him.

"Jack... this feels so good," Ianto mumbled, his words slurring almost to the point of incoherency.

Jack made a murmured sound of agreement. He wrapped his hand around Ianto's erection, causing Ianto to cry out. Jack began stroking in counterpoint to his thrusts, and Ianto threw his head back as his body involuntarily arced upwards. Jack groaned loudly, his skin flushed and bathed in a fine sheen of shimmering sweat. Ianto thought that Jack had never looked more magnificent.

He ran his hands up Jack's chest and, grasping the back of Jack's neck, he pulled him down into another hungry kiss, relishing the feel of their sweat-dampened bodies pressing against one another. Jack's presence filled and surrounded him, suffusing him with exquisite pleasure. He was so close and the need for release was almost unbearable, and yet he wanted this intense new experience to last forever.

All too soon, Ianto climaxed, moaning as he throbbed in Jack's hand and spurted over their stomachs. With one more deep thrust, he felt Jack achieve his release. He watched in awe and admiration as Jack shuddered through his orgasm, murmuring Ianto's name repeatedly. The feeling of Jack coming while buried deep inside him was intense and more erotic than Ianto had ever expected.

Jack slipped out of him, and after disposing of the condom, he collapsed down onto the bed and pulled Ianto into his arms, kissing him softly. Ianto was trembling as he wrapped himself around Jack, overwhelmed with a multitude of conflicting emotions. He felt a deep sense of relief for having finally overcome his fears. He knew he'd probably experience some anxiety in the future, but this was the turning point he'd so badly wanted.

"How do you feel?" Jack murmured once their breathing had slowed and almost returned to normal. He trailed his fingers through Ianto's hair and looked at him searchingly. "Was that okay?"

"I'm good... and that was amazing. I just..." Ianto breathed out a sigh. "I just wish I hadn't waited so long... that I hadn't made you wait too."

"You needed to be ready, and I never minded." Jack kissed his lips. "I'm proud of you, Ianto. It takes a lot of courage to overcome your fears. You never cease to amaze me."

Ianto pulled away a little so he could look into Jack's eyes. He smiled at Jack gratefully, feeling an almost overwhelming rush of affection. "That means a lot, Jack. Thank you."

He wanted to tell Jack how he truly felt, but his emotions were in disarray, and the timing didn't seem right. He wasn't feeling brave enough to take that step, and he wasn't sure if Jack would reciprocate his feelings. Jack obviously cared about him and enjoyed their time together, but Ianto was pragmatic enough to understand that feelings of affection, even deep, passionate affection didn't necessarily translate into love.

But Jack wanted them to try living together, which wasn't a step that was usually taken lightly. Jack could be impulsive at times, but when it came to the things that really mattered, he seemed to be more cautious. He wouldn't have made the suggestion if he didn't feel something deeper than affection, and it implied that he was hoping for a long-term future together. Ianto needed time alone to think things through, but that could wait... all the problems in his life could wait. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the rest of their night together.

Jack smiled and they kissed again. The kiss was slow and tender, and it felt full of promise. Jack's hand drifted down between Ianto's legs, and with a mischievous grin he gave Ianto a playful grope before moving up to his stomach, tracing his fingers over the sticky flesh. "As soon as we've recovered, are we going again? My turn this time?"

"Absolutely," Ianto replied with a laugh. "Wouldn't want you feeling like you've missed out." He gave Jack a cheeky grin, hoping to maintain the light mood. "Besides, you haven't even worn me out yet."

Jack growled good-naturedly and tightened their embrace. Ianto let out a contented sigh and tucked his head into the crook of Jack's neck, feeling warm and relaxed as he breathed in Jack's scent.

Soft lips pressed a kiss against his temple and Jack's voice whispered close to his ear. "Happy Birthday, Ianto."


	18. Chapter 18

Enjoy the new chapter! Please review and let me know what you think.

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><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

Ianto stood at Jack's door, desperately trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He wondered why he kept putting himself through this. It seemed that every time he spoke to his sister, it inevitably ended in the same, all too familiar argument. He'd enjoyed seeing his nephew again, and he'd even managed to get along fairly well with his sister's husband. Johnny was a bit rough around the edges, and he could be embarrassingly crass at times, but the fellow Welshman had always been friendly towards him.

The visit had seemed to be going surprisingly well, but then Rhiannon had started on about Ianto's shop again. The argument had quickly degenerated into a shouting match, and Ianto had ended up bolting from the house. In his haste to get away, he'd even left behind the birthday presents they'd given him.

Somehow he'd managed to keep his emotions in check for the drive to Jack's flat, but now that he'd arrived, they were beginning to overwhelm him. His one rational thought was that he needed Jack.

The door swung open, and Jack looked at him with a mixture of surprise and concern. He pulled him inside and closed the door. "Ianto, what's wrong? I thought you'd still be visiting your sister."

"I was..." Ianto began, stopping to roughly wipe away the tear trailing down his cheek. Jack pulled him into an embrace and Ianto slumped gratefully into Jack's arms, clinging to him unashamedly. "We had another fight about the shop. I just... I had to leave. Sorry, I should have called first..."

"Hey, it's okay," Jack said gently. "Come on... come and sit down. Looks like you could use a drink."

After tossing back his second glass of scotch, Ianto began to feel calmer, his anger and frustration receding enough for him to regret his emotional outburst. Putting the glass down, he sniffed and rubbed at the tears still burning in his eyes. Shuffling closer to Jack, he rested his head on the older man's shoulder and Jack wrapped his arms around him.

"Want to talk about it?" Jack asked, rubbing Ianto's upper arm in a soothing gesture.

"Not really," Ianto replied with a weary sigh. "It's the same old argument. She just won't let it go. I shouldn't have gone there. Each time I think it's going to be different, but it never is. She's never even tried to understand. The only good thing was getting to see David again."

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly. "It's usually family who know how to really push our buttons. Is there anything I can do?"

"Well, this is nice," Ianto murmured, pressing himself closer to Jack and feeling Jack's arms tighten their embrace.

Jack pressed a kiss to his forehead. "We can stay like this for as long as you want."

Ianto allowed his thoughts to drift as he concentrated on the sense of safety and comfort of being with Jack. Eventually, he drew back a little so he could gaze into Jack's eyes. Seeing the compassion and affection radiating from the captivating blue depths, he made a decision.

"Jack, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday." Ianto paused and took a deep breath. "About me moving in with you. Do you still want that?"

Jack nodded earnestly, his expression becoming hopeful. "More than anything. Do you think you might want to?"

Ianto thought about how much he now disliked the nights he spent alone in his shabby little flat. He hated trying to go to sleep on his own in his small, lonely bed, all the while craving Jack's presence and warmth. He wondered if Jack felt the same way. The one thing Ianto knew with absolute certainty was that he didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Yes." Ianto smiled. "I want to, Jack. I want to move in with you."

###

Jack stood in the middle of the stark, empty space, and surveyed the shell that was no longer his home. He'd been excited about finally moving into his new house, of having somewhere for the first time in his life that was truly his own. However, with the logistics of the move, spending time with Ianto, and the demands of his job, he hadn't really stopped to consider how he'd feel about leaving his flat behind. All of his possessions had been removed, and there was just one final cardboard box waiting beside the front door, containing the last of the items from the kitchen and bathroom. Gazing around the now anonymous space, the full impact of leaving finally caught up with him, and he wondered if he wasn't as ready to move on as he'd thought.

He'd created many memories within the confines of these austere walls. Not all of them were good, and as his mind wandered back over the last three and a half years, he recognised that loneliness had been a constant for a great deal of that time. But the last few months had been so different, and since meeting Ianto, he'd been genuinely happy. They'd created memories here that he'd hold onto and treasure for the rest of his life. The desire to leave just didn't seem as strong as it had once been.

"Ready to go?" Ianto asked quietly, coming to stand at his side, having completed a final check to make sure they hadn't left anything behind.

Jack looped an arm around Ianto's waist, pulling him closer and drawing comfort from the younger man's presence. Ianto had been staying with him for the last two weeks, having given up his flat at the end of August. They'd decided that it didn't make sense for Ianto to waste money on another month of rent. Jack had helped Ianto to temporarily move his furniture into the garage at the back of Jack's house while the interior was undergoing final painting, along with the installation of the carpet and timber flooring. Ianto's clothes and personal items had taken up temporary residence in Jack's flat, divided between the bedroom and the smaller room he used as his study. It had been a test run to see if they could coexist on a full-time basis, and overall, it had gone fairly smoothly.

Jack had loaned Ianto a little over two thousand pounds to help cover his car insurance and related expenses. Ianto hadn't been happy about that, protesting at length even though Jack knew that Ianto didn't really have any other options. The only other choice had been for Ianto to give up his car, and Jack had refused to let that happen, knowing that Ianto's little Audi held great sentimental value. Not only was it his first car, but it was the car that his late father had helped him to choose and pay for.

He'd eventually worn the stubborn Welshman down, and they'd agreed on a compromise of sorts. Ianto was in the process of making Jack another suit as part payment, and he'd insisted that he would repay the balance of the loan as soon as he could manage it. Jack didn't care about the money, he just wanted to look after Ianto and make life a bit easier for him. But he'd tried not to argue too much out of consideration for the younger man's pride. Ianto's financial issues and struggling business was a particularly delicate and sensitive subject, and one they tended to avoid talking about.

Ianto had been a godsend, his fastidious nature and attention to detail making the preparations for the move infinitely smoother than if Jack had been tackling it on his own. Everything had been organised, sorted, and neatly packed into boxes, with each box labeled accordingly. It had all occurred with almost military precision, and Jack had been on the receiving end of a number of baleful glares when his more casual approach to packing had threatened to compromise Ianto's orderly system. Fearing that he might be cut off from either sex or coffee, or heaven forbid both, Jack had allowed Ianto to take charge, following along meekly in the younger man's stead.

With each passing day, Jack's felt his love for Ianto deepen, and despite their relatively brief time together, Jack was finding it increasingly difficult to imagine his life without Ianto at his side.

It was Saturday, and Ianto had taken the morning off work. The removal van had just departed, taking the bulk of their belongings to the new house, and they'd finished loading up both of their cars with some of their more prized possessions, including their beloved suits.

"I'm going to miss this place," Jack murmured, breathing out a sigh. "I didn't realise how much until now." He looked at Ianto and gave him a wistful smile. "We've had some good times here, you and me. I didn't have many good memories here before, but that all changed when you came along."

"I'm going to miss it too. I've liked it here." Ianto's voice carried a trace of sadness. "But we'll make new memories together at your house."

"Our house," Jack admonished. "It's going to be your home too, Ianto."

"Right," Ianto hastily agreed, but Jack could hear the lack of conviction in his voice. He suspected that he was going to have a hard time convincing Ianto that he wasn't merely a lodger.

"Do you miss your flat?" Jack asked curiously, deciding to avoid another potential minefield for the moment.

Ianto shrugged slightly. "Not really. Maybe a little, sometimes. It wasn't that I was fond of it, but it was my home for a while. I suppose I'd gotten used to it. Not many good memories there though." He smiled tightly. "Onwards and upwards, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed, giving Ianto's waist a gentle squeeze before releasing him. They made their way to the front door. "Onwards and upwards."

###

A couple of hours later, Jack sipped from his cup of coffee as he looked around in dismay at the chaos of furniture and cardboard boxes currently filling his new living room. He was thankful that Ianto had prepared a thermos of coffee before they'd finished packing up the kitchen back at the flat. He needed it to fortify his resolve. The removal van had just left, and after unloading their cars, they'd both collapsed onto the sofa. Thankfully, that was one item which didn't require any unpacking or further attention.

"Now the fun begins," Jack muttered. "And I thought packing everything up was bad enough."

"Want me to stay and help?" Ianto asked, sipping at his own coffee. "I don't have to go in to the shop."

Jack shook his head. "No, you go ahead. You've got customers coming in. I'll manage."

"Don't worry, Jack. It's not that bad." Ianto finished his coffee and put the empty cup down on the table. "If you like, just concentrate on the kitchen this afternoon. I'll help with the bedroom when I get back, and we've got all day tomorrow to get the rest sorted."

Thoughts of the fun they'd have christening their new bedroom helped to dispel some of Jack's earlier melancholy. He was also looking forward to setting up the new kitchen. He'd purchased a state-of-the-art coffee machine the week before and it was still sitting in its box, waiting for a trial run. Jack had ostensibly bought it as a treat for Ianto, but he couldn't deny that it was a gift as much for himself as for his young companion. He knew that Ianto was itching to try it out.

Putting his own cup down, he smiled at Ianto. "Come here," he said, pulling him closer and capturing his mouth in a slow, coffee-flavoured kiss.

He slipped his hands beneath Ianto's t-shirt, seeking out the warm, bare flesh of his belly. Ianto shifted so he was sitting in Jack's lap, pressing up against Jack's chest as their kiss continued unabated.

As soon as they'd woken up that morning, Ianto had hauled Jack unceremoniously out of bed and pushed him towards the shower. Ianto, meanwhile, had busied himself in the kitchen. Deprived of his usual enjoyable start to the day, Jack had been left standing forlornly in the shower, hard and unsatisfied. Deciding that he was owed recompense, he reached down and began unfastening Ianto's jeans.

"Not now, Jack," Ianto protested, breaking their kiss and battering his hand away. "You've got unpacking to do. And I need to change and go to work."

"Ianto..." Jack complained petulantly, unleashing his best pout, even though Ianto had proven time and again to be frustratingly resistant to its effects. "Don't be a spoilsport."

Ianto rolled his eyes and stood up, straightening and refastening his clothes. He deftly avoided Jack's grasping hands, much to Jack's consternation. "I'll make it up to you tonight, okay?"

"Promise?" Jack asked, standing up and managing to steal another kiss before Ianto reached the doorway to the hall.

Ianto smiled. "Yes, Jack. I promise."

Jack followed Ianto upstairs and sat on the edge of the bare mattress as he watched the younger man shed his jeans and t-shirt, and change into his suit. The brand new plush carpet felt luxurious against his sock-clad feet, and it blended unobtrusively with the slightly darker paint colour they'd chosen for the bedrooms to give them a warmer, cozy, ambiance.

Jack was thrilled with the colours and finishes they'd ended up selecting, and Ianto had even been impressed with the contemporary yet understated kitchen that Jack had chosen before he and Ianto had met. He'd complimented Jack on his choice of black, marble worktops and elegant, off-white, gloss cabinetry. Pleased with Ianto's praise, Jack decided that the younger man didn't need to know that he'd had help from a nice lady at the kitchen shop who, like Ianto, had managed to reign in his more meretricious ideas.

"I thought I might go over to Ikea later and look for a bigger sofa," Jack said idly as he watched Ianto knot his tie with his usual skilled precision. "And maybe a couple of rugs and some cushions. After I've done some of the unpacking, that is," he hastened to add.

"You could wait until tomorrow?" Ianto suggested, buttoning up and then smoothing down his waistcoat. "I could come with you then."

Jack pretended to be outraged. "Don't you trust my ability to choose furniture on my own, Mr. Jones?"

Ianto gave him a knowing glance. "I think you already know the answer to that question, Jack."

Jack laughed at Ianto's dry retort. "You wouldn't mind?"

Ianto reached for his jacket. Jack jumped to his feet and helped to ease it onto Ianto's shoulders, running his hands along the soft fabric to smooth it down. "Of course not," Ianto replied, smiling. "As long as you behave yourself while we're in public."

"I'm sure I can manage that as long as I've been given sufficient incentive," Jack teased with a suggestive grin. "Okay, well, I'll just go to the supermarket instead and pick up some essentials. And I'll make us something nice for dinner."

Ianto turned to face him, tugging once more on his waistcoat. "Are you sure? I could pick up some takeaway?"

Jack shook his head. "I want to have a nice home-cooked meal... celebrate our first night here. Besides, it will give me a chance to try out the kitchen."

"That sounds lovely. I'll look forward to it." Ianto kneeled down to put on his shoes. "Um... I need to go and see Mrs. Thomas tomorrow night and collect Moses. Are you sure you don't mind? He's not much trouble, and I'll pay for all his food and things." He glanced up at Jack, looking uncertain. "It's just that... well, I think she'll feel better knowing that he's going to be well looked after."

Jack gave Ianto's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "It's fine, Ianto. I like the little guy. He and I are best buddies. And it's great that you want to take care of him."

Ianto's elderly former neighbour had decided to move in with her sister, who unfortunately was allergic to cats. She'd asked Ianto if he'd be interested in becoming Moses' new owner. Ianto had cautiously broached the subject with Jack, but had seemed wary, probably thinking that it was too much of an imposition, or worrying about the cost of keeping him. Jack hadn't hesitated to agree. Moses was getting on in years, and he knew that Ianto was very fond of him. Truth be told, Jack had grown quite fond of the indolent feline too.

"Thanks, Jack." Ianto stood up and gave him a grateful smile followed by a quick kiss. "Will you sit down again for a minute? There's something I want to give you."

"Oh, really?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows but doing as he'd been told, he sat back down on the bed. "I'm liking the sound of that."

Ianto gave him a look of tolerant exasperation as he moved over to one of the packing boxes and removed a flat, white, rectangular box that Jack hadn't seen before. Ianto sat down beside Jack and tentatively passed the box to him. "It's just... it's not much, but it's just to say thanks."

"Ianto, you didn't have to..." Jack began, looking down at the box curiously.

"I wanted to," Ianto insisted. "Open it and see what you think."

"Okay." Jack lifted off the lid of the box, and putting it aside, he pulled back the soft tissue paper inside. Gasping slightly, he lifted out a beautifully tailored waistcoat, made out of the same fabric as the original suit Ianto had created for him. "Ianto, it's stunning. Wow. I don't know what to say... thank you."

"I know you don't normally wear a waistcoat," Ianto explained. "But I thought it would look good on you. And I had some fabric left over from your suit, so it seemed a shame to let it go to waste."

"I love it," Jack enthused, holding up the garment and looking at it in admiration. The craftsmanship was exquisite, as he'd expected. "I can't wait to try it on with the suit."

"Glad you like it," Ianto said, giving him a small, bashful smile.

Jack carefully placed the waistcoat back in the box and putting the box down on the bed, he turned back to Ianto and kissed him thoroughly. "I love it," he repeated sincerely.

Ianto stood up with obvious reluctance. "Right, I'd better be off then. I'll see you later."

Jack nodded and smiled as he watched Ianto retreat from the room. Hearing the front door close a few moments later, he looked back down at his gift and trailed his fingers over the sumptuous material, deeply touched by Ianto's thoughtful gesture. He eased the lid back into place, and rising wearily to his feet, he put the box on the shelf at the top of the wardrobe to keep it safe until everything was organised.

Breathing out a deep sigh, Jack padded back downstairs. He had some serious unpacking to do.


	19. Chapter 19

Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, and please keep reviewing :-). I'd like to thank the lovely Furious Dee for offering some valuable advice and feedback on improving it. Hopefully the additions and changes I've made have helped.

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><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

"Hey, guys. Come in," Jack said with a broad smile as he ushered John, Owen, and his fiance, Toshiko, into the hallway and through to the living area.

"Here you go, mate." Owen passed Jack a gift bag containing a bottle of what looked like a very nice and expensive French champagne. "I know you said no housewarming presents, but we couldn't come along empty handed, so we chipped in and got this. Just a little something for you and Ianto to enjoy sometime."

"You really shouldn't have," Jack admonished lightly. "But this is fantastic. Thanks." He waved his arm around expansively. "So, what do you think?"

"Oh, the house looks beautiful, Jack," Toshiko exclaimed appreciatively, looking around with interest as the other two men voiced their agreement.

"Thanks. Although, I can't take much of the credit," Jack said with a laugh.

They'd taken delivery of their new L-shaped sofa two days earlier. As promised, Ianto had accompanied Jack to Ikea, and helped him to pick out a style and colour of sofa that suited the living room. It was quite a bit larger than Jack's old sofa, giving them both plenty of space to sprawl out on. Jack had thoroughly enjoyed the shopping trip. He loved doing everyday things with Ianto, and while they joked about him being on his best behaviour, he'd never intentionally do anything to embarrass the younger man in public. Regardless, Ianto had amply rewarded him that evening.

The new dark grey sofa was understated and elegant, and after a vigorous and highly enjoyable test run, Jack had declared the purchase a resounding success. Combined with the coordinating accessories Ianto had helped him choose, along with his existing furniture, Jack thought the end result looked amazing. His old, smaller sofa was still in good condition, so they'd moved it to the dining area adjacent to the kitchen rather than get rid of it. With all the unpacking finally done, the house was beginning to feel more like a home. Jack hoped they'd both be very happy there.

"It probably would have ended up a disaster if I didn't have Ianto to keep me on the straight and narrow," Jack added as he moved towards the kitchen. "Make yourselves comfortable. I'll just get some drinks and find Ianto. Back in a minute."

The doorbell rang again, and Jack assumed the rest of their guests had arrived. "John, would you mind getting that?" he called out.

"Sure, Jack," John replied, moving towards the front door again.

It was a week since they'd moved in, and with his colleagues eager to see the newly renovated house, Jack had suggested an informal gathering on Friday night as an alternative to their usual drinks night at the pub. He knew Ianto was a bit nervous about meeting the rest of his friends, and he'd thought this would be a less stressful way to do it, rather than a more formal housewarming party.

In addition to the three people already present, there was Adam, a junior editor with Torchwood, and his partner, Andy, a constable with the South Wales Police. They were joined by fellow Scotsperson, Amy, who worked with Owen in sales, and her beleaguered husband, Rory, a nurse at St. David's Hospital.

There was also Diane and Alex, who both worked in sales as well, Jenny, another editor, and Lucy, who managed their book signings and other publicity events. Completing the group were Beth and Mike who looked after Torchwood's accounts and administration.

Toshiko, who was an information technology consultant, was called in when needed to look after Torchwood's computer network, which was how she and Owen had met.

Ianto had left work early, and after some frenzied, last minute cleaning to ensure the house was immaculate from top to bottom, he'd been bustling away in the kitchen, preparing finger food for the occasion. Jack had left Ianto to his own devices for the most part, not wanting to get in his way, and knowing the younger man wanted to make a good impression. Jack understood Ianto's anxiety, and it was the first time they'd be with a group of people as an actual couple. He'd tried his best to reassure the younger man that he had nothing to worry about.

Jack reached the kitchen doorway and paused for a moment to gaze admiringly at Ianto. The Welshman was wearing the jeans and shirt Jack had bought him for his birthday, and he'd accompanied the outfit with a very attractive black waistcoat.

"Ready to face the teeming hordes?" he asked as he moved to stand behind Ianto, and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, kissing him on the back of the neck.

"I suppose," Ianto answered, leaning back against Jack with a sigh. "Is this all right?" he asked, gesturing at the plates of food.

"It's perfect," Jack assured him, looking at the plethora of crisps, crackers, dips, little sausage rolls, miniature sandwiches on sticks, and tiny spring rolls. "You've outdone yourself. And by the way, you look positively irresistible. I love this outfit on you."

"Thanks, Jack," Ianto muttered distractedly as he fussed with the contents of one of the plates.

Jack eased Ianto's hand away and turned him around so they were facing each other. He gave him an encouraging smile. "Don't worry. You already know John and Owen, and the others are going to love you. After what I've told them about you, they already think you're the best thing since sliced bread. Just try to relax and enjoy yourself, okay?"

Ianto sighed again and nodded. "Okay, I'll try."

Jack pressed a soft kiss to Ianto's forehead. "Good."

"Where's Mo got to?" he asked, suddenly realising he hadn't seen the feline for a while. Like both of them, Moses was having to adjust to his new home, but Jack was thankful that the third member of their household seemed to be settling in well.

"Oh, I gave him his dinner, and put him upstairs," Ianto replied. "Last time I checked, he was napping in the bedroom. He'll be fine."

"Come on, then." Jack smiled again. "You grab some drinks... most of the girls will want wine and everyone else will probably start with a beer. I'll bring in some of the food."

Jack led the way back to the others and after putting the food down on the coffee table, he helped Ianto to distribute the drinks, making introductions as they went. They were a great group of people, and Jack was pleased to see Ianto receive praise on the house's décor along with the selection of tasty food. Ianto also received a number of compliments on Jack's famous suit, along with Owen's, since they all knew Ianto was responsible for making them.

Jack smiled as he watched Ianto chatting with Owen, John, and Andy at the other end of the room. He took a mouthful of his beer as he turned back to Tosh.

"He's wonderful, Jack," Tosh said, smiling warmly up at him after looking over at Ianto. "Even Owen likes him, and he doesn't like anyone. Well, except for you and me, of course," she added with a laugh.

Jack chuckled along with her. Owen had been surprisingly impressed with his suit, and uncharacteristically complimentary about Ianto in general. "I know it's a bit soon to be thinking too far ahead, but he's the one, Tosh. I'm sure of it. I just hope he feels the same way." He paused and took another mouthful of his drink as he tried to push aside his insecurities. "I'm worried that we might be rushing things with living together so soon, though. It was my idea, and I love having him here, but... well, what if he's not ready?"

Tosh nodded and looked sympathetic. "I'm not sure if it's ever easy to start with. When Owen first moved in with me, he almost drove me crazy. I was ready to kick him out a few times. It takes time to get used to each other... to learn each other's moods and idiosyncrasies. But each time I had any doubts, I'd think about how lonely I'd be without him."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. In hindsight, he'd perhaps been a little naïve. Both he and Ianto were used to living alone and having their own space. Although they'd spent so much of their time together before Ianto had given up his flat, living together full-time was proving to be a rather different proposition. They'd had some moments over the last few weeks where they'd gotten a little short with each other, which was something that had never happened before, and Ianto had been moody and withdrawn from time to time. Jack hadn't really seen that side of him before.

He wasn't sure if he was imagining things, but he thought Ianto's mood had deteriorated over the last few days. Ianto didn't seem particularly happy, he'd been a bit irritable, and quieter than usual. Ianto's business was an ongoing issue, but Jack had hoped that with the financial pressure alleviated for the time being, Ianto wouldn't feel that the situation was quite so desperate.

He also hadn't realised that Ianto was so obsessive about cleaning and tidying. While Jack found most of Ianto's quirks adorable and delightfully endearing, this particular one was beginning to try his patience. He hadn't said anything to Ianto about it though. Jack was self-aware enough to know there were undoubtedly things about him that annoyed Ianto too, so he was trying to be tolerant.

He didn't for a moment regret asking Ianto to move in with him, but it was a big adjustment for both of them. Tosh's words provided a measure of reassurance, and he supposed it was just a process they had to go through as they settled into this new stage of their lives together.

"Can I ask you something?" Jack asked tentatively, waiting for Tosh to nod before continuing. "How long did it take you to know? With Owen?"

Tosh swept a lock of dark, glossy hair behind her ear, and looked thoughtful for a moment. "It probably sounds fanciful, but I think I knew almost straight away." She shrugged self-deprecatingly. "He seemed so lost and unhappy, and I wanted to take care of him... I wanted to help him to find some joy in his life. I just knew he was the man I wanted to be with." She chuckled slightly. "I suppose I've always liked a challenge and Owen is certainly that."

Jack could wholeheartedly relate to Tosh's words. He thought about his own deep desire to take care of Ianto, and to bring happiness into his life. "Owen's a lucky man, Tosh. He's definitely mellowed since the two of you got together."

Tosh laughed. "Just don't tell him that."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Jack assured her, chuckling at the thought of Owen's reaction if it was suggested that he'd been domesticated.

Tosh looked back over at the others, and she nodded to Owen who was beckoning for her to join him. She looked back at Jack. "Jack, it's obvious you and Ianto are good for each other. But moving in together is a big step for anyone, and for someone as young as Ianto, it's probably especially challenging." She patted his arm reassuringly and smiled. "When things are difficult, just try to be patient with him. Lord knows, I need the patience of a saint with Owen most of the time."

Giving him a another smile, the petite Japanese woman moved off to join her fiance. Jack remained standing still for a long moment, thinking about her words as he gazed around at his friends.

Rory was trapped amidst the combined forces of Amy, Diane, Lucy, and Beth. Feeling a pang of sympathy for the besieged Englishman, Jack moved to rescue him, planning to disguise the maneuver with the offer of another round of drinks.

###

Ianto glanced over to where Jack was extricating a relieved looking Rory from the four chattering women. Their eyes met, and Jack gave him a wide smile. Ianto smiled back before returning his attention to Owen, who had just been joined by Tosh.

"So, Ianto... Jack was telling me you're a James Bond fan?" Tosh asked, smiling up at him.

"That's right," Ianto replied, smiling back self-consciously. "The films and the books."

"Oh, God, no." Owen moaned, making a face. "Don't get her started, mate. We'll be here all night talking about every flipping car and gadget Bond ever used."

"Owen!" Tosh said, glaring at him. "Just because you're not interested, doesn't mean other people aren't. Besides, it will be nice to have someone to talk to who appreciates Bond as much as I do."

Owen shrugged. "I just don't see what all the fuss is about."

Ianto couldn't help being amused, even though he was appalled by Owen's dismissal of his beloved fictional secret agent. He liked Owen and his forthright nature. Owen was brusque and he said what he thought, and he had a dry sense of humour, much like Ianto's. Despite Owen's cynical and acerbic exterior, he seemed like a good bloke, and Jack obviously thought highly of him. Ianto had immediately liked Toshiko too. She had a gentle, quiet nature, and was a bit shy, much like himself. She and Owen seemed to be an unlikely pair, but with the way he'd seen them looking at each other, it was obvious they were very happy together.

He'd been anxious about meeting Jack's friends. Since being introduced to them at the start of the evening, he'd felt like he was under scrutiny as they sized him up, perhaps trying to decide if he was worthy of Jack, who they all clearly thought the world of. They seemed like a genuinely nice group of people, but he was embarrassed by all the compliments he'd received. He didn't like feeling so conspicuous. He preferred to blend into the crowd and remain anonymous. With the exception of John and Owen, he suspected they were all as interested in taking their measure of him as they were in seeing Jack's new home. He was trying his best to be sociable, but he felt like an outsider, and he was also the youngest person in the room by at least several years. He wondered what they all really thought about him.

Ianto had never felt particularly comfortable around groups of people, preferring one-on-one interactions instead. Being surrounded by a group of strangers was overwhelming and awkward. He wanted to make an effort though. This was Jack's life, and he was a part of it now. He'd made his choice.

But as he looked around the room, surrounded by Jack's friends and possessions, he was reminded that none of this was his. His few meager possessions were hidden away in the spare bedroom upstairs, and he was effectively penniless, with only a failing business and an outdated set of skills to call his own. A small, irrational, reprehensible part of him resented what Jack had, even though he knew Jack had worked hard to achieve his success.

Jack was kindhearted and generous, openly sharing his life with him, however, Ianto couldn't help thinking that this wasn't how it was meant to be. He and Jack should have been doing this as equal partners, not with such a vast degree of inequality between them, with him now dependent on Jack for his day-to-day survival. He wasn't sure how to make peace with that. He thought he'd made so much progress in feeling secure about his relationship with Jack, but it felt like all that progress was unravelling with each passing day.

Jack arrived at his side at that moment, resting his hand on Ianto's shoulder and giving a reassuring squeeze. Ianto smiled at him, hoping it didn't seem too forced.

"If you're all talking about me," Jack said to the three of them. "I hope it's complimentary."

Owen grinned slyly. "We were just asking Ianto how he puts up with you."

"Hey!" Jack said, his mouth looking suspiciously in danger of shifting into a pout. "I'll have you know, I'm very easy to live with."

Owen smirked at Jack, and Tosh gave Owen a look of fond exasperation. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Actually, Jack, we were talking about Bond," Ianto explained, taking pity on him.

"Oh, God, don't get him started, guys," Jack said, moaning dramatically. "I'm sure Ianto knows every one of the movies word for word. He can probably recite all the books too."

Ianto narrowed his eyes at Jack, but the older man just laughed, grinning at him affectionately. Owen joined in laughing too. Tosh looked disapproving for a moment, but then broke into laughter also, leaving Ianto no choice but to chuckle along with them.

"I'm just going to get some more drinks," Jack announced after they'd recovered. "Anyone want a refill?"

Tosh politely declined while Owen asked for another beer.

"I can get them," Ianto said, beginning to turn around.

"No, that's okay, Ianto. You stay here and entertain Tosh and Owen," Jack said, smiling at them before turning away and heading for the kitchen.

###

It was a while later when Jack was standing off to one side, lost in his thoughts again. He noticed John making his way towards him. Ianto was engaged in a discussion with Tosh, while Owen had obviously given up on them and moved off to talk to Andy and Rory. He was pleased that Ianto and Tosh were getting along. Tosh was a movie buff too, and Jack thought they'd have plenty in common to talk about.

He hoped Ianto might start to join them sometimes on their regular Friday night gatherings now that he'd met them all. The others sometimes brought their partners along, and while Jack didn't want to put Ianto into any situation he was uncomfortable with, he thought the social contact might be good for him. A little selfishly, he also liked the idea of having Ianto with him at the company's social events. In the past, he'd always been on his own, while most of the others were in relationships, and therefore had their partners to bring along.

He'd noticed that Ianto had been talking to Adam and Andy at one point, and he wondered if meeting another same-sex couple might help him to feel more relaxed about their own relationship. Adam was five years younger than Andy, so Jack thought that might help too.

"He reminds me a lot of his father," John said quietly as he stood beside Jack. "He's a remarkable young man, Jack. It's obvious how much you adore him."

"I do," Jack agreed, smiling to himself. He looked at John curiously. "I've never asked you before... what was his father like?"

"Hmm." John looked thoughtful. "I didn't know him that well, but Dafydd Jones was a good man... quiet and unassuming, compassionate... proud. He was astute, and he had exacting standards, but I can't remember him having a bad word to say about anyone."

"Just like Ianto," Jack mused.

"Yes," John agreed. "He thought the world of Ianto. As much as he loved his daughter, I remember he told me once that it had always been his dream to have a son."

"I worry about him," Jack said, finding himself voicing his concerns for the second time that evening. "He still misses his dad terribly. I've been there, so I understand how he feels, but he seems to be having so much trouble letting go. I don't know what to do to help him."

"I don't think there's anything you can do," John said, a mixture of sympathy and sadness in his eyes. "Except be there for him. As trite as it sounds, it will get better with time."

Jack nodded, knowing the truth of John's words from his own painful past. "I hope so. For both our sakes."


	20. Chapter 20

Angst ahead! Enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think. Special thanks to Furious Dee for generously providing encouragement and feedback.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<strong>

Ianto disconnected the call and stared down at the handset clasped tightly in his hand. Not shifting from his chair in the work area at the back of his shop, he took a deep breath and tried to focus his tangled thoughts.

He hadn't spoken to Alun Roberts since the day of his father's funeral over a year and a half ago. Alun had been Dafydd Jones closest friend. They'd grown up together in Newport, and they'd both learned the art of fine tailoring from Ianto's grandfather. However, unlike Ianto's father, Alun had been restless and ambitious, and determined to make a name for himself. He'd left Wales behind and moved to London well before Ianto had even been born. Due to a healthy dose of good fortune, combined with skill and business acumen, Alun had eventually become the proprietor of a very successful tailoring shop on Savile Row.

Ianto didn't know Alun particularly well, but he and Dafydd had remained friends despite the different paths their lives had taken. On the rare occasions when Alun returned to Wales for a visit, he'd always stop in and see Dafydd, and they'd share a drink and reminisce. Despite Alun's ambition and hunger for success, Ianto had retained the impression that he was a decent and kindhearted man.

It had taken Ianto all week to muster the courage to make the call. He'd been thinking that if he could find a willing buyer, he might be able to sell the bulk of his stock of fabric and other materials to raise some much needed money. Ianto had hoped Alun himself would be interested, but that if he wasn't, he might know of someone else who would be willing to help him out.

Now that he'd made the call, Ianto almost wished he hadn't. Alun had said he'd be happy to purchase Ianto's surplus stock as long as the price was fair, but what Ianto hadn't expected was that Alun would offer him a job. He was shocked to realise he hadn't made any attempt to turn down the surprising proposition. He'd been too startled, and had only managed to tell Alun that he'd have to think about it. The offer was generous, and it would undoubtedly solve his financial problems. But the thought was fleeting, and with it came a sharp stab of guilt and self-recrimination.

Two weeks had passed since the housewarming with Jack's colleagues and friends. Since his birthday, Ianto had been caught up in the distractions of moving out of his flat, moving into Jack's flat, and then helping Jack to move into his new house. Almost every moment he wasn't at work, he'd been with Jack. Despite the lingering shadow of sadness from his birthday, his anger with his sister, and the ongoing anxiety over the business and his finances, it had been a mostly happy time for him. He'd got caught up in the excitement of moving into Jack's house, leaving his shabby little flat behind, and simply enjoying the time with Jack.

But in the days following the move, those distractions were no longer present, and he'd been forced to face the reality of his situation once more. He was attempting to adjust to his altered circumstances, but he knew he wasn't coping particularly well, and he was slipping back into his bad habits of the past. The familiar blanket of despair was descending over him again, and he didn't seem to be able to do anything to stop it.

He was living under Jack's roof, eating Jack's food, and using Jack's electricity, gas, and water. The only reason he still had his car to drive around in was because of Jack's generosity. He felt like he was losing himself, and almost overnight, without realising until it was too late, he'd become totally dependent on Jack. He remained grateful to Jack for his ongoing support and kindness, but the sudden loss of his independence was making him anxious and unsettled.

Ianto loved Jack desperately. He'd never been in love before, and his only basis for comparison was a couple of passing teenage crushes with girls he'd known at school. He'd lost his virginity to one of them in a hurried hormone-fuelled encounter after school one afternoon, but it had never led to anything more, and he'd been far too confused about his sexuality to feel comfortable dating anyone. His feelings for Jack were completely different to what he'd ever felt before, and far more intense. He couldn't imagine feeling the same way about any other person, although he was pragmatic enough to know such an idealistic view might be the result of youthful naïvity.

His thoughts drifted back to their first evening at Jack's new house, and he smiled at the memory. As promised, Jack had cooked them a delicious meal, and accompanied it with a nice bottle of wine. Afterwards, they'd spent hours in the throes of passion, losing themselves in each others bodies. He reveled in those memories, and just like the day of his birthday, he'd never felt more safe or cherished.

Since making progress in overcoming his intimacy issues, he and Jack could give and take pleasure equally with each other. In that one area of their lives, their were no barriers between them, and as Ianto's experience had grown, so had his confidence. Ironically, his sex life with Jack was the one aspect of his existence he had absolutely no complaints about.

Their lives had become deeply intertwined, but the old niggling doubts continued to resurface, leaving him to wonder if he and Jack could actually have a future together. Loving Jack wasn't the problem. Even his fear that Jack might not love him back wasn't really a problem either, at least for the moment. The problem was his circumstances, and they seemed inescapable. He would never truly be Jack's equal, and he felt certain that, sooner or later, Jack would get tired of his problems, and decide their involvement had been a terrible mistake. The thought of losing Jack was unbearable.

Breathing out a deep, unsteady sigh, Ianto put down the phone and slowly rose to his feet. He wandered around the empty shop, consumed by his melancholy thoughts. He wondered when this space had ceased being his safe place. There were so many memories contained within the aging walls, most of them good, and yet he was finding it more and more difficult to be there. The austere surroundings had become a constant reminder of the totality of his failure.

Anxiety and despair churned in his stomach, and he felt a frantic desire to escape. Grabbing his keys and wallet from the back of the shop, he flipped the sign on the front door to 'closed', locked the door behind him, and set off down the street. He headed in the direction of the pub he'd taken to visiting over the last couple of weeks. He needed a drink.

###

Jack leaned up against the doorway of the kitchen and watched sadly. Ianto was in the midst of another one of his cleaning binges. In the brief time they'd been living at the new house, these frenzies were becoming more and more frequent, and what had started off as an endearing eccentricity was rapidly evolving into something far more unsettling.

Since moving in, Ianto had immediately taken on the lions share of the domestic chores, insisting it was the least he could do, since he was living in Jack's house rent-free. While Jack appreciated the gesture, he was worried that the situation was getting out of control. He'd even begun to wonder if Ianto might need professional help. He'd previously suspected that Ianto suffered from a mild degree of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but from what Jack was observing, it was becoming more severe. He assumed the disturbing behaviour was directly related to the stress of Ianto's floundering business and financial woes.

To make matters worse, when Ianto wasn't furiously cleaning or doing other domestic tasks, he'd begun spending more time holed up in his room, reading, brooding, and writing in his diary. They'd moved most of Ianto's furniture into the spare bedroom, with the exception of Ianto's worn sofa which he'd left behind at his old flat. Jack was hurt when Ianto removed himself like that, shunning his company, but he tried to understand that Ianto might feel safest in that room, surrounded by familiar objects.

He reminded himself that he'd promised Ianto he could have his own space. When Ianto took himself into that room and closed the door, he clearly wanted to be left alone, and Jack tried to respect his need for solitude. Although Ianto had his bed in the room along with his bookcases, desk, television, and other odds and ends, he never slept there. He always slept in the main bedroom with Jack. That simple fact gave Jack some reassurance that Ianto wasn't harbouring any antagonism towards him, and by extension, he hoped, their relationship.

He was also frustrated that Ianto often seemed to ask his permission before doing things. It was clear that Ianto saw himself as a guest in Jack's home, rather than as an equal resident.

None of these things were conducive to the atmosphere of domestic bliss Jack had imagined when he'd first suggested the idea of them living together. Jack tried to be patient and understanding, and he knew it was a period of adjustment for both of them. The problem was, rather than things improving, they seemed to be getting worse.

He moved across the kitchen to where Ianto had his head down, scrubbing furiously at the already spotlessly clean stainless-steel sink.

"Ianto, stop that," Jack said gently, putting his hand on Ianto's arm to still his movements. "The kitchen's clean. Come and sit down."

Ianto paused and looked up at him with a frown. "I haven't finished, Jack."

"Stop," Jack repeated, more insistently. "Just stop. Please."

Ianto looked as if he was about to protest further, but then he nodded, although with obvious reluctance.

"How about I make us some coffee?" Jack suggested as the other man extracted his hands from the rubber gloves and put them neatly away under the sink, along with the cleaning supplies he'd been using.

"I can do that," Ianto protested, moving towards the gleaming coffee machine.

"No, I'll do it." Jack moved to block Ianto's path and nudged him towards the doorway. "You've trained me well. Go and sit down. Just relax for a bit."

He gave Ianto an encouraging smile, and Ianto nodded, returning a small, weary smile of his own. Jack waited until Ianto made his way through to the living room. After watching Ianto slump down on the sofa, he sighed and set to work preparing their coffees. The new coffee machine had been an unequivocal success, and while Ianto was undoubtedly the master of operating it, Jack had managed to learn enough to produce a respectable cup of coffee.

With the coffees made, he carried their mugs through to the living room. "Here we go," he said, putting the mugs down on the coffee table and sitting down beside Ianto. "I've been getting lonely in here on my own."

"Sorry," Ianto mumbled, his gaze fixed on the plain white coffee mug that was his favourite. "Just wanted to get the cleaning finished."

Jack reached for his coffee and took a sip. He settled his hand on Ianto's knee and squeezed lightly. "Talk to me, Ianto. Tell me what's going on with you."

Ianto visibly stiffened and glanced up at Jack warily. "What do you mean?"

"Ianto, you know what I mean," Jack said with a sigh, trying to keep his voice gentle and non-confrontational. "All the obsessive cleaning... the endless household chores you're always doing. All the things you insist on doing on your own, instead of letting me help you. I didn't ask you to live here so you could be my housekeeper."

"You're upset because I'm keeping your house clean?" Ianto asked, looking at him incredulously.

"I'm not upset," Jack assured him, struggling to keep the frustration from his voice. "I'm just worried about you. And it's not my house... it's our house... our home. Ianto, this is your home. When are you going to start believing that?"

Ianto shook his head, and Jack felt a stab of hurt when Ianto shifted along the sofa, putting some distance between them. Jack's hand slipped away from Ianto's knee and dropped to his side.

"But it's not," Ianto argued. "You won't let me pay rent, you complain when I try to pay for my share of the groceries. I mentioned paying my share of the utilities, and you pulled a face and brushed me off."

Jack rubbed at the back of his neck distractedly. Ianto's logic didn't really make sense since, as far as he knew, Ianto couldn't afford to pay for those things anyway. "I'm just trying to make things a little easier for you," he tried to explain. "I know you're a very proud man, Ianto, and I respect and admire that. But I'm your friend... your partner... I just want to take care of you."

Ianto's eyes narrowed, and for a moment, he looked like he was about to unleash an angry retort. Then he sighed and shook his head miserably. "I know... it's just that I hate this... not having any money... feeling like I can't even support myself."

"I can understand that," Jack said gently. "But I'd hoped living here would be good for you... a change of scene... a new home... us being together. I'd hoped you'd be happier. You said it's what you wanted."

"It is. And I am happy," Ianto said insistently, but the words sounded forced and lacking in conviction.

"No, you're not," Jack said, shaking his head. "You're miserable. A happy person doesn't spend two hours cleaning an already spotless kitchen."

Ianto glowered at him but didn't reply. He clasped his hands tightly in his lap and stared down at them. "It's not you, Jack," he eventually said in little more than a whisper.

Jack had to resist every instinct he had not to reach forward and pull Ianto into his arms. He hated seeing Ianto in pain and, even worse, he felt utterly powerless to do anything about it. "Well, that's good to know," he said instead.

He took a deep breath, trying to push aside his frustration both with Ianto and his own inability to fix the situation. He wanted to help Ianto, but the younger man needed to be willing to help himself too. "I'm really trying here, Ianto. I said I'd help you, that we'd figure things out. I meant that. I'll do anything I can to help you. But I can't do that if you shut me out. I want you to trust me... talk to me. There's no shame in admitting you need help. We all need help sometimes."

Ianto glanced up at him. "That's all I seem to do lately... need your help."

"So, what would you have me do?" Jack demanded, his annoyance starting to creep into his voice. "Stand by and do nothing while I watch you lose everything? I can't do that."

Ianto just stared miserably down at his hands. The younger man's lack of response only served to increase Jack's irritation.

"Ianto, listen to me," Jack said firmly. "That shop is ruining your life. I know it means a lot to you, but I can't believe that this is what your father would have wanted. If it's making you this unhappy, you need to let go... let him go. This isn't the way to honour his life. You honour him by choosing your own path, not by following his."

Ianto looked up sharply at Jack, his features turning stony. "You don't understand. You didn't know him. You don't understand what this meant to him... what it means to me."

"Ianto..." Jack tried, realising too late that his words, while he believed them to be true, had only incited Ianto's anger.

"No, Jack." Ianto rubbed his hand over his face and stood up, stepping across the room. "I spoke to an old friend of my dad's today. He owns a shop on Savile Row. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't think it mattered. He asked me to come and work for him. Maybe... maybe that's what I need to do. At least I can still be a tailor, I can earn decent money, and I can be independent again."

Jack stared up at Ianto in shock, a feeling of cold dread washing over him. "You can't be serious. You want to leave Cardiff? Leave me?"

Ianto looked down at his feet. "Maybe all of this was a mistake," he murmured.

Jack shook his head violently. "You don't mean that."

"This obviously isn't working." Ianto crossed his hands over his chest and glanced at Jack, his eyes filled with pain. "I don't want to be relying on you all the time... not having anything of my own. I can't keep doing that."

Jack stood up and moved towards Ianto. He placed his hands on Ianto's shoulders. "Then we find a way to make it work," he said insistently. "If you want a job, you could come and work at Torchwood for a while – at least until you decide what you want to do – we need someone to help with admin and I know John is wanting an assistant. You'd be perfect."

"You don't get it, do you?" Ianto retorted angrily, shaking his head and moving out of Jack's hold. "The last thing I want is more charity."

"It wouldn't be charity," Jack argued. He blinked, tears starting to fill his eyes as he thought about the possibility of losing Ianto. He brushed them roughly away with his hand. "So, that's your solution is it?" he demanded, his own anger boiling to the surface. "Pack up and run away because things are too difficult. Running away from your problems doesn't solve anything, Ianto. Believe me, I know."

Ianto stared at him furiously, but then seemed to visibly deflate. "You said it yourself, Jack," he said, his voice breaking. "We're at different points in our lives. Maybe it was never going to work. Not when you've got all of this." He waved his arm around vaguely. "A home, money, a great job, good friends... and I've got nothing. Maybe we've been deluding ourselves all along."

"No, I don't believe that for a moment." Jack stared hard at Ianto. The younger man just looked back at him sadly. "I don't think you believe it either. I can't believe you'd give up on us so easily."

"I don't want to. It's the last thing I want. But I don't know what to do." Ianto breathed out a sigh and moved towards the hallway. "Just leave me alone, Jack."

"Ianto, I'm only trying to help..." Jack said, hearing the blatant despair in his voice as he began to follow after the other man, but then stopped, having no idea what to say or do.

"I don't want any more help." Ianto grabbed his shoes, roughly pulling them on, and then reached for his jacket. "I'm going out."

The front door slammed, and Ianto was gone. Jack slumped back down onto the sofa. Tears streamed down his face, and this time he didn't make any attempt to stop them.


	21. Chapter 21

Hope everyone enjoys this. Please review! Thanks again to Furious Dee for graciously providing feedback and encouragement.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-One<strong>

The doorbell rang and Jack jumped upright with a start, the loud sound in the otherwise silent house pulling him violently to full alertness. Moses was curled up next to him, and looked up with wide, curious eyes from the sudden intrusion. Jack glanced blearily at his watch and noted the time was just after one-thirty a.m. Feeling a surge of panic, and with only one thought filling his head, he rushed to the front door.

He'd almost immediately regretted not going after Ianto when he'd bolted from the house several hours earlier. Ianto hadn't taken his phone with him, leaving Jack with no way to contact him, and no idea where to even begin looking. In desperation, he'd briefly considered calling Ianto's sister, but Ianto hadn't taken his car, so he couldn't have been planning to go there, not that Jack would have expected him to anyway. That would have been the last place he'd want to go. Without transportation, he also couldn't have been planning to go to his shop. Ianto had just ran off into the night.

Feeling sick with worry, and deeply concerned about Ianto's state of mind, Jack had paced and waited. His thoughts had run continuously over their conversation, and he'd berated himself repeatedly for handling things so badly. He hadn't realised that Ianto had been feeling so subjugated by his situation and Jack's attempts to help him. Once his tears had finally stopped falling, he'd begun to really think about what Ianto had said. He'd tried to imagine how he would have felt if he was in the younger man's situation.

Jack didn't want to believe that Ianto could be so willing to throw their relationship away, even though that seemed to be the case. They'd shared so much, and he thought he meant more to Ianto than that. He loved Ianto and he needed him. He'd never needed anyone, or anything, as much as he needed the unassuming young Welshman who had so completely captured his heart. He didn't want to contemplate a life without Ianto. When they were together, he felt happy and content, and his life made sense. He tried to cling to the hope that Ianto was simply scared and upset when he'd talked about leaving, and that he'd lashed out in frustration over his circumstances. Feeling a gut-wrenching mixture of hurt, sorrow, and regret, Jack had curled up on the sofa, desperately hoping it wasn't the end for them.

Yanking the front door open, Jack was stunned to find Andy standing on his doorstep, dressed in uniform, and with a barely conscious, heavily inebriated Ianto slumped against his side. Ianto looked like hell. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were blotchy and stained with tears, his hair was sticking out in all directions, and his clothes were a crumpled mess. Jack almost didn't recognise him. Andy's arm around his waist seemed to be the only thing keeping him upright.

"Ianto!" Jack gasped, relieved to see him, but horrified by the state he was in. "Oh, thank God."

"Evening, Jack," Andy said in greeting, and gave Jack a wry smile. "I think this one might belong to you."

Jack waved them inside, and after helping Andy to drag an unresponsive Ianto over the threshold, he closed the door behind them. He looked at Ianto worriedly while keeping an arm around his shoulders. "Andy, what the hell happened?"

Before Andy could reply, Ianto pulled away, and with an almost incoherent mumbled 'thanks' directed at the police constable, he started climbing unsteadily up the stairs.

"I'd better get him safely upstairs," Jack said, moving to follow closely behind Ianto so he couldn't topple backwards and hurt himself. He placed his hands on either side of Ianto's waist to steady him.

Andy nodded. "No problem. I'll wait here."

Jack remained silent as they slowly climbed the stairs. He wasn't sure what to say and decided it was better to find out what had happened from Andy first. He doubted he'd get anything coherent out of Ianto in his current state, assuming the younger man would even talk to him.

They reached the top of the stairs. Ianto lifted his head, peering at Jack with dazed eyes filled with pain and remorse. "Jack..." he mumbled, slurring his name. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," Jack assured him, gently rubbing his back. "Go and get some rest. We'll talk in the morning when you feel up to it, all right?"

Ianto's head moved in an approximation of a nod. Turning away, he began stumbling towards their bedroom but then stopped, and glancing back at Jack, he turned and staggered towards his own room instead. Jack wanted to stop him, but decided it was probably best if they each had his own space for the night. Watching as Ianto shoved the door closed behind him, Jack sighed deeply and retreated downstairs.

"We found him huddled up on the ground at the side of the Millennium Centre," Andy explained after Jack had returned to the hallway. "We'd just been dealing with a pub brawl, and we were doing a final patrol of the area before calling it a night. It was a fluke I spotted him. There was an empty scotch bottle on the ground beside him, and the poor sod was crying his eyes out."

"Shit," Jack murmured, hit with a fresh wave of guilt for not going after Ianto when he'd had the chance.

"I'm guessing you two had a pretty bad fight," Andy continued, looking at Jack worriedly. "On the way here, he kept saying that you must hate him, and that he'd ruined everything."

Jack nodded despondently. "He's been having kind of a rough time lately, and we got into an argument earlier. He stormed out of the house. I should have gone after him."

Andy shrugged. "These things happen. Are you two going to be okay?"

"I hope so, Andy," Jack replied, scrubbing his hand roughly over his face. "I really do."

Andy looked sympathetic. "Well, the main thing is he's home, safe and sound. Might be best to let him sleep it off, and then talk to him in the morning."

"Good idea," Jack agreed. "Thanks for bringing him home. I really appreciate it. I was getting frantic with worry."

"Sure, no problem. Ianto seems like a good bloke." Andy smiled. "You really love him, don't you?"

"Yeah," Jack replied honestly. "Yeah, I do."

"Have you told him?" Andy asked.

"We haven't really reached that stage yet," Jack admitted. "Which in retrospect, we should have done before we moved in together. I've wanted to, but I wasn't sure how he felt, and I didn't want to scare him off."

"We've all been there," Andy said with a wry chuckle. "But maybe he needs to hear it. You never know, it might help."

Jack nodded in agreement. He thought Andy was probably right, and it seemed like they were at a point where admitting the full depth of his feelings probably couldn't make things any worse.

"Well, I'd better go," Andy said, and Jack opened the door for him. "If either of you need anything, you can call me anytime, okay?"

"Okay," Jack replied with a weary but appreciative smile. "Thanks again, Andy."

Andy nodded and clapped Jack on the shoulder. Turning away, he walked quickly towards his car.

Jack closed and locked the door. After turning off the downstairs lights, and checking on Moses, who had retreated to his basket in the corner of the living room, he made his way upstairs. He stood at the door of Ianto's room, and paused uncertainly. Taking a deep breath, he carefully cracked the door open a few inches and looked inside. The room was dark, but from the sliver of light cast through the doorway, he could see that the clothes Ianto had been wearing were scattered haphazardly on the floor, and Ianto was curled up in a lump under the covers of his old bed.

"Goodnight, Ianto," Jack whispered sadly, resisting the urge to move into the room and try to comfort the younger man.

Instead, he closed the door and retreated to their bedroom, realising he faced a night of sleeping in his large bed alone.

###

Ianto woke with a dull pounding ache in his head, accompanied by a sick, churning sensation in his stomach. He groaned loudly. Feeling disoriented, he glanced around the dimly illuminated space, and realised he wasn't in Jack's bedroom. He wasn't in Jack's bed, and he was alone. His foggy mind couldn't make sense of that at first. Jack was always there with him when he woke up.

Suddenly his memories of the night before flooded into his consciousness. His conversation with Jack replayed in his mind with terrible clarity. He remembered the awful things he'd said, and how he'd run off into the night, eventually seeking empty solace in a cheap bottle of scotch. Feeling the tenuous hold on his life rapidly slipping through his fingers, he'd just wanted to escape from all the pain, anger, and frustration. All his conflicting emotions had come rushing to the surface, and in a series of moments he was certain he'd regret for the rest of his life, he'd ruined everything. Jack was the one good thing in his life, and he'd turned his back on him, running away and leaving Jack to think that he meant nothing to him, when in fact Jack meant more to him than he could ever hope to put into words.

He wondered how he'd ever be able to face Jack again, and if the older man would even give him a chance to try to explain himself. Recalling the tears and anguish in Jack's eyes when he'd suggested that their relationship was a mistake, he was consumed by an intense wave of self-loathing. The last thing he'd ever wanted to do was hurt Jack.

Feeling tears burning in his eyes, he was just about to bury his head under the bed covers, when the door cracked open. Jack was standing there, dressed in a blue t-shirt and a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms, looking at him with worried, red-rimmed eyes. "Ianto... can I come in?"

Ianto nodded meekly. "Yeah, of course," he replied in a rasping croak. His throat felt raw and his mouth was dry. Struggling with the tangle of bed covers, he eventually managed to shift himself into a semi-upright position, and glanced anxiously up at Jack.

Jack edged slowly forward until he was standing at the side of the bed. "Here, I thought you could use these," he said, passing Ianto the glass of water he was holding along with a couple of aspirin.

"Thanks," Ianto mumbled, tossing the tablets into his mouth and taking the water, drinking it down greedily as it helped to sooth his sore throat.

Jack knelt down at the side of the bed and looked at him with concern. To Ianto's astonishment, Jack reached forward and lightly stroked his cheek. "You look terrible," Jack said quietly, a hint of a sad smile ghosting over his lips.

"I've been better," Ianto admitted. Glancing away, he took a deep breath and summoned his courage. He looked cautiously back at Jack. "I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's okay," Jack said, lowering his hand to trail along Ianto's bare shoulder and down his arm before breaking contact.

Ianto began to shake his head, but then thought better of it as the throbbing in his skull intensified. "No, it's not, Jack. I was an utter bastard. Do you... do you think you can forgive me?"

"Of course I can," Jack replied, with enough certainty to give Ianto a flicker of hope. "I'm not sure there's even anything to forgive. But I need to know, Ianto." He paused and Ianto heard the fear in his voice. "Do you really want to leave and move to London? Do you want to leave me?"

"No," Ianto said vehemently. "No, Jack. I meant it when I said that's the last thing I want." He breathed out a deep sigh. "I don't know what I was thinking. I suppose I was just looking for a way out of my mess. But I could never leave you. I know I said some terrible things, but nothing is worth losing you."

Jack nodded, a look of relief passing over his features.

Ianto looked at Jack fearfully. "Um, do you want me to go? Move out?"

"Ianto, no. Of course not. We just have to figure out how to make this work." Jack paused, his expression turning regretful. "I thought about what you said, and I think I understand. I want you to know that I never wanted you to feel like you were losing your independence... I never wanted you to feel diminished, or like you were losing yourself. The only thing I wanted was for us to be together."

"I know, Jack," Ianto assured him. "It's not your fault."

Jack shook his head. "Maybe not, but I could have been more sensitive. I just want you to be happy."

"I know," Ianto repeated. He shuffled over in the bed and patted the empty space beside him. "Stay with me for a while?" he asked tentatively, hoping Jack wouldn't reject him even though he was certain he deserved it.

Jack gave him a hesitant smile and nodded. Rising to his feet, he climbed in next to Ianto. He tugged off his t-shirt, dropped it to the floor, and slid down under the covers. Ianto settled against Jack's side, wrapping an arm around his waist. Jack's arms encircled him, pulling them closer together.

"Better?" Jack asked softly.

"Much better," Ianto replied, pressing his face against Jack's bare chest, and drawing comfort from the older man's presence. He didn't know how he could have ever considered giving this up, no matter how briefly. It was the only place he truly felt safe.

Jack's fingers stroked slowly up and down Ianto's back, soothing him. "That was the first night we've spent apart since you moved in with me," Jack murmured.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said with regret.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Jack said casually, but Ianto could hear the underlying sadness in his voice. "I missed you though. I'm not used to sleeping alone anymore."

"Me neither," Ianto whispered.

He knew Jack wasn't just talking about sex. Jack had obviously missed his presence, just as he had missed Jack's. He'd done significant damage to their relationship, giving Jack reason to doubt his commitment. Despairing at the idea of Jack looking at him with doubt or mistrust, he vowed that he'd do whatever was necessary to repair that damage.

He pressed his lips to Jack's chest and tightened his embrace in an attempt to comfort him. They laid still for several minutes, just holding onto each other, their breathing the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

As the pounding in his head began to recede, Ianto's thoughts drifted, and he considered his options. He'd reached a critical moment in his life, and he had to make a decision. He couldn't deny the reality of his situation any longer, and drowning himself in liquor wasn't a solution. He couldn't risk losing Jack, and to ensure that wouldn't happen, he needed to take action. As much as he hadn't wanted to hear it, Jack had been right. He needed to let go of the past and move forward with his life, no matter how terrifying and painful that would be.

"Jack, what time is it?" he asked, breaking the silence. He had to stop and think for a moment before remembering it was Friday, and they both should have been getting ready for work.

"It was a little after nine when I came up to check on you," Jack answered. "I called John and told him I wasn't sure if I'd be at work today. I didn't know if you'd want me around, but I couldn't leave you on your own until I knew you were okay."

"Oh." Ianto wasn't sure what to say. He was touched by Jack's concern for his welfare, even though he felt it was undeserved. He pushed himself up a little, resting on his elbow so he could look into Jack's eyes. "You can go if you want. I'll be all right."

"I'd rather stay here with you," Jack said, looking up at him. "If that's okay?"

Ianto smiled for the first time in what seemed like days and nodded. Reaching for Jack's hand, he curled their fingers together. "More than okay."

Jack gave him a gentle smile in return. Pulling himself upright a little, Jack squeezed Ianto's hand, and his eyes focused on him with almost unnerving intensity. "Ianto, I need to tell you something. If you'd decided you wanted to move to London for that job... if it had been what you really wanted... I would have come with you."

"What?" Ianto asked incredulously, not sure if he'd heard Jack correctly.

"If that had been the choice I'd had to make," Jack continued. "If I'd had to choose between my life here, or being with you." He shrugged with a hint of self-deprecation. "It wouldn't have been a choice at all. I can't lose you, it's as simple as that."

Ianto just stared at him in astonishment. He couldn't believe Jack would give up everything he had just to be with him. It sounded completely insane. "Jack..." he began but then stopped, at a loss for words.

"No, please, let me finish," Jack said insistently.

Ianto nodded and remained silent.

Jack took a deep breath, looking at him earnestly. "I should have told you this before... I shouldn't have waited this long." He paused and visibly swallowed. "Ianto, I love you."

Ianto continued to stare at him, frozen in place. "You do?" he asked in little more than a whisper.

"Yeah, I do." Jack smiled with uncharacteristic shyness. "I love you so much I can hardly bear it sometimes."

Ianto felt a smile spread across his face as a surge of warmth flooded over him. "Jack, I love you, too," he said quietly, trying to keep his voice steady. "More than I ever thought possible."

"Really?" Jack asked, his smile growing wider and more certain.

"Really," Ianto confirmed, regretting that he'd waited so long to say what was in his heart. He'd been afraid and uncertain, but he was tired of living a life filled with doubt. He closed the small gap between them, pulling Jack into his arms and holding him tightly, relieved that Jack wasn't angry with him, and overwhelmed by the knowledge that Jack reciprocated his feelings.

Jack pulled back slightly and brought their lips together in a slow, tender kiss. Ianto almost resisted, worried about the state of his mouth, but Jack didn't seem to care. For once, Ianto didn't care either. Jack's hands cradled his neck and lower back, and Ianto savoured the soft warmth of Jack's lips moving against his own while their bodies pressed together. He wrapped his hands around Jack's face and deepened the kiss, moving his thumbs gently over Jack's smooth skin as he tried to convey everything he was feeling.

Eventually they broke apart and Ianto stared into Jack's eyes, tracing his fingertips admiringly along Jack's jaw line. Jack's eyes gazed back at him with openness and vulnerability, the depths filled with a complex mix of emotions that Ianto was certain were mirrored in his own. As difficult as he found it to believe that this beautiful man could truly love him, he knew it was true. Jack's words had been every bit as sincere and heartfelt as his own.

Settling back down into the pillows, their bodies moving into a comforting embrace, they faced each other and smiled.

"Were you serious about me coming to work at Torchwood for a while?" Ianto asked, after a moment.

"Absolutely," Jack replied, looking into his eyes hopefully. "We need someone, and you'd be perfect. Even if it's just short-term. If you're interested, I'll talk to John and you can have a chat with him about it... see if you think it's something you might enjoy."

"I'm definitely interested, and I think I'd like it." Ianto thought about the possibility. The idea of having a normal job and a steady income was incredibly appealing after all the stress of trying to run his business, and the constant worry of struggling to pay his bills. He'd be able to pay Jack the money he owed him, and he could contribute equally to their living expenses. It would at least be a start to taking control of his life. "I need to make some changes. And I'm going to apply to Cardiff University."

"So, you've decided to close the shop?" Jack asked cautiously.

"Yes." Ianto's heart clenched with the thought of what he'd decided to do, but he knew it was the right decision. "You were right, Jack. It's time to move on."

"I know it's a heartbreaking decision to have to make," Jack said gently, looking sympathetic and concerned. "Although I think it's for the best, I'm sorry that you have to do it."

"It will hurt like hell, but it's what I need to do," Ianto agreed, trying not to think too much about how painful it would be to say goodbye to such a profound and enduring part of his life. He gave Jack what he hoped was a courageous smile. "I don't think I can do it alone though."

Jack reached for his hand and grasped it firmly. "Well, luckily, you don't have to. I'll be there with you every step of the way."

"Thanks, Jack," Ianto said sincerely. "So, um... well, assuming I get the job... it won't be too weird... us working together, even if it's just for a little while?"

Jack chuckled and his eyes twinkled mischievously. "As long as you can keep your hands to yourself, and keep that delicious, dirty mind of yours under control during work hours, I think we'll be fine. Besides, it'll be fun having you there to stare at all day."

Ianto rolled his eyes, yet he couldn't help but smile. "You're impossible... and shameless... and several dozen other things I'm too hungover to find the words for right now."

Jack laughed, and shifting closer, they kissed again. "God, I love you, Ianto Jones."

Ianto continued to smile at Jack. He knew the coming days would be difficult, and he also knew they still had issues to work through. But now they'd shared their feelings for each other, and he'd decided to find a new path for his life, he felt hopeful. He was sure that things could get better. "I love you too, Jack."

"I think we deserve a treat. Feel up to some breakfast?" Jack suggested. "Pancakes and coffee? I'll get it ready while you go and have your shower."

Ianto nodded and Jack tugged him to his feet. "I'd like that."


	22. Chapter 22

Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Thanks for staying with the story, and a special thanks to all those who so generously take the time to review. Just a note that there might be a longer delay than usual before the next posting - I'm thinking of adding a new chapter after this one and before the final two, but I haven't started writing it yet :-(. I'll try to get it done and posted as soon as I can.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Two<strong>

Jack sipped his coffee and watched with wry amusement as Ianto devoured his second helping of pancakes. Ianto's drinking binge had clearly worked up a healthy appetite, whereas Jack had only managed to halfheartedly eat a single pancake, finding his own appetite uncharacteristically diminished. It was strange to think that little more than an hour earlier, he hadn't been sure if he and Ianto still had a future together, and now they were sitting side-by-side on their sofa, eating breakfast, almost as if nothing had happened.

Having showered, shaved, and dressed in jeans and a navy t-shirt, Ianto looked more like his usual self again, although the telltale signs of the previous evening remained evident in his eyes, and tired, drawn features. It had been an emotionally exhausting twelve hours for both of them. Although he didn't have a hangover to deal with, Jack doubted that he looked in any better shape than Ianto. He'd barely slept, feeling anxious and despondent, and unable to settle without the comfort of Ianto curled up beside him. His thoughts had raced all night as he'd tried to figure out how to reason with the troubled Welshman and salvage their relationship.

He was struggling to process everything that had happened between them in the short space of time. However, he hoped they'd reached a turning point, and he was thankful they were talking. He was relieved beyond words that Ianto didn't want to break up with him. The mere thought of losing Ianto was unbearable. He knew it wasn't going to be easy though, and they still had issues to work through. He was under no illusions that it was going to take time and patience on both their parts.

Jack's thoughts returned to their earlier conversation in Ianto's room. While the circumstances hadn't been ideal, they'd admitted the depth of their feelings for each other, and he felt elated with the knowledge that Ianto truly loved him. While neither of them were the type of people to constantly declare their affection for each other, knowing that he could express his feelings without fear of rejection was an enormous relief. He'd spent too long dancing around the simple but terrifying words.

Watching as Ianto put down his plate and picked up his coffee mug, Jack took another sip of his own drink, savouring the strong, bitter taste.

"I spoke to John again while you were in the shower," he began. "I didn't go into any details about the situation, but he said you can start working at Torchwood as soon as you're ready." He paused and looked at Ianto uncertainly. "I wasn't sure what time-frame you've got in mind, but I said it will probably be at least a couple of weeks, and that you'll want to have a chat with him first. He said that's fine. Perhaps you can stop by the office on Monday and talk to him."

Ianto nodded. "All right. Thanks, Jack. And thanks for talking to John." His expression became pensive. "I suppose it will take a couple of weeks to get everything finalised."

"That's what I thought," Jack agreed. He looked at Ianto earnestly. "Ianto, I need you to understand that I didn't suggest this job out of charity. You've got a foot in the door, but the rest is up to you. I'll support you and do my best to help you in any way I can, and you'll be amongst friends, but it's up to you as to what you make of it. Although, I meant it when I said I think you'll be perfect." He chuckled slightly. "We're all a bit hopeless when it comes to organisational skills."

Ianto nodded again, a flicker of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He looked at Jack solemnly. "I understand, Jack. Thanks for believing in me."

"I'll always believe in you." Jack put down his mug and reached for Ianto's hand, wrapping it firmly in his own. He looked into Ianto's eyes, searching for any sign of doubt. "You're sure this is what you want? I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into something you're not ready for."

Ianto shook his head and squeezed Jack's hand. "You're not pushing me into it. It's my decision, and if it doesn't work out, at least I'll have tried."

Jack nodded. "Okay, as long as you're sure."

He knew the next two weeks were going to be a tumultuous time for both of them, but especially for Ianto. The younger man's decision to close his shop was heartbreaking, and it tore at Jack's soul, not only because of his sympathy for Ianto's situation, but because the shop held sentimental value for him too. It was where they'd met, and where some of the early, but pivotal, moments of their relationship had taken place. He hated the thought of saying goodbye to it. However, he admired Ianto's courage, and he just hoped that the painful decision would allow Ianto to heal and move forward with his life.

"I hate that you're having to go through this," Jack added quietly, moving closer to Ianto. "But we're going to get through it. Together."

"Together," Ianto agreed. He gave Jack a weak smile. "It's okay, Jack. Everything you said was right. It's time to let go."

Something about the look of sad determination in Ianto's eyes caused Jack's heart to ache painfully, and yet swell with pride and affection. Taking the nearly empty coffee mug gently from Ianto's other hand and putting it down on the table, he pulled Ianto into his arms and kissed him slowly.

Jack poured everything he was feeling into the kiss, and Ianto reciprocated with what felt like the same degree of desperate longing. Like the kisses they'd shared earlier that morning, it was undeniably passionate, but it was fuelled more by a need for comfort and reassurance, and less by lust and desire.

When they finally pulled apart, Jack shifted to sprawl along the length of the sofa, his shoulders settling against the backrest, as he tugged Ianto's willing body with him. Ianto settled between his legs, his back against Jack's chest, and the back of his head resting on Jack's shoulder. Jack wrapped his arms securely around Ianto's waist, holding onto him tightly, and Ianto's hands rested on top of his.

Jack felt an overwhelming need to simply hold onto Ianto and not let him go. He buried his nose in Ianto's freshly washed hair and breathed in the familiar scent. "Is this okay?" he murmured. "I just need to hold you."

"It's perfect," Ianto whispered in reply, squeezing their hands together in a reassuring gesture.

Jack lost track of time as they lay there in silence. Ianto pressed his face against Jack's neck, sighing gently, and Jack allowed his thoughts to drift. He thought about everything they'd shared, all the happiness Ianto had brought into his previously lonely life. He thought again about everything Ianto had said to him the night before, reminding Jack of the younger man's feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

"Remember our first date?" Jack asked quietly, stroking his right hand up and down Ianto's chest, while his left arm remained wrapped around Ianto's waist. "We were sitting together on the floor right there by the doorway." He chuckled gently at the memory. "You had your work cut out for you with trying to reign in my colour schemes."

"I remember," Ianto murmured. "I still have nightmares about bright orange bedrooms."

Jack chuckled again. "I think we've established that I'm a little challenged when it comes to interior design."

"I think it's safe to say you're completely rubbish at it," Ianto retorted with unmistakeable affection in his voice.

Jack let out a good-natured growl and gave Ianto a playful squeeze. "What about the kitchen? You like what I picked out for that."

"Did you really choose it on your own?" Ianto asked pointedly, and while Jack couldn't see Ianto's face at that moment, he imagined the younger man raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"All right, I might have had a tiny bit of help," Jack admitted with a put-upon sigh. "There was a nice lady at the kitchen place. She flirted with me outrageously. But on the plus side, I got a fantastic discount."

"I knew it," Ianto declared, sounding decidedly smug.

Jack couldn't help grinning. Somehow, he'd known he would end up confessing that little secret sooner or later. "Anyway, we're kind of getting off topic here. What I'm trying to say is that the first time you saw this place, it was just an empty, derelict shell. And now, look at how fantastic it is. I never imagined it could look this amazing."

"That's understandable," Ianto agreed. "The house was still in quite a state the first time I saw it."

"I don't think you understand, Ianto." Jack found Ianto's right hand and clasped it in his own, settling them on Ianto's chest, above his heart. "When I look around this house, everything I see reminds me of you. I remember all the time we spent together as you helped me choose everything. We had a lot of fun together doing that."

Jack paused and drew in a deep breath. "I look at the colour of the walls, and I remember our first date. I look at the coffee machine in the kitchen, and I think about the look of joy on your face when you came home from work that day, and saw it for the first time. I remember how excited you were to try it out. I look at this sofa and think about how happy we were when we went to buy it, the day after we moved in. I open the wardrobe in our bedroom and I see all your gorgeous suits hanging neatly beside my clothes, and I remember the day we met, and how much meeting you has changed my life. I see the jacket we bought for your birthday, and I remember how special that day was for both of us."

"Everything about this house... you're a part of it. So much of what we've shared is represented here in some way. And without you... well, it would just be a house... it wouldn't mean anything. Sure, it would be a nice place to live, but that's all it would be. It's having you here that makes it so much more." Jack's voice broke as he felt tears welling up in his eyes, his emotions getting the better of him. "It's having you here with me that makes this a home."

Ianto shifted and turned around in Jack's arms, looking at him with wide-eyed surprise. "Jack..." he whispered, reaching up and wiping away a stray tear as it trailed down Jack's cheek.

Jack lifted his hand and stroked his fingers gently over Ianto's cheek. "And no matter what sort of day I have," he continued, looking deeply into Ianto's eyes. "I know that I'll come home, and I'll be able to pull you into my arms, and you'll kiss me, and everything will make sense, because I have you."

Ianto continued to look at Jack with an expression of astonishment, his hand still resting against Jack's face.

"I understand that you think none of this is yours," Jack continued insistently. "But that's simply not true. Sure, I took out the mortgage, and the house is in my name. But in every way that actually matters, I think of it as ours. It's the home we created and moved into together." He gave Ianto a hesitant smile. "I just want you to see it the same way I do."

"And this won't be forever. In a few years time, you'll be more established in your life, and you'll have everything you want. I truly believe that, Ianto. And one day, I hope we'll choose a new home together... we'll find a house we both love, and we'll be able to do it all again. But in the meantime, this isn't so bad, is it? As long as we're together, that's what matters to me."

Ianto blinked, his eyes bright with his own unshed tears. "I never thought about it like that... I didn't know that's how you felt." He blinked again, his expression filling with regret. "I've been an idiot, haven't I?"

"No, Ianto. No, you haven't," Jack said firmly, worried that his heartfelt words might have had the wrong effect. He hadn't intended to say as much as he had, but with his emotions so raw, once he'd started, it had all come pouring out. "Not at all. I'm not saying any of this to make you feel bad. I understand how you feel, I really do. If I was in your position, I think I'd feel the same way."

He paused and stroked Ianto's cheek again. "But can you try to see things the way I do? When you look around this house... think about everything you've contributed to make it our home. Will you try to do that for me?"

Ianto nodded. "Yes, Jack. I'll try," he said softly and with obvious sincerity.

Jack tilted his head up and met Ianto's lips in a soft kiss. He wrapped his arms around Ianto again, holding him close against his chest, as he trailed his fingers gently through the younger man's hair.

"Jack," Ianto murmured a few moments later. He raised himself up enough to meet Jack's eyes, and Jack immediately noticed the mischievous twinkle in the blue depths he adored. "I've decided I really hate your coffee table."

Jack laughed, surprising himself by how good it felt. Ianto grinned back at him, looking pleased by his reaction. "Well, how about you buy us a new one when you get your first pay cheque? And if there's anything else you want to get, just go ahead, okay? Anything you want to make this feel more like your home too."

"Okay," Ianto agreed with a soft smile, and then kissed him.

Jack watched curiously as Ianto suddenly hauled himself to his feet. He reached for Jack's hand and Jack stood up to join him. Ianto squeezed his hand and continued holding onto it.

"Come upstairs with me?" Ianto asked him, hope in his eyes. "We've got some making up to do from last night."

"Just try and stop me," Jack said with a wide grin, allowing Ianto to lead him up the stairs and into their bedroom.

As they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, their discarded clothing scattered haphazardly on the floor, Jack knew that as long as they loved each other, and wanted to be together above all else, they were going to be okay. They were both too strong-willed and stubborn not to be.

###

It was two weeks later when Ianto stood in the middle of the empty confines of what had formerly been 'Jones and Son – Master Tailors'. Now it was nothing more than a vacant shell. The space looked small, lifeless, and neglected. Almost overnight, the family business which had been operating for over eighty-five years, and owned by four generations of Jones' men, had simply ceased to exist.

After making the decision to close the business, Ianto had called Alun and politely declined his job offer. However, Alun had still agreed to buy the shop's stock for a fair price. After sending him a comprehensive inventory by e-mail, Ianto had been surprised when Alun had offered to take everything on the list. He suspected Alun's generosity was out of respect for Ianto's father, but it was a fair deal for both parties, and for once, Ianto had been determined not to let his pride get in the way. He needed the money to begin his new future. He'd been pleasantly surprised to realise that the amount he'd receive would be enough to pay for his entire university degree, assuming his application was accepted and he received a placement. It was going to be a while before he'd find out, and in the meantime, all he could do was hope for the best.

That had left only the equipment and shop fittings. He'd found an antiques dealer who had bought everything except for one of the sewing machines and some of the other smaller pieces of equipment and tools, which Ianto had decided to keep. Jack had helped him to move those items into the small spare room at Jack's house. Ianto intended to continue practicing his tailoring skills when time permitted, even if it was only to make the occasional new suit for Jack or himself. He'd kept several bolts of his favourite fabrics along with everything else he'd need.

Alun had organised a van to collect the stock and it had departed half an hour earlier, after he and Jack had helped the driver to load it up. He'd carefully packed the few remaining items he wanted to keep into a couple of cardboard boxes, and they were waiting by the door to be taken back to the house.

As Ianto gazed around for a final time, it seemed he was always saying goodbye to the places that had been profoundly significant in his life. First it had been the house he'd grown up in when they'd had to sell it after his father's death, then there had been his flat, followed not long after by Jack's flat, and now there was his shop. Every aspect of his former life had been systematically eliminated. It was an overwhelming thought, and if not for Jack, he would be alone and adrift in the world.

He blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. His mind wandered back over his memories of all the time he'd spent here with his father. He held those memories close to his heart, and they were now all he had left. The weight of failure lingered, but he reminded himself that the business had begun to fail long before he'd taken it over. In retrospect, he should have let it go much sooner. There were so many things he should have done differently, but he couldn't allow himself to dwell on his mistakes anymore. The time for regret had passed.

This was his final farewell to his old life. On Monday, he was beginning his new job at Torchwood Publishing, and while he was excited about it, he was also apprehensive. He'd become so used to being his own boss and working in solitude, he wasn't sure how well he'd adapt to a regular job where he'd be surrounded by other people. It was going to be a huge adjustment, but he was determined to make the most of the opportunity. He needed to prove to himself that he could be useful beyond the realms of tailoring.

Jack walked through the door, his features sad and pensive. Ianto knew Jack was worried about him, but his support had been unwavering. Jack moved to stand behind him, and he wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist. Ianto leaned back against Jack for a moment, drawing strength and comfort from his presence. He felt Jack's lips press gently just above his shirt collar, but Jack remained silent. He seemed to understand that no words could make the farewell any less painful.

Glancing around at the spartan surroundings which now felt so strange and unwelcoming, Ianto rubbed the tears from his eyes and turned in Jack's arms. "I just need a moment, Jack," he said quietly, meeting Jack's concerned gaze. "I won't be long."

Jack nodded. "Take as much time as you need. I'll get the boxes loaded into the car."

Leaning closer, Jack kissed Ianto's forehead and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Ianto nodded and smiled at him gratefully. He watched as Jack moved away to complete his task, picking up one of the boxes by the doorway, and carrying it out to his car, which was parked just outside the shop's entrance.

Ianto slowly made his way through the curtain and into the empty back room. He'd spent an enormous part of his life in this small, confined space. It was also where, after returning from a routine trip to the dry cleaners, he'd found his father lying unconscious on the floor. Dafydd Jones had passed away before the ambulance had even arrived at the hospital.

Wiping away a solitary tear as it trailed down his cheek, Ianto turned away. With determination and a heavy heart, he walked out of the room, and across the shop floor. Turning off the lights for a final time, he crossed the shop's threshold, and locked the door behind him. The lock clicked into place with a solid and familiar clunk, and he knew he'd never hear that sound again. With one final lingering glance at the tired shopfront, he turned to where Jack was waiting for him by the car. Ianto walked towards him and didn't look back.

He was tired of grieving... tired of trying to hold onto the past. He had what he hoped was a bright new future to look forward to... a future of new possibilities... a future with Jack.


	23. Chapter 23

My apologies if this chapter seems rushed and a bit rough around the edges. It's a very last minute addition to the story, but I really wanted to finish posting the final chapters this weekend, so I wrote and edited it as quickly as I could. Hopefully it's still fairly enjoyable. A special thanks again to everyone who takes the time to review. Sadly, there's just two chapters to go now.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Three<strong>

Ianto stood in front of the bathroom mirror and carefully fastened his tie in his preferred half-Windsor knot. Adjusting it to sit neatly at his collar, he ran his hand down the length of silk fabric and critically eyed his appearance. The cobalt-blue shirt had been an impromptu decision. After selecting his favourite grey pinstripe suit, he'd stood at their wardrobe, staring in distaste at his large collection of freshly washed and ironed white shirts. They seemed austere and soulless, and they were an unwelcome reminder of his old life.

With little else to choose from, he'd picked out the rarely-worn blue shirt and paired it with a blue and silver stripped tie he'd found in Jack's surprisingly vast collection of neck-wear. He didn't like any of his own ties anymore either. The only exception was the red tie he'd worn for his first restaurant date with Jack. That particular tie held significance for him, and along with its matching shirt, he kept them for special occasions.

Reasonably satisfied with his attire, he fiddled with his hair, brushing it back from his forehead and dabbing on some gel to hold it in place. He'd just finished washing his hands when Jack sauntered up behind him, resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder and smiling at him in the mirror.

"Stop fretting," Jack admonished lightly. "You look completely gorgeous. I love this colour shirt on you." His hands trailed down the length of Ianto's torso and settled on his hips. "And this tie goes with it perfectly."

Ianto half-heartedly attempted a smile. He was slowly getting used to Jack's effusive compliments about his appearance, and to his great relief, he no longer experienced a flush of embarrassment whenever Jack said something flattering about him. "Thanks, Jack," he murmured.

"You okay?" Jack asked, a frown creasing his forehead.

Ianto sighed and turned to face him. "Yeah. I'm just a bit nervous."

He almost laughed at the absurdity of his understatement. It would have been more accurate to say he was on the verge of becoming a nervous wreck. Since waking up, his stomach had been churning violently, and he felt jumpy and on edge. He'd barely managed to force down half a bowl of cereal, and even his morning coffee had seemed unappealing.

Looking into Jack's concerned eyes, he tried to produce a more convincing smile. Leaning in, he kissed Jack gently on the lips, as much for his own sake as for Jack's.

He wondered if he'd made a mistake in deciding to start at Torchwood so soon. It was only three days ago when he'd closed the doors on his shop for the final time, and he was still trying to deal with the emotional aftermath of that life-altering decision. While he didn't regret his choice, it had left him feeling lost and uncertain. The small, unassuming shop had been the one stable, consistent thing in his life for so long, he wasn't sure if he knew who he was without it. He supposed that was the problem. His entire identity had been wrapped up in that old life, and he'd been little more than the tailor's son for as long as he could remember.

The full impact of the loss hadn't struck until the day after. He'd woken up on Saturday morning and suddenly realised he didn't have anywhere to go. Without warning, he'd started sobbing uncontrollably, causing Jack to look at him with worry and alarm. All of a sudden his determination and self-imposed stoicism of the previous two weeks had crumbled, and with nothing left to hold them back, the full extent of his emotions had burst to the surface. Jack had simply held him tightly until the tears had finally stopped falling.

Using all of his skill, Jack had proceeded to comfort him in the best possible way, and despite his initial despondency, Ianto had decided that not having to go to work on a Saturday had some definite advantages. They'd spent a lazy day together, and then on Sunday they'd driven down to Tenby for the day, wandering around the remains of Tenby castle, and walking along the beach.

He'd also been worrying about the wisdom of him and Jack working together. Given that they spent almost all of their time together outside of work hours, he hoped it wouldn't become a case of too much of a good thing. The other concern was what Jack's colleagues would think about him working with them. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to think he was getting special treatment because of his relationship with Jack. He was determined to keep their work and personal relationships separate, and he hoped Jack would be able to do the same. He suspected that might prove to be a challenge for both of them.

Jack gave him a reassuring smile. "The first few days of a new job are always kind of rough."

"I wouldn't know," Ianto admitted, sighing again. "I suppose that's the problem."

Jack settled his hands on Ianto's shoulders and rubbed gently over the tense muscles. "Well, just trust me on that. They always are. But before you know it, you'll have settled in, and you'll be fine." He grinned slyly. "Plus, don't forget, you've got your secret weapon."

"That's true," Ianto acknowledged, and unable to completely resist the effects of Jack's infectious grin, he felt a more genuine smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

He'd bought a new bag of his favourite coffee beans to take to the office. With the exception of John, who preferred tea, Jack had told him that the rest of the staff, like Jack and Ianto themselves, were all unapologetic caffeine addicts. Jack had assured Ianto that he'd have the entire office under his thrall in no time at all. Ianto wasn't quite sure about that, but he'd decided he wasn't above using whatever small advantage he had at his disposal.

Jack kissed his forehead, and the familiar, touching gesture helped to settle his unease. They returned to the bedroom, helping each other to put on their jackets. For once, Ianto decided to forego his customary waistcoat.

"There's a nice little place near the office with a great lunchtime menu," Jack said casually as they made their way downstairs. "I'll take you there for lunch... to celebrate your first day."

"You don't have to," Ianto protested, despite liking the idea of being able to look forward to a nice meal with Jack.

"I want to," Jack said insistently.

Ianto gave Jack a grateful smile. "That sounds lovely," he said, and then took a deep breath. "Right, let's go to work then."

###

Ianto had visited the Torchwood office for the first time two weeks earlier, when he'd met with John to talk about what the job he'd already decided to accept actually entailed. John had been somewhat vague about the details, but Ianto had been able to glean enough to get a basic idea of what he'd be doing. Essentially he was going to be their administrative support person, working primarily as an assistant to both John and Jack, but also helping the rest of the staff when needed. He'd be looking after filing and archiving, answering the telephone, greeting visitors, and looking after incoming and outgoing deliveries. In a nutshell, his job was going to be to keep all aspects of the Torchwood office running as smoothly as possible. While it sounded mundane and routine, he didn't mind that, and as long as his hands and mind were kept busy, he thought he might quite enjoy it.

The office hadn't been what Ianto had expected. He'd assumed it would be a typical modern, sterile, and utilitarian office space, and completely devoid of charm. It was with stab of guilt he'd realised that he should have seen where Jack worked much sooner. Prior to the housewarming, he'd been wary about meeting Jack's colleagues, and since then, there hadn't really been a good opportunity. Jack had never said anything, but in retrospect, Ianto knew he should have shown more interest and asked Jack if he could stop by for a visit. He couldn't help thinking it was one of quite a few missteps he'd made with Jack, and for which he wanted to try to make amends.

Jack ushered him out of the lift, through the set of wide glass doors, and into the large foyer. Torchwood occupied the entire top floor of the four-storey building located at the north-west edge of the city centre. The building was modern, and with its combination of exposed brick and plastered walls, tall ceilings, timber-clad beams, tall, expansive windows, and warm, neutral colour scheme, it was surprisingly welcoming. A large, modern sign spanned the wall opposite the doorway proclaiming 'Torchwood Publishing' in bold, blue letters on a white background. It was accompanied by the company's logo, a distinctive pattern of interlocking hexagons in the shape of a large letter 'T'.

They'd arrived early, and as they made their way beyond the foyer, the office appeared to be deserted. Ianto looked around curiously, taking more notice of his surroundings than he had on his previous brief visit. The north and west sides of the space were divided up into individual offices, while the remaining space was an open plan layout with a number of desks, work areas, and a long, rectangular, glass conference table at the furthest end. With the exception of a walled off area adjacent to the foyer, which contained a series of storage rooms and a kitchen, the rest of the office was partitioned mostly by walls of glass, giving it an open, airy atmosphere. Natural light streamed in through the windows dotted around all four sides.

While the size, layout, and style of the space was impressive, the general state of untidiness was immediately apparent. Now that Ianto had the opportunity to look around more openly, it was even worse than he remembered. Files, paperwork, manuscripts, books, coffee mugs, and all manner of office detritus seemed to litter almost every available work surface. When Jack had casually told him they were all a bit hopeless when it came to organisation skills, he'd shamelessly understated the severity of the situation. Ianto's fingers twitched involuntarily in reaction to being surrounded by so much disorder. He wondered how it was even possible to run a successful publishing company within such a chaotic environment.

Just as Ianto had concluded they were the first to arrive for the day, John Smith appeared from his office at the far corner of the space. He strode purposely towards them, a broad smile firmly in place, and greeted them warmly as he vigorously shook Ianto's hand.

"Wonderful to see you again, Ianto," the tall, wiry, man with his mop of unruly brown hair enthused. "It's going to be brilliant having you on-board. Jack, why don't you give Ianto the grand tour, and then bring him down to my office for a chat when you're finished? I've just got a couple of calls to make but I shouldn't be too long."

"Will do, John," Jack replied.

Their boss grinned at them once more, and hurried back to his office. "Don't worry, Ianto," Jack added, turning to face Ianto and smiling. "You'll get used to him. Okay, let's show you around."

The rest of the Torchwood staff gradually arrived over the course of the next hour and they all welcomed Ianto enthusiastically. Even Owen greeted him heartily, expressing his regret over the closure of Ianto's shop. Ianto was amused that Owen's manner towards him continued to be a source of bewilderment for Jack.

By the time Jack had finished giving him the full tour of the office, and Ianto was trying to recover from the horror of seeing the archives and other storage rooms for the first time, he knew one thing for certain. He hadn't arrived a moment too soon.

After talking to John in more detail about his responsibilities, with the older man sheepishly asking Ianto if he'd mind starting off with giving the office a bit of a tidy up, Mike had given him a run through of the basics of the telephone and computer systems. Ianto had always found technical things easy to pick up, so he didn't think he'd have any trouble there. Jack had shown him the large desk and workstation that would be his primary work area. It was centrally located, with a view of both the foyer and the rest of the office.

With his ad-hoc induction complete, Ianto decided the kitchen was the first area in desperate need of his attention. After examining the tired looking and filthy coffee machine, and breathing out a weary sigh, he slipped off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and got to work.

It was an hour or so later, having delivered coffees to everyone, along with a pot of tea for John, that Ianto was sitting in Jack's office, sipping at his own steaming cup of coffee. He tried to keep his attention fixed firmly on the older man, not wanting to look too closely at the mess surrounding them. Jack smiled at him from across his disorganised desk, while humming appreciatively as he sipped his coffee.

Jack looked at him knowingly, a hint of a smirk playing across his lips. "You're itching to get in here and tidy up, aren't you?"

Ianto allowed his eyes to drift around briefly. He immediately regretted it. "I'm surprised you can get any work done, Jack. Any of you, actually," he remarked dryly.

"It's not that bad," Jack argued, but his protest sounded half-hearted at best. "Is it?"

Ianto quirked an eyebrow but remained silent.

"All right." Jack sighed. "Yeah, it's pretty bad. But I did tell you we're all a bit hopeless. John's the worst out of all of us. He doesn't set a good example." He looked at Ianto imploringly. "Think you can whip us into shape?"

Ianto couldn't help smiling. "I'll try my best, Jack."

###

Jack had spent a large part of his morning surreptitiously observing Ianto. It was obvious that the Welshman had been acutely nervous since they'd woken up, although knowing the younger man as well as he did, Jack knew he was valiantly trying to hide his unease. Jack was worried about him, and while he knew it was perfectly normal to feel anxious when starting a new job, he was well aware that this went beyond the usual first day jitters.

He was also concerned about the nature of Ianto's job at Torchwood. It wasn't particularly glamourous work, nor would it be challenging to someone as highly intelligent as Ianto. He hoped Ianto wouldn't see the work as demeaning, but at the same time, he thought the change of scene and greater social contact would be good for the younger man. He also knew how much Ianto enjoyed bringing order to chaos, and in that regard at least, he thought wryly, Torchwood was perfect for him.

On a different note, Jack was quickly discovering how difficult it was to have Ianto and his impeccable, tailored suit in such close proximity, and yet, out of his reach. Thoughts of Ianto often distracted him at the best of times, but with the sole object of his desires so close at hand, he found himself struggling to keep his arousal in check.

As he sat at his desk attempting to make notes on a rather dull manuscript, his mind drifted with some deliciously lewd office-based fantasies. There was something about the combination of his reserved and polite Ianto, his stunning suits, and an office environment that sent Jack's libido into overdrive. Knowing that Ianto's innate professionalism would preclude any such trysts, even after hours, he wondered if he might be able to persuade Ianto into indulging in some office role-play at home. Unfortunately, that thought did little to quench his arousal.

Glancing up, Jack realised that Ianto had just appeared at his doorway. "Jack? Ready to get some lunch?"

Jack looked down at his watch and realised he'd lost track of the time. It was already after one o'clock. Looking past Ianto, he noticed the office was deserted, everyone else having already gone out.

Standing up, Jack quickly moved to the doorway and tugged Ianto inside, closing the door behind them. With a salacious grin, he pushed Ianto up against the wall behind the door and wrapped his arms around him.

Ianto gasped in response, looking at him with wide-eyes. "Jack..."

"Do you have any idea what having you here is doing to me?" Jack murmured as he pressed his face against Ianto's neck and breathed him in.

"Well, I think I have some idea," Ianto mumbled, as Jack rubbed his crotch against the other man's hip. "But we can't, Jack. Not here."

Jack groaned in frustration. "It's lunchtime and there's no-one around to see us. Just a kiss," he pleaded as he continued to nuzzle Ianto's neck. "Please."

"One kiss," Ianto allowed, his tone of voice firm. "But that's all you get."

That was all the invitation Jack needed. He crushed his lips against Ianto's and began kissing him fiercely, holding the younger man close as he pushed his tongue insistently past his lips and started exploring his mouth. Ianto remained unresponsive for only the briefest of moments. Then he acquiesced, reciprocating eagerly as his fingers curled around the back of Jack's neck. They were both breathless when they finally broke apart several minutes later.

"Huh." Ianto stared at Jack with a glazed look in his eyes, his hand stroking lazily over the skin just above Jack's shirt collar.

Jack grinned smugly. He loved how easily he could reduce Ianto to the point of near incoherency. Pulling away, he released Ianto from his grip, and opened the door. "Now we can go to lunch."

###

Jack climbed the stairs and moved to stand at the open doorway of Ianto's room. He couldn't help smiling at the sight. Ianto was sitting on his bed, knees bent and pulled up towards his chest. The younger man's brow was furrowed in concentration as he wrote in his diary. Ianto had told Jack that writing in a diary helped him to organise his thoughts and quieten his mind. It was something Ianto did often, usually every day or two, and Jack didn't begrudge him the time for solitude and reflection. Since their fight and reconciliation a little over two weeks earlier, they were both more aware of each other's needs both for time apart and time together.

Ianto had made chicken stir-fry for dinner and they'd talked about his first day at Torchwood as they'd eaten. All in all, Jack thought the day had seemed to go fairly well. It was clearly going to be a period of adjustment for Ianto, but he could see that with a little time, Ianto was going to fit in well, and become a valuable member of their team. He was pleased that Ianto seemed cautiously optimistic, and it was as much as Jack could hope for under the circumstances.

The only downside was that in a little over three months time, if his application was accepted, Ianto would be starting university, and he wouldn't be able to continue working at Torchwood full-time. Although Jack hoped, if the job worked out and Ianto chose to, that he'd continue on a part-time basis. That would allow Ianto to retain a degree of financial independence, which Jack knew was important to him.

"Ianto?" Jack said quietly, waiting at the threshold.

Ianto looked up. "Come in, Jack."

Ianto closed his diary and put it down with his pen on the bedside table. He shuffled a little further to one side of the bed and patted the space next to him in invitation. Crossing the room, Jack sat down next to him, bringing his legs up to mirror the younger man's position.

"Hey, buddy," Jack murmured, reaching down to stroke Moses who was curled up at Ianto's feet. Moses looked up at Jack with sleepy eyes while continuing to purr audibly. "Keeping Ianto company, eh? Good boy."

Jack turned and smiled at the younger man. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt you."

"No, you didn't." Ianto shifted closer to Jack, resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "I'd just finished anyway."

Ianto reached across Jack and retrieved a small, aged, rectangular metal tin from the bedside table. Jack had noticed it when he'd walked in, but he'd never seen it before.

"I was looking through some of my dad's old photographs," Ianto said softly, tracing his fingers over the top of the tin. "It's the first time I've looked at them since just after he died."

Jack instinctively wrapped his arm around Ianto's shoulders and held him close. He watched as Ianto carefully lifted the lid from the tin and removed a photograph from the top of the tin's contents.

Ianto passed the photograph to Jack. "This is me and my dad. I was eight years old when it was taken."

Jack looked down at the photograph with interest. It had been taken outside the front of Ianto's tailor shop. A tall, distinguished looking man with neatly cut, greying hair stood at the shop's entrance. His hand rested on the shoulder of a small boy with a mass of dark brown curly hair, a pale, round face, bright blue eyes, and a shy smile. Little Ianto was dressed in jeans and a maroon-coloured jumper, while his father wore a tailored grey suit accompanied by a white shirt and dark blue tie. While the man was a little overweight and more heavily built, his resemblance to Ianto was unmistakeable.

"You were an adorable little boy," Jack said with admiration, feeling sadness pull at his heart as he continued to stare down at the photograph. "And your dad was very handsome and distinguished. You look like him too."

"That's what people used to say," Ianto agreed. Jack looked up to meet Ianto's eyes. He could see the sorrow clearly in the expressive depths. "I don't have many photos of him," Ianto added, his voice quieter and tinged with regret. "But that's my favourite."

Jack passed the photograph back to Ianto. The younger man put it back into the tin with careful reverence and replaced the lid. He waited until Ianto turned back to look at him. "Would you mind telling me about him?" Jack asked him gently. "Tell me some of the things about him that you loved?"

Ianto looked uncertain for a moment, but then he nodded. He pressed himself closer to Jack, and Jack wrapped his arms around him, cradling him against his chest. Ianto drew a long, deep breath and then he began to talk about his father.


	24. Chapter 24

Here we go. Sadly, this is the second-last chapter. I hope it's enjoyable. Thanks to everyone who continues to review, it's greatly appreciated.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Four<strong>

Jack stood at Ianto's side as they waited at the front door of the neat, but unexceptional, semi-detached, red-brick house. Ianto was shuffling nervously from one foot to the other. Jack wanted to reach for the younger man's hand and give it a reassuring squeeze, but his arms were currently loaded up with meticulously wrapped presents, while Ianto was suspiciously empty handed. He idly wondered how that had happened, but decided it was probably for the best given Ianto's anxious state.

He turned his head to admire the younger man. Ianto was wearing the clothes they'd bought for his birthday, including his black leather jacket, and Jack thought he looked positively stunning. He was eagerly looking forward to getting Ianto back home again so he could ravish him senseless. His mind slipped sideways for a moment as he conjured up a tantalising image of Ianto dressed in the leather jacket and nothing else. If he played his cards right, he hoped Ianto might indulge him in that little fantasy. Jack could be quite persuasive when he put his mind to it.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present, he attempted to give his companion a reassuring smile. "It's going to be okay, Ianto."

"I know, it's just..." He trailed off and shifted closer to Jack's side, looking at him with an expression of resignation. "I'm sure it'll be fine," he mumbled, sounding entirely unconvinced.

The front door swung open and a woman with dark hair pulled back into a pony-tail, and dressed in faded jeans and a loose fitting, vivid pink top appeared. She stared out at them. Jack could see a very slight resemblance to Ianto in her features, but she wasn't what he'd been expecting, not that Ianto had actually described her. Unlike Ianto with his tall, slim build, she was of more average height, and on the slightly overweight side of heavier built.

She smiled hesitantly at Ianto, and then her gaze settled on Jack. Her mouth promptly dropped open, while her eyes grew disconcertingly wide.

"Hello, Rhiannon," Ianto said awkwardly. He gestured towards Jack. "This is Jack. Jack, this is my sister, Rhiannon."

"You're Jack?" Rhiannon asked, still looking at him incredulously.

Jack attempted his most dazzling smile, while trying to hide his amusement. "That's me. Jack Harkness. It's a pleasure to meet you, Rhiannon."

"Oh, um... yes, you too," she replied, seeming to recover slightly. Her gaze shifted for a moment, looking past them to Jack's car which gleamed from where it was parked in the driveway.

"Can we come in?" Ianto asked dryly.

"Sorry... yes, of course you can." She stepped aside and ushered them across the threshold. "Here let me take those," she said, reaching for Jack's armful of gifts. "These aren't all for us, are they?"

"Thanks, and yes, they are," Jack said, still smiling as he followed behind Ianto, who helped his sister unload the packages, putting them on a nearby coffee table. "We got a little carried away," Jack added.

He looked around the cluttered living room. The furniture was modest and dated, and overall, it had a definite lived in feel, and the entire room was fairly untidy. He knew Ianto wouldn't approve, and obviously Rhiannon hadn't inherited or developed Ianto's obsession with order and neatness. Jack wondered how much the siblings actually had in common. On the surface, at least, they seemed to be almost polar opposites.

A stout, chubby man with short, curly blond hair appeared from what Jack assumed was the kitchen, with a small tousle-haired boy in tow. Ianto had told him that David was a little over three years old.

"Aye Aye, Ianto. How have you been?" the man said cheerfully, beaming at them widely.

"Um, fine... thanks," Ianto replied, a little stiffly. "Johnny, this is Jack. Jack, this is Johnny."

"Good to meet you, mate," Johnny said to Jack, heartily shaking his hand.

Jack smiled after extricating his hand from the man's strong grip. "You too, Johnny."

"You'll have a beer, Ianto?" Johnny asked, moving back towards the kitchen as Ianto squatted down to greet his nephew. "Same for you, Jack?"

They both responded in the affirmative, and Rhiannon motioned for them to sit down on one of the two modest sized sofas occupying the room. The sofas, along with an armchair, were positioned around a television cabinet in the front corner of the room, while a sparsely decorated Christmas tree was near the opposite corner, beside the front door. Rhiannon continued to scrutinise Jack with a distinct lack of subtlety, while busily bringing in bowls of crisps, nuts, crackers, and a greenish dip that she informed them was spinach flavour. Jack was relieved that she at least seemed to be making an effort. David clambered up onto Ianto's lap, his wide-eyed attention shifting rapidly between his uncle, Jack, and the pile of presents on the nearby table.

"David, this is your Uncle Ianto's friend, Jack," Rhiannon explained to the little boy as she put down another bowl of crisps on the table in front of them.

"Jack!" David stated loudly, staring up at him. Jack ruffled David's hair and grinned. "That's right, little guy. Nice to meet you."

"That's a gorgeous jacket, Ianto," Rhiannon said after Johnny had returned and distributed their drinks.

"Er... thanks," Ianto replied, sipping his beer after David had squirmed and shifted to sit between the two men. "Jack gave it to me for my birthday."

Rhiannon looked at Jack in surprise, while Johnny simply looked impressed. "Very nice, mate. Our Ianto's always been a snappy dresser," he said with a chuckle.

"That he is," Jack agreed, smiling at Ianto fondly, and receiving a forced smile in return before Ianto returned his attention to David.

"So, how long have the two of you been together?" Rhiannon asked, somewhat pointedly. "Ianto didn't say."

Jack glanced at Ianto, and noting his tense posture, he decided to jump in and answer. "It's just coming up to six months since we first met." He settled his hand on Ianto's knee and patted it gently to reassure him, noting the gesture didn't go unnoticed by Rhiannon. "Actually, Christmas Day will be our six-month anniversary."

Jack smiled to himself as he recalled the life-altering day when he'd met Ianto. He could have so easily walked past Ianto's shop and not gone inside, never meeting the young man who had so rapidly become an enormous part of his life. He inwardly shuddered at the thought of how easily things might have turned out differently.

Rhiannon nodded, looking at them both in turn. "I didn't realise it had been that long."

David began struggling to get to the presents while chattering away excitedly. "Is it okay if he has one of his presents now?" Ianto asked his sister. "We got him two."

"Sure," Rhiannon replied. "You didn't need to do that though."

"We kind of did," Jack said with a chuckle. He watched as Ianto retrieved one of the large wrapped boxes and moved over to the empty area of the room near the Christmas tree, settling himself on the floor with David. Johnny moved over to join them, laughing as he began helping his excited son unwrap the present. "We couldn't decide what to get and we're both too stubborn to compromise," Jack added, grinning impishly.

"I know what that's like," Johnny chipped in, earning a glare from his wife. "Oh, brilliant," he exclaimed enthusiastically, looking at the large box they'd just finished unwrapping. "David's going to love this. Thanks, Ianto... thanks, Jack."

Jack shared a smile with Ianto and recalled how much they'd enjoyed shopping together for Christmas presents. Ianto had been adamant about getting David a Lego Duplo castle, while Jack had wanted to get him a Duplo motorised train set. With neither of them willing to give in, they'd decided the easiest solution was just to buy both. Jack wasn't surprised that Ianto had chosen the castle for David to unwrap early. Ianto's love of castles hadn't diminished in the slightest. He watched as Ianto and Johnny helped David get to the contents of the box.

Rhiannon moved over to sit next to Jack. He turned and smiled at her, noticing that she was looking at her son, husband, and brother with a fond expression.

"Thanks for coming to visit today," she said quietly. "Both of you, I mean. It's a shame you won't be here for Christmas."

"I know, but I really want Ianto to meet my mom, and I think the trip will be a good break for us," Jack explained, keeping his voice low. "Maybe you could all come over to our place for dinner early in the New Year?"

Rhiannon gave him a cautious smile and nodded. "We'd like that."

Jack finished his beer and they continued to watch for several minutes. Ianto was showing all the pieces to David and explaining how they fitted together, while Johnny was studying the instructions.

"I was going to make some coffee," Rhiannon said, standing up. "Would you mind helping me, Jack?"

Jack smiled. "No, not at all."

He stood up and followed Rhiannon towards the kitchen, pausing to give Ianto a reassuring smile when he looked up at Jack with a worried frown. Jack wasn't surprised by the obvious subterfuge. He'd been expecting that Ianto's sister would want to talk to him alone at some point during the visit.

"He seems happy," Rhiannon said as she filled a kettle and put it on to boil. "It's been a long time since I've seen him like this. I'm assuming you've had a lot to do with that?"

"I like to think I've helped a bit," Jack said carefully, leaning against the edge of the kitchen bench, and steadily meeting her inquiring eyes. "He's had a very difficult time, Rhiannon... with losing your dad, and more recently, giving up the business. He's doing a lot better, and he's trying hard to move on with his life. I'm trying to help him as much as I can, but it hasn't been easy for him." He paused uncertainly for a moment. "I know it's not my place to say anything... but just try to cut him some slack, okay?"

Rhiannon looked pained and sighed. "It's okay. I know I should have tried to be more supportive. I just never understood what his fascination was with that bloody shop. I thought that after dad died, he'd finally be free of it... that he could start to live his own life."

Jack nodded. He was somewhat annoyed by her casual dismissal of how important the family business had been to Ianto, but he thought her intentions were in the right place. "He's doing that now, but it's taken time for him to let go. He needed to do it in his own time."

"Does he talk to you?" Rhiannon asked, looking at Jack inquisitively. "Really talk, I mean? He's never talked to me."

"It's not always easy, but yeah, he does talk to me." Jack smiled self-deprecatingly. "We're getting better at that. Both of us. Just be patient with him. I know it must have been hard on you as well when you lost your dad... I lost my father too, so I know what it's like... but at least you had Johnny and David. Ianto, on the other hand..."

"Ianto didn't have anyone," Rhiannon finished for him, with obvious regret in her voice. "Not even me."

Jack remained silent, unsure of what to say. It seemed that Rhiannon was genuinely remorseful for her troubled relationship with her brother and for not being more supportive of him.

"And then he met you," she stated.

"Yes," Jack said simply.

"Well, he wouldn't have brought you here today if he wasn't serious about you. But are you serious about him?" she asked, looking at him intently. "Do you see a future with Ianto?"

"Your brother means the world to me," Jack assured her. "I love him more than I've loved anyone. So, yes, I'm serious about him. I want us to have a future together... a long and happy future. I'm pretty sure he does too."

Rhiannon nodded, giving him a small, tentative smile. "I just want him to be happy, Jack. After everything he's been through, he deserves that."

"He does," Jack said sincerely, glad they were in complete agreement on that one point at least. "That's what I want for him too."

###

Ianto busied himself with collecting the empty coffee mugs and carrying them through to the kitchen. Jack had taken Johnny out to look at his car, and David was still playing happily on the floor with his new Lego. Overall, the afternoon had gone better than he'd expected. They'd achieved their objective of introducing Jack, and Jack had ingratiated himself with his usual ease with both Johnny and David. Ianto had also enjoyed spending time with his nephew.

He wasn't quite sure about Jack's impact on his sister though. Conversation with Rhiannon had felt awkward, and it had been limited to relatively safe topics, such as his job at Torchwood, but he knew she was biding her time until she could talk to him alone. She'd already cornered Jack, but as far as Ianto could tell, the older man had survived the encounter unscathed.

Until a little over a week ago, he hadn't revealed the true nature of his relationship with Jack to his sister. When he'd first moved in with Jack, he'd simply told her that he had given up his flat and was moving in with a friend. The conversation had been brief, and he hadn't felt inclined to elaborate. With the anger of their confrontation on the day after his birthday still lingering, it was only at Jack's insistence that he'd even bothered to let her know about the change to his living arrangements.

But with Christmas approaching, and his determination to break the shackles of the past, it seemed pointless to hold a grudge that had ceased to be relevant. He already had enough regrets, and he didn't want a failed relationship with his only sibling to be another one of them. He'd also come to realise that their parents wouldn't have wanted that either.

So, with Jack's encouragement, he'd called his sister and finally explained that the man he was sharing a house with was far more than just a friend. While he hadn't thought that Rhiannon would openly object to him being involved with a man, she had never supported his decisions in the past, so he hadn't held high hopes that it would be any different this time. Nonetheless, he'd told her that he wanted them to meet Jack, and given that he and Jack would be away for Christmas and New Year, they'd settled on a visit on the Sunday afternoon of the week before Christmas.

"Finished giving Jack the third degree then, have you?" he asked as he put the mugs into the sink.

"It wasn't like that," Rhiannon replied from where she was standing a few feet away, covering over the leftover food. She paused and looked at Ianto thoughtfully, almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. Ianto wondered if perhaps she was. "You never said how gorgeous he is. He's like a film star."

Ianto couldn't help smiling, despite his earlier irritation. He reminded himself that whatever Rhiannon had said to Jack, the older man could more than hold his own. "He is very handsome," he agreed. "Why? Do you think he's too good for me?"

"I never said that, did I? I was just surprised, that's all... I never imagined you being with someone like that. He's just not what I expected." She looked at him pointedly. "And he's quite a bit older than you."

"A few years," Ianto admitted, trying to stop himself from becoming defensive, and deciding it was better not to ask what she had expected Jack to be like. "But neither of us care about that. We have plenty of things in common, that's what's important."

Rhiannon nodded, but looked a little unconvinced. "He's nice to you though, is he?" she asked, concern in her eyes. "He takes good care of you? He... well, he seems nice."

"He's amazing," Ianto replied firmly. He paused, trying to choose his words. "If it wasn't for Jack... I don't know where I'd be now."

Rhiannon sighed and moved closer. She looked at him sadly. "I haven't been a very good sister, have I? I should have been more understanding. I know how much dad meant to you... how much you loved that shop. I just didn't want you to keep living in the past when you had your whole life ahead of you."

Ianto shrugged. He was startled by her somewhat uncharacteristic admission, and the obvious feelings of regret in her voice. "It's all gone now, it's all in the past. Anyway, I've hardly been much of a brother. I guess we're about even."

"I'd like that to change though," Rhiannon said, her tone insistent. "Jack suggested that we could come over to yours for dinner early in the New Year... if that's okay with you?"

"Of course it is. Jack's a really good cook too." Ianto gave her a tentative smile. She was obviously trying to make an effort, and he wanted to try to do the same. "I do want us to try... apart from Jack, you're all I've got. But you and me... we've never gotten along very well... we can't expect too much too soon."

"I know," she agreed with a sigh. "I know we can't expect miracles. I want you to be part of our lives though... and Jack, if you want him to be. I want David to know his uncle... and not just as someone he sees for an hour or so, once or twice a year."

Ianto regretted not making more of an effort to spend time with his nephew. While he could blame that on his strained relationship with Rhiannon, in hindsight, that seemed like a feeble excuse. He nodded. "I'd like that too."

"Good." She smiled at him. "So, it's serious then? With Jack?"

"We're living together, Rhiannon," Ianto replied, more sharply than he'd intended. "That's usually pretty serious."

"Not always," she argued, looking skeptical. "The way you described it, you moved in with him because you needed a place to stay."

"I did need somewhere to stay," Ianto admitted, feeling a stab of remorse for his initial lack of honesty. "Obviously I didn't tell you the whole truth at the time. But I moved in with Jack because I wanted to be with him."

"And do you love him?" she asked with a frown. "It looks like you do."

"Yeah, I do. Very much." Ianto looked at her uncertainly. He wasn't going to deny his feelings for Jack, but it would be difficult for his and Rhiannon's relationship to improve if she didn't accept the older man's place in his life. "You... er... you don't mind that we're together?"

"Of course I don't mind, you daft sod," Rhiannon admonished, looking at him with exasperation. "I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you, Ianto. So, just tell me... does he make you happy?"

"Jack makes me very happy," Ianto replied honestly and smiled.

Rhiannon smiled back, and to Ianto's great surprise, she kissed his cheek and pulled him into a hug. "Well, that's all that matters then."


	25. Chapter 25

Here we go, the concluding chapter. A special note of thanks to Furious Dee for providing invaluable feedback, and for advice on improving one of the scenes here.

Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, and supported this story along the way. I can't adequately express how much I appreciate it. I really hope the story was been interesting and enjoyable. If you haven't had a chance to review yet, please feel free to let me know what you think of it.

Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Five<strong>

Jack leaned back in his chair and surveyed his neatly organised desk. He smiled to himself. Ianto's fastidious, orderly nature was beginning to rub off on him. The Welshman would probably say it was about bloody time, Jack thought with fond amusement.

It was the end of the final workday at Torchwood for the year. The publishing company would reopen its doors early in the New Year, allowing everyone to enjoy an extended twelve day Christmas break. It would also be his and Ianto's last night in Cardiff until after the beginning of the New Year. In three days time it would be Christmas Day, their first year celebrating the festive season together, and the first year ever that Ianto would spend the holiday outside of Wales.

They were setting off early in the morning to drive up to Scotland to spend Christmas with Jack's mother. They'd decided to drive rather than take the train, and it was workable since they could share the twelve hour drive, and complete the journey in one day. Jack wanted to use the opportunity to make some day trips and visit the surrounding areas, and he'd promised to show Ianto some of the Scottish countryside. They initially hadn't known what to do with Moses while they were away, but John had offered to look after the contemptuous moggy.

Ianto seemed to be excited about the trip, more so since Jack had assured him that he'd been singing the Welshman's praises to his mother since their first date. He'd told Ianto he had absolutely nothing to worry about. Jack knew that his mother was going to adore the young man.

Jack was looking forward to the trip too. It would be their first holiday together, and a chance just to enjoy being with one another without the stresses of day-to-day life. He also had a little surprise planned for the week before Ianto began university in late January. He'd put together a package containing all the tickets and travel details, along with some brochures. He couldn't wait to see Ianto's reaction on Christmas morning when he opened it.

Standing up, Jack moved around the desk and leaned back against the other side. He looked out through the open doorway and down the hall. Ianto and Owen were standing at the other end, just outside the kitchen, talking to each other. Ianto laughed at something Owen said, and Owen grinned back at him.

Jack smiled as he watched them. The two men had become firm friends, somewhat to Jack's surprise. He wasn't quite sure how that had happened, but he was delighted nonetheless. Ianto had struggled for a while when he'd started at Torchwood, and it had been a huge adjustment for him after his isolated existence running his shop. But, overall, he'd settled into the job remarkably quickly. Although he'd already been well liked by Jack's colleagues after their housewarming, his coffee making skills had firmly enamoured him with everyone without exception. Ianto had also proven himself to be an efficient, amiable, and conscientious worker, and the office had never run more smoothly. In fact, Jack thought it was completely unrecognisable from the barely controlled chaos of the past. He'd even noticed some of his female colleagues flirting playfully with the young Welshman on occasion. Jack might have been jealous if Ianto hadn't seemed quite so oblivious to the attention.

Most importantly, Ianto seemed to be genuinely happy, the dark shadow of sadness having finally lifted.

At home, things had continued to improve. With a regular income, Ianto had repaid Jack the money he'd borrowed, and he was paying half of all their living expenses, including a half share of Jack's monthly mortgage payment. Jack hadn't been particularly happy about taking money from Ianto for the mortgage, but it was a small concession, and he understood Ianto's need to contribute equally to all aspects of their life together. Ianto's obsessive behaviour had eased, and through a process of negotiation, they now shared most of the household tasks. Ianto still did a bit more than his fair share, but he said he enjoyed it, so Jack didn't push the issue too much. He had to occasionally ask the younger man to ease back, but for the most part, Ianto seemed to recognise when he needed to stop and just relax.

Ianto still had his moments, and there were times when he'd turn subdued and melancholy. During these times, he'd usually just retreat to his room and write in his diary. Those moments tended to be relatively short-lived though. Ianto had assured Jack that he didn't regret closing the shop, but Jack knew that a part of him still missed it. Ianto had also added some of his own personal touches to the house, and he seemed to be finally accepting that it was their home together, and not merely the house that Jack owned.

Ianto's sombre shirts and ties were a thing of the past. They'd gone shopping shortly after Ianto had started his new job, and he'd purchased a collection of new shirts and ties, in a range of reds, purples, pinks, and blues. Jack loved all of Ianto's outfits, but there was one particular pink shirt he found especially irresistible, and it hadn't escaped his attention that Ianto wore that specific shirt more frequently than all of his others. Ianto was also gradually expanding his wardrobe of casual attire, providing Jack with some very fond memories of their shopping adventures.

Jack often found himself simply staring at Ianto, his heart filling with love, pride, and admiration. The intensity of his feelings for the younger man continued to astonish him. In retrospect, he didn't think he'd ever imagined finding someone who would make him feel so settled and happy. Although they'd only been together for six months, Jack knew without a shadow of doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ianto Jones at his side.

He continued watching as Owen clapped Ianto on the back, called out a farewell to Jack, and then disappeared out through the main doors. Ianto turned and made his way towards Jack's office.

"Hey." Jack smiled warmly at Ianto as he reached the doorway. "Come here," he said, holding his arms out invitingly.

Ianto smiled back and moved to stand in front of Jack, allowing Jack's hands to settle on his hips and pull him closer. Jack leaned in and gave Ianto a slow, gentle kiss.

"Jack, we're still at work," Ianto protested feebly when Jack reluctantly drew back. The corners of Ianto's lips twitched upwards. "This could be construed as harassment."

Jack laughed. "And what about last week when you dragged me into the storeroom and had your way with me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "What do you call that?"

"It was only a kiss." Ianto's eyes glazed over slightly, apparently recalling the brief but heated encounter, and an adorable blush filled his cheeks. "And, technically, we were on our lunch breaks."

"It was one hell of a kiss," Jack said teasingly as he also recalled the encounter. It had been undeniably thrilling, and he loved when Ianto asserted himself and took control. "And there was definitely some groping involved," he added with a wink.

"Yes, well..." Ianto's eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint. "It's your fault... you and your fetishes. You've corrupted me."

"Oh, I have, have I?" Jack asked, trying to keep a straight face.

Ianto nodded solemnly. "Yep. Totally."

Jack laughed again and pulled Ianto into another kiss. Everyone except John had already left, and the work day was over, so he took his time and enjoyed himself.

Eventually Ianto pulled back, probably sensing that Jack was getting a little too excited. Jack groaned quietly in frustration.

"So, I was talking to John before," Ianto began, looking at Jack with obvious amusement in his eyes. "He wants me to stay on part-time when I start at university. Maybe one full day a week and two half-days, depending on my schedule. We'll have to wait and see how it works out."

"That's great, Ianto," Jack said, smiling at him.

While the original arrangement had been short-term for the three months until Ianto began studying, he'd hoped Ianto would be able to stay on part-time. He assumed John would look at hiring someone else to help out when Ianto couldn't be there.

Ianto had shown great interest in the publishing business, and he'd told Jack he was hoping to become a writer. He'd shyly shown Jack a couple of short stories he'd written during his school days, and Jack had been impressed both by his imagination and word skill. He intended to do everything he could to encourage and support Ianto's ambitions, but he also thought that Ianto had the attributes and potential to become a brilliant book editor.

"I knew he wouldn't want to let you go," Jack continued, and then looked at Ianto curiously. "Are you happy about that?"

Ianto nodded. "Absolutely. Now I've settled in and I know what I'm doing, I wouldn't want to leave."

"Now you won't have to," Jack agreed, feeling a surge of pride in the younger man.

Ianto gave him a wide smile in return. Ianto's smiles were more open, and less guarded than they used to be, Jack was happy to note.

Ianto stepped back and glanced around the office, apparently approving of its orderly state. "We should get a move on, Jack. I've got packing to do."

"Right," Jack said, chuckling at Ianto's pragmatism as he grabbed his belongings and followed the younger man through the doorway. "Let's get out of here."

###

Ianto woke on Christmas Day to find Jack staring down at him with a mixture of anticipation and affection dancing in his bright blue eyes. "Mmm... morning," he mumbled, blinking and reaching up to rub blearily at his face.

Consciousness had barely taken hold as Jack pulled him up and into his arms. He captured Ianto lips in a soft kiss. "Merry Christmas, Ianto."

Ianto smiled a little drowsily as he reached up to trace his fingertips along Jack's unshaven cheek and over his chin. He returned Jack's kiss with a tender one of his own. "Merry Christmas, Jack."

The drive to Scotland two days earlier had been long and tiring, but uneventful. They were staying in a lovely, classically furnished room at a beautiful period hotel on the outskirts of Glasgow, just a few minutes drive from the home of Jack's mother. They could have stayed in the small guest room at her house, but they'd decided that a hotel would be better as it would allow them to have their own space and privacy, for which Ianto was grateful. He wasn't sure how comfortable he would have felt sleeping in the same bed with Jack while under his mother's roof, and it would almost certainly have put a serious damper on their sexual activities for the duration of their visit.

Jack had also booked them an overnight stay at a nearby fourteenth-century castle for their final night before they returned to Wales. Ianto had never stayed in a castle before and he was eagerly looking forward to it. He'd spent some time reading everything he could find about the history of the castle before they'd left Cardiff.

He'd been anxious about meeting Jack's mother. As much as Jack had reassured him that he had nothing to worry about, he hadn't been able to let go of the small sliver of fear that she'd find him unworthy of her son. He'd tried to convince himself that this was a normal enough concern when meeting the parents of one's partner for the first time. However, he'd been completely surprised when they'd pulled up at the front of the house after their long journey, and Jack's mother had rushed out her front door to greet them.

Helen Harkness was nothing like Ianto had expected. For some ridiculous reason, he'd conjured up an image of an older, female version of Jack, with a larger than life and outrageously flirtatious personality. He couldn't have been more wrong. Helen was a petite, diminutive woman with straight, shoulder-length blonde hair, and a quiet, softly spoken manner. It was in her intelligent, expressive blue eyes that he could see a resemblance to Jack. She'd greeted them both warmly with kisses to their cheeks and hugs, and despite a little initial awkwardness on his part, Ianto had almost immediately liked her. It was obvious that she adored her son, and Jack's face had lit up the moment he'd seen her.

The plan for Christmas Day itself had worked out well. They weren't due at Helen's until one o'clock for Christmas lunch, so they had the entire morning to themselves. Ianto was glad they had part of the day to spend together in private. It was a particular significant day for both of them. Not only was it their first Christmas together, and their first trip away together, it also marked exactly six months since the fateful day when Jack had walked into Ianto's shop for the first time.

Jack pulled back a little, his arms settling around Ianto's waist, and Ianto took a moment just to gaze into the older man's eyes. The intensity of emotion he saw might have been intimidating if his own feelings weren't equally as deep and powerful. He'd been a little dubious at first about spending Christmas away from Cardiff and what was familiar, but he'd decided none of that mattered. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

"So, can we open our presents now?" Jack asked, looking hopeful.

"Shouldn't we have breakfast first? At least some coffee?" Ianto suggested, only barely managing to hold back a grin, and already knowing what Jack's answer would be.

Jack shook his head firmly. "Nope. Presents first, then we can have some breakfast."

"Oh, all right," Ianto agreed, resisting the temptation to roll his eyes. "But I need to use the bathroom before I do anything else."

Jack sighed dramatically. "Okay, but don't take too long. I've already been waiting very patiently for you to wake up."

Ianto laughed, and after reluctantly extricating himself from Jack's arms, he retrieved clean underwear and a t-shirt and padded into the bathroom. After some hurried ablutions, he returned a couple of minutes later to find Jack similarly attired and sitting cross-legged on the large bed, looking at him expectantly. After retrieving the small box wrapped neatly in silver paper from his bag, he joined Jack on the bed, sitting opposite him so their knees were touching.

They'd agreed they were allowed two gifts each. One set would be exchanged with the rest of the gift giving during the festivities with Jack's family, while they'd exchange the other set of gifts in private.

"Here, this is for you, Ianto." Jack placed a thin rectangular parcel wrapped in shiny red paper in Ianto's lap. He smiled gently, looking almost shy. "Actually, it's for both of us. It's kind of a combined Christmas and six-month anniversary present. I hope you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will," Ianto said as he looked down at the package and tried to figure out what it was.

He carefully removed the wrapping paper to reveal a semi-translucent plastic filing wallet. His curiosity piqued, Ianto lifted back the flap and removed the contents. He looked at the collection of brochures and tickets in confusion for a moment until he spotted the pair of return fare train tickets for Cardiff to Paris.

Ianto let out a small, involuntarily gasp and looked up at Jack. "We're going to Paris?" he asked the other man incredulously.

Jack nodded. "Yup. The week before you start university. Everything's booked and I cleared it with John for both of us to have the week off, so we're all set. Is that all right?"

"Jack, that's brilliant," Ianto exclaimed, grinning happily. He looked back down at the tickets and other documentation in awe. "I've always wanted to go there. Almost for as long as I can remember."

Jack smiled, looking both pleased and relieved. "I remember you telling me once. I've always wanted to go there too."

Ianto looked up at Jack in surprise. "Oh, I thought you'd been before?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I've thought about going a few times, but for some reason, I never got around to it." He shrugged self-deprecatingly and looked uncharacteristically self-conscious. "I think... well, I think I was waiting for you."

Touched by the sincerity of Jack's words, Ianto carefully slipped everything he was holding back into the envelope, and placed it down on the bed beside him. Shuffling closer, he pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him. "Jack, thank you," he murmured after they pulled apart. "This is perfect."

Ianto reached over and retrieved the small silver box from where he'd put it on the bedside table. Resuming his position opposite Jack, he handed the box to him. "This is for you."

Ianto bit down on his bottom lip as he watched Jack nervously, his stomach constricting with a stab of anxiety. He'd considered and rejected countless ideas before arriving at a final decision. The other gift he'd bought for Jack had been relatively easy – he'd found a beautiful wool and cashmere jumper in sapphire blue, and he'd cheated slightly by pairing it with a coordinating fine wool scarf, and a pair of stylish woollen gloves. But for his private gift to Jack, he'd wanted something symbolic and meaningful. He'd wanted a gift that would ensure the older man had no doubt about the depth of Ianto's love for him, and of his commitment to their future together.

Jack studied the small parcel with a curious look on his face. Unlike Ianto, he carelessly tore off the wrapping paper, but looked perplexed when he was confronted by an unassuming and unmarked white box.

Ianto squirmed self-consciously. Being fiercely proud of his heritage, he'd wanted to give a piece of that to the man who had so completely captured his heart. He'd thought that parting with something so priceless and irreplaceable might have been a terrible wrench, but in actual fact it wasn't at all. Giving this to Jack felt exactly right. He just hoped that Jack would welcome and appreciate the significance of the gesture.

"Go ahead and open it, Jack," he said in little more than a whisper.

Jack slowly lifted the lid off the box, and putting it aside, he pulled back the tissue paper within. He removed the antique silver pocket watch and stared at it with wide eyes. "Ianto, it's beautiful," he whispered as he gently opened the casing and traced his fingers over the neat roman numerals beneath the glass face.

Ianto took a deep breath. "It was my dad's. Actually, my grandfather gave it to him. It was broken for a long time, but I managed to find someone to fix it. I had it repaired and cleaned, and the glass was cracked so I had that replaced. Now, it's as good as new." He paused and looked at Jack apprehensively, trying to discern what he might be thinking. "Um... do you like it?"

Jack looked up at him, and he appeared to be utterly dumbfounded. He blinked, and reaching up, he roughly wiped at his eyes. "Ianto... it's... I don't know what to say. I love it, and this means so much... that you're giving me something that's so precious to you." He paused as his voice wavered with emotion. "Thank you."

Ianto smiled with relief. Leaning in, he kissed Jack softly. "I love you, Jack. I never want you to doubt how much."

"I don't doubt it," Jack replied earnestly. "I love you too, Ianto."

Jack put the pocket watch carefully back into the box, and replacing the lid, he put it on the bedside table. He did the same with the folder of travel details. Turning back to Ianto, he tugged him down onto the bed so that Ianto was lying on top of him. "Let me show you how much I love you?"

Ianto smiled down at Jack with genuine happiness. "Always."

###

It was just over a week later when Ianto crouched down in front of the simply carved headstone. Exhaling a frosty breath, he reached forward and after brushing away the light coating of snow from the ground, he placed a single white carnation gently at the base of the grave.

He glanced across the vast rows of headstones. The cemetery was desolate and deserted, the unusually heavy snowfalls keeping even the most devout mourners away. He felt a stab of guilt for not returning sooner. His last visit had been on his birthday, a little over four months ago. It was always difficult being here, and each time he was, he would feel all the pain and sorrow reawakened and pulled unrelentingly back to the surface.

Looking back at the headstone, he traced his eyes over the handful of stark words that never seemed to be enough. _'Dafydd Jones. Beloved husband, father, and son. Forever in our hearts.'_

"Hi, dad," Ianto began, his voice low and barely a whisper. "It's been a while since I've visited you. Sorry. I've... well, I've been kind of busy I suppose. Not that I'm trying to make excuses." He paused and a slight, wistful smile tugged at his lips. "Do you remember what you always told me? Never make excuses, make amends. You'd always have words of wisdom for any situation. All those things you said that you learned from granddad. Timeless words passed down from one generation to the next. I'm not sure if I understood half of them, and you'd drive me a bit barmy with them sometimes, but I've never forgotten a single one. So I'm here today, dad... making amends."

He paused and closed his eyes for a moment, steadying himself. "I've never been much of a talker. You know that. And neither were you. Not really." He huffed out a small, broken laugh. "We undoubtedly come from a long line of stoic, brooding Welshmen. I sometimes wish things had been different though. There's so much I should have talked to you about."

He paused again, shifting his feet on the frozen ground. "I met someone a while ago. Someone amazing. I didn't say anything last time I was here. I suppose I was scared... scared of what you might think... scared to admit my feelings... but I'm not afraid anymore... at least I don't think I am. His name... his name's Jack. Does that surprise you? Somehow, I don't think it does. Maybe you knew all along, but you wanted me to figure it out in my own time." He chuckled under his breath. "You're probably more horrified that Jack's not Welsh than you are that he's a man. He's a good man though. He's kind and generous... he looks after me... and I try to look after him. Sometimes I think he's better than I deserve, but I'm trying to be worthy of him. I think you would have liked him. I'm sure he would have liked you."

He stopped again as tears prickled at his eyes. "I know it's probably not what you wanted for me, but he makes me happy. I want you to know that. It's taken me a while to get there, but I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him if he'll let me. I think he will... he says that's what he wants too. He's taking me to Paris later this month. Remember how I always wanted to go there? And when we get back, I'll be starting at university. I'm going to be studying literature and writing. I want to become a writer."

He blinked back the tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep the shop going. If you're disappointed, I hope you can forgive me. I tried... I tried so hard... but it wasn't the same without you. Nothing was the same. It was destroying me. I had to let it go, and find a new path for myself. Jack helped me to do that. I didn't want to at first, but it was what I needed to do. I hope you can understand. I hope that no matter what I end up doing, you'll be proud of me." His voice broke as a thick tear trailed down his cheek. "That's all I ever wanted."

"Well, I'd better go. Jack's waiting for me. He can be an impatient bugger sometimes." He let out a wry chuckle. "I'll visit again soon though. I love you, dad... you'll always be in my heart... you and mum. I miss you both."

Rising slowly to his feet, Ianto took a moment to wipe the moisture from his eyes. He glanced over his shoulder to where Jack was standing several metres away, watching him steadily. Ianto pulled his woollen coat tightly around his body and turned up the collar. He shivered as the cold winter air nipped at the exposed skin of his face and hands.

He slowly made his way towards Jack, his eyes lowered while his thoughts drifted. He'd spent so much time looking backwards, wishing things were different, regretting all the things he hadn't said, or hadn't done. He was finished doing that. Everything had changed and he had a future to feel excited about, for the first time in his life.

Coming to a stop in front of Jack and looking up to meet his expressive eyes, he was pulled into a firm, comforting embrace.

"Ready to go?" Jack asked as Ianto reluctantly eased himself out of the older man's arms.

Reaching for Jack's hand, Ianto stared down at their intertwined fingers for a long moment. The sight warmed him despite the bitter cold.

Keeping their hands wrapped tightly together, he smiled at Jack and nodded. "I'm ready, Jack. Let's go home."


End file.
